Status: Complete :)
Ain't Life Just Wonderful?
Eleven
I hate having Cory constantly on my mind. No matter what I do, I’m always scared that he’s going to show up and try to talk to me. Heck, I wanted to stay home from school today because of him and my imagination.
I had this whole idea that he was going to get a bunch of him military buddies together, gather a bunch of guns, and drive some camouflage trucks to the school just to talk to me. That’s what happens when I have long weekends and no homework. These crazy ideas work their way into my mind, from the safe they normally are locked away in at the back, and influence my imagination.
If I left that safe open all the time, my thoughts would no longer be happy, or just slightly worry-some. They would consist of a lot of people dying, coming back to life, being haunted. Pretty much anything you’d read in a horror story, or a murder mystery novel.
That’s why I keep the safe closed. Occasionally though, I go in to get an idea or two, or just a guilty pleasure type thought, and all the gory ones escape, and I have to lock them back away before I can get on with the better images.
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Ryan’s being really understanding about all this. I feel so bad for dumping all my problems on him. He says he doesn’t mind, but I’m sure he does. My letters are bound to get annoying sooner or later, and I just hope he tells me before it ruins our friendship. I suppose if I wrote about really happy things, he wouldn’t mind as much, but my problems are anything but happy.
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I guess it doesn’t matter where I go, I’m always excluded. Be it in real life, or in chat-rooms, I’m that person that’s just reading or listening to everything going on.
Take art class for example. My one friend is always talking about her boyfriend. I tune it out, it’s always the same news over and over. But as soon as another person joins the conversation, I’m all ears. I don’t want to be left out. I hate that feeling. Yet they exclude me without knowing. I thought I told them last year, when I was going through that really rocky time, that I hated when they took advantage of me and ignored me when I was talking to them. Obviously they don’t remember that discussion, they were all too busy exchanging Christmas gifts.
I fear that this year is going to be the exact same as last year. A remake of the same movies. Same plot, different characters. They’ll exclude me, I’ll get hurt. I’ll try to talk to them, they won’t care. I’ll leave, and that’s when they start realizing something is wrong. They come get me, and we’re all friends, on the surface that is. I’m still hurting inside, and they’re only pretending to like me. And then the year ends, and when school starts up again, so does the cycle.
I had this whole idea that he was going to get a bunch of him military buddies together, gather a bunch of guns, and drive some camouflage trucks to the school just to talk to me. That’s what happens when I have long weekends and no homework. These crazy ideas work their way into my mind, from the safe they normally are locked away in at the back, and influence my imagination.
If I left that safe open all the time, my thoughts would no longer be happy, or just slightly worry-some. They would consist of a lot of people dying, coming back to life, being haunted. Pretty much anything you’d read in a horror story, or a murder mystery novel.
That’s why I keep the safe closed. Occasionally though, I go in to get an idea or two, or just a guilty pleasure type thought, and all the gory ones escape, and I have to lock them back away before I can get on with the better images.
__
Ryan’s being really understanding about all this. I feel so bad for dumping all my problems on him. He says he doesn’t mind, but I’m sure he does. My letters are bound to get annoying sooner or later, and I just hope he tells me before it ruins our friendship. I suppose if I wrote about really happy things, he wouldn’t mind as much, but my problems are anything but happy.
__
I guess it doesn’t matter where I go, I’m always excluded. Be it in real life, or in chat-rooms, I’m that person that’s just reading or listening to everything going on.
Take art class for example. My one friend is always talking about her boyfriend. I tune it out, it’s always the same news over and over. But as soon as another person joins the conversation, I’m all ears. I don’t want to be left out. I hate that feeling. Yet they exclude me without knowing. I thought I told them last year, when I was going through that really rocky time, that I hated when they took advantage of me and ignored me when I was talking to them. Obviously they don’t remember that discussion, they were all too busy exchanging Christmas gifts.
I fear that this year is going to be the exact same as last year. A remake of the same movies. Same plot, different characters. They’ll exclude me, I’ll get hurt. I’ll try to talk to them, they won’t care. I’ll leave, and that’s when they start realizing something is wrong. They come get me, and we’re all friends, on the surface that is. I’m still hurting inside, and they’re only pretending to like me. And then the year ends, and when school starts up again, so does the cycle.
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Sorry about the delay. This little thing called school started, and this little thing called homework entered my life again, so from now on, updates will probably be every two weeks, at the latest. I'll try to get them out every week, but we'll see out that goes.What do you guys think of this chapter? Is the ending clear? All the problems with her friends? Or is it just something that makes sense in my mind, but not to everyone else?