My Road Trip

Dizziness. My head felt like or made me feel like I was spinning around and around in a circle. I felt like I was riding a boat at sea, waves crashing against the side. Is it possible to feel sea sick when you are not even at sea? Or am I going insane? I am gonna go with I am going insane.

I laid there in my bunk, the world around me spinning as I tried to fall back asleep. This hangover I got going on here is not letting me. It wants me to get up and drink some water or something. I need to learn how to control my drinking better. Fuck my life. I thought rubbing my temples.

I shifted myself to get comfy again, the arms around me tightened. The person who laid behind me scooted closer up behind me. They were keeping me nice and warm and were comfy to sleep with. I slept good last night, despite the hangover I got going on here. I slowly rolled over, they pulled me closer to them and I snuggled into their chest. Their hand rubbed my back and they let out a sigh.

To be completely honest, I had no idea who I was sleeping with right now. I tried to open my eyes but they wont let me. They are tired and hung over and want sleep. So does the rest of my body but I was curious at whose arms I spent the night in.

Okay, just take a quick peek and then go back to sleep. I thought. Taking a deep breath before trying to open my eyes again.

I cracked one open but immediately shut it because it was bright in the bunk room. Someone had the light on or the blinds on the window open. Let’s try this one more time. I thought taking another deep breath.

I opened my eyes, squinting at the bright light. My vision was a little blurry and unfocused. I blinked a couple times so my eyes would clear up. They cleared and my jaw fell open, my eyes bugged out. No. . . fucking. . . WAY! I thought staring at the guy that was holding me in their arms.

I didn’t know what to do. I just stared at them, trying to think of something to do but I was in Remmie shock mode right now. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. “OLIVER FUCKING SYKES GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BED!” I yelled shoving Oli out of my bed, his arms where still around me so I tumbled out to and across the floor.

The guys came running in and looked around. “Where’s the fire Remmie?” Curtis asked.

I screamed. “OLI WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN MY BED?! AND WHY DIDN’T ANY OF YOU GUYS PULL HIM OFF ME? HE COULD OF RAPED ME FOR ALL I KNOW!” I yelled gripping my hair. I was mad, I was pissed, I was furious.

“Remmie settle down will ya. I didn’t do anything to ya. Your clothes are still on. The guys can testify I didn’t do anything. I just cuddled with you.” Oli said. I looked at him, he didn’t have a shirt on. That was real convincing.

“Remmie, really settle down. You and Oli really need to get along. There is tension here and it needs to be done away with.” Curtis said crossing his arms over his chest.

“Fer real, if you two don’t start getting along. I will lock you both inside a closet for the whole day and only let you out when you need bathroom breaks and to give you food.” Matty said crossing his arms too.

I looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “You wouldn’t really do that, would you?” Matty started towards and I leaped backwards. “Okay! Shesh don’t lock me in a closet with him.” I pointed at Oli who shrugged. Of course he’d like to be locked inside a closet with a girl.

“Now get your things packed we are leaving to go to the airport. We are flying out to Luxembourg.” Curtis said looking at the both of us. The guys piled out of the bunk room leaving Oli and I along together. Not a good idea.

“Did me sleeping with you last night upset you that much?” Oli asked, he was looking at me but I didn’t wanna look at him.

“Yes! Because god only knows you would of taken advantage of me.” I said throwing my arms into the air. I walked over to my shirt on the floor and pulled that on. Not a good way to start the day. My head throbbed. I pulled on the zip up sweatshirt I had on yesterday again. I started packing my things.

I didn’t get anything for my birthday. Just that vodka from Se7en and that was it. I guess the guys threw me that party but still. “Happy fucking birthday to me.” I grumbled under my breath.

“So did you like my birthday present I gave you?” Oli asked. He got up from the floor, standing next to me. His right arm resting on the top bunk. His eyes focused on me.

“You didn’t get or give me anything. Besides the party.” I said coldly, I did not feel like being nice to him at the moment.

“I did get you something. I was nice to you all day.” Oli said with a smirk on his lips. I rolled my eyes up to look at him. I glared at him, it must of not been to threatening because Oli smiled and laughed lightly.

“Your glares are not threatening anymore there love. Better work on them some more.” Oli said patting my lower back and kissing my forehead.

“UGH!” I shouted pushing Oli away from me. I grabbed my packed tote and stormed out of the bunk room. Leaving a laughing Oli alone.

We were at the airport, the guys were standing outside the bus smoking cigarettes. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at the ground as I walked to the guys. I was not in a good mood, hangover, woke up with Oli next to me, and I hated flying. I am terrified of airplanes. So I was not looking forward to this journey.

“Ah, she lives.” Curtis said smiling at me. I glared at him then back at the ground.

It was brisk this morning in Germany. The chilly wind blew all around us, tossing my hair around. The sweatshirt I was wearing was not doing a very good job at keeping me warm at all. Matty stuck a lit cigarette in my face. I grabbed it and pressed it to my lips. It was sort of calming me down, but not by much.

“You okay Remmie? You seem very quiet, it is unusual for you to be this quiet.” Curtis said shaking my shoulder.

“I have a hangover, I woke up with Oli in my bed, I hate airplanes, I hate flying.” I said staring at the ground still. They guys nodded. I don’t think they know how to comfort a girl who is deathly afraid of flying.

“Well the flight shouldn’t take to long, bout three hours.” Matty said looking at the airport.

“Yeah, and you will be sitting with Oli.” Matt said.

My head shot up, I stared at Matt. He smiled at me, a friendly smile. Apparently he saw nothing wrong with me being stuck with Oli for three hours on a airplane. Yeah, there is nothing wrong with that. Completely normal.

“Oh come on Rem, you two gotta get along. Oli is trying, he is starting to be nice to you. So you gotta give a little in return.” Matty said flicking his cigarette.

I sighed heavily and took a huge drag from my cigarette. They were not going to give up on trying to get me and Oli to get along. This was going to be hell for the rest of my time with Bring me The Horizon. Fuck my life.

We all finished our cigarettes and then smoked another. Oli joined us for our second smokes. Guys were running around us, moving their shit to the airport to be put on a plane. They had our luggage on a cart that was being wheeled to the airport as well. I watched them take my tote away. My iPod was in my tote, I didn’t have time to grab it. So I am going to be bored for three hours.

The guys started walking toward the entrance of the airport. Leaving Oli and I finishing up our cigarettes. Oli was staring off into the distance, I glanced at him then away. He looked cute, wait what is wrong with me. All the guys look cute but Oli just looked cuter today. In his black skinny jeans and red Drop Dead T-Shirt. He had on his red and black plaid button-up sweatshirt on and a black jacket over that. I had on what I wore yesterday, I was shivering a little.

“Here put this on,” Oli said handing me his black jacket. I stared at it then at him and back at the jacket. “Oh come on Rem, you are acting like I have a disease or something.”

I shrugged and mumbled. “You could,” I flicked my cigarette, wishing I had another. “You know I am only going to pretend to get along with you so the guys can leave me alone and stop telling me that I need to get along with you.” I looked at Oli.

He gripped my shoulders and moved me so I was facing him. He took his jacket and put it around my shoulders. Grabbing my arms and slipping them into the sleeves. “Why don’t you actually try to get along with me and not pretend. I am not as bad as you think I am. You are not giving me much credit here.” Oli pulled the jacket tighter around me and let it hang open. He put his hands into his hoodie pockets.

The jacket was a little big on me but super comfy and warm. The sleeves hung past my hands, so it looked like I had no hands. I laughed at what he said. “I will stick with pretending.” I said looking at my hands. They were red, chapped, and cold.

Oli sighed and grabbed my arm, he pulled me along to the airport like a little kid. I just let him do it, I was in no mood to be a bitch. I pulled my arm away from him but kept close. I can easily get lost in airports, they are so big and shit. I mean good god.

Oli and I made our way to the rest of the guys who were waiting for us. They were all laughing and joking about something. They stopped when Oli and I showed up. “Are you two ready now?” Matty asked.

“Yeah, let’s get the fuck out of here.” Oli said. I shrugged, I kept my eyes are the ground. I could feel my breath quickening, breaking into a sweat, my cheeks were hot, and I was shaking. I tried to stay calm, big deep breaths. Yeah those weren’t working.

We turned to head toward out gate, the guys walking in front of me. I felt my heart beat racing, my shaking was getting worse. My wiped the sweat from my forehead and gasped. I clutched my chest and stopped walking. Oli glanced back at me then ahead, he stopped and turned to look at me. “Remmie?” he said looking at me. The rest of the guys stopped too, concern was written all over their faces.

I stared wide eyed at the ground, my shaking uncontrollable. I felt cool hands on either side of my face. Lifting my face up to look at them. My eyes lifted to see Oli’s face. His lips were moving but I heard nothing. Everything around me went quiet. Everything started fading to black. Then I was out.

When I woke up, I was in a seat. It was quiet, my head hurt, I felt light headed and dizzy, my throat was dry, my ears felt like they were going to pop. The only sound was the sound of someone texting next to me. I groaned and opened my eyes.

My worst nightmare came true, I was on an airplane. I was sitting next to the window but the blind was pulled down. There was a blanket drawn over me, my head rested on a pillow. In the arm cup holders sat a water bottle, untouched waiting for me to open it. Suddenly my ears popped. “Ow!” I said sitting forward and rubbing my ears.

“Remmie are you okay?” I looked over at the person sitting next to me, it was Oli. He put his phone down and was leaning forward next to me.

“My ears popped.” I said quietly, it hurt to talk. Oli sat back and grabbed the untouched water bottle. He opened it and handed it to me. I took it and gulped half of it before sitting back myself. I stared at the seat ahead of me, Oli went back to texting. “I fainted didn’t I?” I looked at Oli.

He sent his phone on his knee and looked down at me. “Yeah you did. Gave us quite the fright. Terrified of flying huh?” he asked. I slowly nodded and gulped down the rest of my water bottle. Oli didn’t push the topic any further, thank god. “Try to get some more sleep. We will be landing in two hours.” Oli picked up his phone again, he was texting away once more. I nodded.

Sinking back further into my seat, I pulled the blanket tight around me. Flipped my pillow to the other side and got comfy. I closed my eyes, they were heavy and tired. I didn’t realize fainting gets you all weak and tired. Soon I drifted into sleep.

My dream, it was different.

There I was, standing in my grandmother’s backyard. It was a summer day, the sky was blue and cloudless. The sun was shining ever so brightly. I was staring down at myself, and my family. It was my little cousin, Victoria’s eighth birthday party. I was standing there with my hands in the pockets of my skinny jeans. I had on what looked like to be a Drop Dead T-Shirt. I could never afford any of those, but fuck I had one on.

I was watching Victoria run around with our other younger cousins. Her golden blonde hair trailing behind her. Her warm hazel eyes showed happiness, as did her smile. Victoria wore a yellow dress, yellow was her favorite color and one of mine too. She stopped running and looked at me.

“Remmie!” she shouted running toward me now. A huge smile on her face. “You’re home! You’re home! You’re finally home!” she repeated, jumping into my arms. I scooped her up and spun her around. Giving her the biggest hug ever, she was my favorite cousin.

I am finally home? Where was I? I watched myself again.

A smile was on my face, my eyes hidden behind overly large black sunglasses. The wind tossed my hair around, along with Victoria’s. Her eyes held mine, she was so happy to see me. But I don’t know where I was, or where I came home from.

“Did you have a nice time Remmie?” I heard my Grandma ask me. She walked over with some tea in her china set tea cups. I smiled and nodded at her.

“It was so much fun, they are all super nice once you get to know them. I couldn’t thank them enough to bring me home. Otherwise I would still be stranded out there in Berlin.” I said setting Victoria down and taking the tea from my Grandmother.

“That was very nice of them. I don’t know how we will repay them.” she said smiling down at Victoria. Who ran off to go continue to play. My Grandmother glanced past me and smiled. “Ah, here is the lucky man.”

This dream was getting weirder and weirder. Lucky man? I had no idea what the fuck was going on. But I turned around, a huge smile came to my lips. I set down my tea cup and walked toward this mysterious man. “Hey hun.” I said, I felt happiness, I was giddy, I felt like I could fly.

Two strong arms embraced me in a tight hug. This just wasn’t any normal friendly hug, this was a hug you gave your special other. This hug was full of love and care. Talk about corny but fuck that’s what it felt like.

When I pulled back to look up at the man. I gasped, not dream me but me watching me. I was staring into the face of Oliver Sykes. He was smiling at me, his eyes were looking at me adoringly. Full of love. Full of a bunch of shit. His arms tightened around me, I felt my own tighten around his neck.

We stared at each other, smiling. His brown eyes were like a warm pool of chocolate. They could make you melt and you could get lost in them forever. I felt like my dream self was getting lost in them. He gently stroked my cheek, before cupping them and bringing his lips down to mine.

This wasn’t any kind of kiss I experienced from him. Not the kind where he was trying to shove his tongue down my throat. This kiss was soft, he brushed his lips over mine. They were soft and gentle. Then he kissed me, I mean kissed me. It was full of love, again, and passion. His hand that cupped my cheek moved down to snake around my waist. He pulled me closer, deepening the kiss.

I was getting lost in this kiss, I mean I could feel the kiss on my own damn lips. It felt so real, the way he held me blew me away. He held me ever so carefully, his arms tightened even more around me.

“Remmie.”

I felt my dream fading away, the scene of me and Oli kissing in my Grandmother’s backyard was fading out slowly. I just stared after the picture until it was completely gone and it was just darkness.

“Remmie.”

I opened my eyes to see Oli looking down at me. I looked around, my head was resting on his right shoulder. My eyes drifted back up to Oli’s face. His eyes. Those eyes. They have the same, almost, adoring look in them as they did in my dream. They held my own.

“It’s time to get off now, we landed.” Oli said. Neither of us moved, I didn’t feel like moving. I was comfy, comfy next to Oli. My mind was still thinking about my dream that I just had. And what it meant.