Shadows

I am mad.
I am angry.
I am furious.
I am enraged.
I am infuriated.
I am pissed off.

I am a ghost.
I am a ghost, no one sees me.

I sit on my bed.
I sit on my bed and stare out at the street on which I live.

I am never leaving.
I am never leaving ever again.

I am staying.
I am staying here for the rest of my life.

I look at my phone.
I look at my phone and read the text message again.

‘Where arwe you?’

Alex can’t even text right.
He is drunk.
I know he is.

It took him two hours.
It took him two hours before he sent that.

I do not understand.
I do not understand him.
I do not understand him or how he treats me.

“How the fuck did you get home?” Alex asks. “and why didn’t you tell me you were leaving or text me back?”

He is mad.
He is angry.
He is furious.
He is enraged.
He is infuriated.
He is pissed off.

I indicate with my index and middle fingers that I walked.

“You walked?”

I nod my head.
I nod my head, glaring at him.

He doesn’t know.
He doesn’t know how mad I am?

I pick up my board.
I pick up my board and I throw it at him.

“Who am I?” he asks, his eyebrows pull together. “What the fuck do you mean?”

I hand him a piece of paper.
I hand him a piece of paper that asks the same question.

“Yeah! I get it? What do you want me to tell you?” He screams at me.

I did it.
I did it, I hit a nerve.

I hand Alex another piece of paper.
I hand Alex another piece of paper.

Demanding to know why he treats me this way.
Demanding to know why he treats me this way, demanding an explanation of his actions.

“No. If you have something to say to me, fucking say it!” Alex yells, crumpling the paper in his hand.

I open my mouth.
I open my mouth, I try to make a sound.
I open my mouth, I try to make a sound, to give him a piece of my mind.

I fail.
I fail, I snap my mouth shut.

“You’re so fucking messed up! It’s pathetic, you’re pathetic?

‘Then why are you always here?’ I scribble on a paper, throwing my whole notebook at him.

Alex does not answer.
Alex does not answer, he storms out of my room.
Alex does not answer, he storms out of my room, his chocolate diamonds melting.

Alex is crying.
Alex is crying and it’s my fault.

I am Carson McCoy.
I am a mean girl?