Shadows

Every part of my body hurts.
Every part of my body hurts, but I feel myself getting stronger.

I asked Vivian to enroll me in dance classes until I leave for school in October.
I asked Vivian to enroll me in dance classes until I leave for school in October, I attend twice a week.

I’m on the same level as all the other girls.
I’m on the same level as all the other girls, my instructor wonders how I’d be if I didn’t stop.

At Miss Laura’s School of Dance, I make a friend.
At Miss Laura’s School of Dance, I met Eden.

Eden is not me.
Eden is the opposite of me.
Eden is outspoken, funny, and for some reason…she likes me.

Eden has bright red hair, candy apple red hair.
Eden has bright red hair, candy apple red hair that Miss Laura hates.

Eden is going to school with me in October.
Eden is going to school with me in October, thankfully.

“Okay, so I was thinking... and I decided that we should key his car.” Eden says.
She’s laying on my floor, coloring with Lily while I turn on a movie.

The thoughts of her plan coax the corners of my lips upward.
The scenario plays out in my mind until I grin.

“Really though, he’s a dick. I’m happy he’s leaving tomorrow.”

I shrug my shoulders.
I shrug my shoulders, am I happy that he’s leaving?

Am I happy that I won’t hear him laughing outside of my window?
Am I happy that I won’t see him rolling down the street on his skateboard?
Am I happy that I won’t be faced with walking out of my house at the same time he does?
Am I happy that I don’t have to see those mud puddle eyes staring at me out of the corner of my eye?

Yes.
Absolutely.

“Bro. Honestly, I went to school with the kid since first grade. He’s just a down right terrible, awful, worthless human.” Eden says looking up at me.

Part of me wants to tell her she’s wrong.
Part of me wants to tell her he’s caring.
Part of me wants to tell her he’s intelligent.
Part of me wants to tell her he’s a beautiful person out of the public eye.

I know better, I know that he’s not.
I know better, I know that he’s an ugly person on the inside.

A clap of thunder fills the comfortable silence.
A clap of thunder fills the comfortable silence; I glance out my window in time to see lightning.

His eyes catch mine.
His eyes catch mine as he stands out in the storm.

Alex is drenched in rain, standing next to a black car.
Alex is drenched in rain, not getting in the car, just staring up at me.

I’m certain he’s off to another party.
I’m certain he’s off to another party, where he’ll find another girl.
I’m certain.

Another flash of lightning breaks the stare.
Another flash of lightning, I close the blinds.

I am Carson McCoy.
I am stronger than him.