My Road Trip

“Remmie. . . . Remmie. . . . . Remmie.” I heard someone whispering in my ear. It’s not that I couldn’t hear them, I could hear them just fine. I just didn’t want to get up. My body ached and I was still tired. So there was no way I was getting my ass out of bed.

I felt a hand grasp my shoulder and shake me slightly. “Remmie.” they said a little louder.

“Dude she’s fuckin passed out!” I heard one of the Matts say. I was gonna have to give them each a different name.

“Should we throw something at her?” the other Matt said.

“Well what should we throw?” Curtis said. My guess when he said that he started looking around the room.

“I got an idea! Grab one of Oli’s shirts and stick that in her face!” a Matt said. My eyes flew open, my back was to them so they didn’t see. They better not. I thought. A murder plan running through my head as fast as it could go. Then realizing I would go to jail so I said fuck that plan.

“What the fuck are you guys doing?” Oli asked. I could hear he was carrying a bottle.

“Trying to wake Remmie up. She’s passed out and wont wake up,” Lee said. “So genius over there said to stick one of your shirts that smell absolutely gross in her face.

“I could just fart in her face, I gotta let one go anyways.” Oli said. I heard him walking over to me.

“That! And a smelly shirt! I found one. And god does it reek.” a Matt said.

I slowly started turning my face into my pillow, hoping no one would notice. Was I ever so wrong. “HEY SHE’S TRYING TO BURY HER FACE!” Matt yelled.

I looked at them and saw Oli and Matt Nicholls jumping on me. “FUCK! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!” I screamed. Burring my face into my pillow as fast as I could. I was abruptly yanked up and turned over.

Oli had his butt in my face and let the nastiest fart I have ever smelt in my face. Then Matt shoved the shirt in my face just to make it worse. I couldn’t even describe the smell, it was so bad I thought I was dying. I was trying to fight them off but Oli had a death grip on my wrists. Matt smeared the shirt in my face. I could feel old Oli sweat getting on my hair and face.

Finally both of them got off me after a minute and I rolled out of bed gagging. I was coughing a lung up I think. I couldn’t stop coughing. Everyone else was laughing their asses off. Matt and Oli were on the floor laughing. I was panting trying to get some fresh air. I glared at them.

“JESUS OLI YOU ARE THE SMELLIEST PERSON I FUCKING KNOW!” I yelled wiping my face. Oli just continued to laugh.

“Well you wouldn't wake up.” Matt said in between laughs.

“Oh I was awake, I am just exhausted and I didn’t want to roll out of bed yet.” I said standing up and stretching. Seeing as Oli’s shirt was on my pillow. I narrowed my eyes at it. Great, I got a fucking smelly pillow. I thought. Walking over and picking it up off my pillow. Then throwing it at Matt, hitting him right in the face.

“OH MY GOD OLI YOU REEK!” he yelled trying to get it off his face.

“Gah, I need to shower now. I am not going to smell like Oli sweat for the rest of the day.” I said digging through my tote for my showering things.

“Well hurry up cause now I need a shower.” Matt said.

I rolled my eyes then walked to the bathroom. Taking a nice long hot shower. Making sure I was extra squeaky clean. I got out and dried off. Slipping on my dark blue skinny jeans and a white tank top and my favorite black and white checkered button up shirt. I slapped on my usual make-up. Grabbed my comb and started teasing my hair. Stopping to check myself out here and there. Then continuing.

The bathroom door slid opened and I jumped. Whipping around to see Oli stumble in and look at me. His eyes glancing me up and down. This seemed to be how he was gonna greet me. “What the fuck are you doing?” I demanded. Wondering why he didn’t knock.

“Coming into the bathroom to take a piss.” Oli said closing the door.

“Well you could wait until I leave!” I said stomping my foot. I felt like a little kid all over again.

“Hey! I waited till you actually got out of the shower. I was hoping you were still in a towel or something.” Oli said. A smirk plastered on his face. I glared at him then rolled my eyes. I turned back toward the mirror to finish my hair.

And Oli actually pissed while I was still in the bathroom. Thank god the toilet was not near me. Thank god. He came over and hip bumped me, causing me to stumble backwards and on my butt. I glared up at him. “Excuse me.” he said glancing down at me.

“Are you drunk?” I asked getting up and shoving him out of the way. He stumbled away and fell down. I looked at him. Yes, he is drunk. I thought.

“Of course love, I am pretty drunk right now.” he said getting up. He walked over by him and sat on the counter. Grabbing a bottle of vodka out of no where. I wasn’t even going to ask.

I rolled my eyes and finished up my hair. Checking to make sure the volume was to my pleasing. I hosed it down with hair spray. Oli started coughing. I smirked and kept on hair spraying. “Ugh, that shits nasty.” Oli said taking the can out of my hands. And tossing it away.

I glared at him. “GAH! I need that asshole!” I said turning to go grab my can. But instead Oli grabbed my arms and pulled me toward him. Pulling my face up to his. The second I knew what was going on, Oli’s lips were already smashing on mine.

I could smell the vodka he was drinking earlier. His tongue forced it’s way into my mouth and basically down my throat. I was couldn’t protest cause he had a death grip on my hands. They were going numb from how hard he was holding me. I managed to turn my head and Oli kissed my cheek. Then he just kissed down my neck. “Get OFF!” I said firmly. I yanked my arms away and pushed him off the counter.

Oli hit the floor with a thud. He glared up at me. “What was that for?!” he demanded. He leaped up from his spot and got up in my face once again. I shoved him back.

“For force kissing me jerk!” I said. I didn’t even grab my things, I just stormed out of the bathroom and into the common area with the rest of the band.

I sat down on the couch next to Matt Nicholls and crossed my arms. Sighing heavily and glaring at the ground. “What’s got your panties up in a bunch?” he asked looking down at me.

I sighed heavily again and glanced around for some alcohol. “Where is the alcohol?” I demanded. Curtis, who was sitting on the other side of me, handed me a bottle of Smirnoff Ice. I took it gladly. I wiped my mouth then downed the Smirnoff Ice. It was one of the smaller ones you get in 6 or 24 packs.

“Let me guess, Oli?” Curtis asked me after my third Smirnoff.

“YES! That fucker forced kissed me and shoved his tongue down my throat! What a fucking asshole!” I said throwing the bottle into the air. Lee and the other Matt quickly moved so they didn’t get hit.

“Well shit! Don’t fucking take it out on us!” Matt Kean said.

“That is Oli for yeah, and you’ll learn to deal with it.” Lee said.

“Well you guys aren’t girls now are you? So it’s gonna be HELL for me.” I said grabbing the 24 pack of Smirnoff Ice for myself.

“How old are you?” Matt Nicholls asked me.

“Nineteen, almost twenty. In a couple days I am twenty.” I said downing another Smirnoff.

“Okay then.” Curtis said getting up from his spot next to me. He walked to the little kitchen area and grabbed a bag of chips.

“Hey Matt.” I said.

“Yes.” both of them said.

“Oooh, I am gonna have to give you both nicknames or something,” I said looking between them. “One of you can be Matt 1 and the other can be Matt 2.” I smiled. They laughed. “I’m fucking serious!”

“Just call me Matty, all right?” Matt Nicholls said.

I folded my arms and grumbled. “Fine.” Matty ruffled my hair then got up. I turned and stretched my legs out. I looked out the window, watching trees, buildings, cars, whiz by me. It was so gorgeous in Germany.

I rested my chin on the top of the couch, watching Germany whiz by me some more. Everyone was off doing their own thing. Oli was in the bathroom taking pictures. Matty was watching a movie. I think the other Matt and Lee were taking a nap. And Curtis was somewhere.

“So where are we going, Matty?” I asked after an hour of doing nothing. They didn’t tell me where we were going, so I thought I would ask.

“Hamburg, Germany.” Matty said, not taking his eyes off the TV. I frowned.

“When will we be there?” I was trying to make some talk here. Matty wasn’t working with me.

“Uh, later tonight I think. Yeah later tonight. An hour before we have to go on.” Matty said, his eyes still glued to the telly screen. I rolled my eyes and sat up.

What is there to do on a tour bus? I thought looking around.

I decided that I could go get my things from the bathroom. Who knows what Oli could do to them. Destroy them for all I know. I walked over to the bathroom seeing the door was open I walked right now. I stopped in my tracks. Passed out on the floor was Oli. He was leaning against the wall with a bottle of vodka in his arms. I had to contain my laughter for what I was about to do next was amazing.

I grabbed my make-up bag and knelt down in front of Oli. Poking him several times to make sure he was good as gone. Another a minute and no movement. I continued with my plan. I grabbed some red lip stick and put that on his lips. Then I grabbed my hot pink eye shadow and slapped that on his eyelids.

“Hmm.” I said sitting back and digging some more. I found some purple eyeliner and put that on.

I had to contain my laugh. Then I wrote on his forehead ‘I’m a man whore!’. I grabbed my green eye liner and drew a heart on his left cheek. Then my pink eye liner and drew another heart on his right cheek. I saw I had some yellow mascara. “Brilliant.” I whispered.

I finished putting mascara on Oli, then I sat back to look at my work. I was about ready to burst out laughing. I had to cover my mouth. I found some random little clip of Hello Kitty bows. I hate Hello Kitty though. So I clipped those in his hair. Putting some more random eye shadow on him. I put on my purple lip stick and kisses his both his cheeks. Living my lip prints. I kissed his forehead as well and looked at my work.

“Brilliant.” I smirked grabbing his camera. I snapped a picture. Then sat next to him and snapped one with me in it. I don’t think I could hold my laughter in any longer but I had too.

I tip toed out to go get Matty. I walked over to him. “Matty! Come look what I did.” I said grabbing his arm and pulling him toward the bathroom. I pointed to Oli.

Matty covered his mouth and stumbled away laughing. I closed the bathroom door and laughed with Matty. “THAT IS FUCKING PRICELESS! Please tell me you got a picture?” Matty asked in between laughs.

“Fuck yeah I did! On his own camera too. Though do you have your own? Oli might delete it when he sees it.” I said, I didn’t think about that.

Matty grabbed his phone then walked back into the bathroom. He took a picture on his phone. We were both trying to be quiet. I saw some shaving cream and grabbed that. “Open his palm and lay his hand out.” I said walking over.

Matty did so and I sprayed shaving cream in the middle of Oli’s hand. I looked around for something to tickle his nose with. “Do you have a feather or anything?” I said.

“Uh I don’t know. Go take one out of a pillow or something.” Matty said.

“Smart!” I got up and ran to the bunk rooms. Grabbing Oli’s pillow I fished out a feather then ran back to the bathroom. I knelt down next to Matty. “Ready?”

“Fuck yeah. Do it Remmie. I will go open the door so you can make a run for it then close it.” Matty said getting up and going to the door.

I stood up as well, and bent over to start tickling Oli’s nose. At first he wasn’t moving. I tickled him some more then he started stirring. I dropped the feather and ran out. Matty closed the door and we both ran to the couch and sat down. He pretended to watch TV and I pretended I was taking a nap. I curled up and closed my eyes.

Five. . . Four. . . Three. . . Two. . . One

“OH MY FUCKING GOD! WHO THE FUCK DID THIS TO ME IS FUCKING DEAD!” we heard Oli scream from the bathroom.

Matty and I both fell to the floor laughing. I mean I was dying of laughing so hard. I couldn’t breath, my sides were killing me. Curtis, Matt, and Lee were all confused. Oli emerged from the bathroom same as I left him. Just with shaving cream all over his face. The others broke out laughing as well.

“WHO FUCKING DID THIS?!” Oli screamed again.

No one could say or do anything. We were all laughing so hard. My face felt hot, and I was starting to sweat. I think I even peed a little. Oli’s eyes narrowed down at me. I flashed him a flirty smile and wave. Oli turned on his heels and headed back to the bathroom. Slamming the door.

“This means war!” Oli yelled after he left.

“That was fucking priceless! That was amazing Remmie!”

“Thanks, I try.” I said wiping the tears from my eyes.

Haha, let the war begin Oli.