Water cooler Romance

Our lips met. I kissed her softly. She started to kiss me back and reached her arms up resting them on my shoulders. Her fingers running through my hair and gripping tightly. I kissed her a little harded and pushed her against the wall. My hands ran up from her waist to her breasts. Lacey softly bit my bottom lip. I looked into her eyes and she stared into mine.

We stopped kissing for a moment and had our foreheads pressed against each others. My heart was beating so fast, my mind was wondering. I know this is wrong, but yet it feels so right. Putting my hands back around her waist as I leaned in to kiss her again. This time our lips just stayed on each others, like they were glued together. Lacey pulled away and looked up at me.

"Oh my God. I can't believe we just did that. Why? What is wrong with us? What were we thinking?" she said starting to become frantic.

I pushed her hair out of her face and left my hand on her cheek.

"I know. I...I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have done that, I am so, so sorry. Lacey, I just...I mean..you're amazing. I know you are with Frank.."

"Frank! Shit..he is probrably up now!" she shouted at me.

We let go of each other and looked around, making sure no one was in sight. Lacey straightened her shirt and I tucked my hair behind my ears.

"Look, Frank doesn't have to know about this. It would crush him, he would kill us both too. I don't want this stupid move to effect your band." Lacey said crossing her arms over her chest.

She started walking back towards the bus. I started to follow.

"Yeah, you're right..we won't say anything. But, I have one question for you." I said grabbing her arm to stop her from walking.

Lacey turned to me.

"You felt something right? I mean...I wasn't the only one that felt that spark right? It was crazy..but there was something there."

Looking into her eyes I could tell her thoughts were running rampid.

"I...yes...I mean..no...I mean...I don't want to talk to you about this! I have to go. I can't be with you Gerard. I am with Frank. I'm so sorry. You are a really great guy who deserves a great girl, but I just can't do this..."

Interrupting her, "I know. But you can't honestly tell me that you didn't feel anything?...." with a tears in my eyes I looked at her with my heart breaking inside, " can you?"

"I have to go." she walked back towards the bus quickly... as I stood there motionless.

There was a lump in my throat where I choked back the tears. My heart felt like it was dangling by a string inside my chest.

I know I messed up, I know this could be bad, but I just wanted to run away with her and escape reality for awhile. Things were confusing. I didn't want to go back to the bus, but I could not really go anywhere since I was still in my pajamas. So I headed back to the bus and just sat outside.

There was some paper and a pencil on the table, so I started doodling. Thoughts started running through my head and I started writing.

'I kept my mouth shut from the start, I kept my mouth shut for too long

I'm feeling lost, but when I'm in your arms, the reasons are gone.

I've tried so hard

to be the one

I don't like who I've become

Won't keep my mouth shut anymore
I've had my share of closing doors
Now I know I'm not afraid
I know exactly what you'll say
But I'm sorry it's too late

I kept this in me for all this time

Thought that I could make this work

if I just tried

I know you say

We should've never gone this far

But I won't keep my mouth shut anymore'

I read over what I jotted down. It made me sad. I nervously grabbed a cigarette out of its pack and lit it up with my lighter. Taking a long drag and staring out at the other buses, I sat there, having no idea what step to take next.

I crumbled the paper into a ball and threw it into the trash can near the bus. I quickly finished my cigarette and put it out.

Not knowing what might happen next, I took a deep breath, and headed into the bus.