Your Guardian Angel

I woke up to the sun shining right outside my window and looked at the time; it was already noon. I got out of bed as slowly as I could (I always hated getting up) and went downstairs to get some breakfast. My whole family was sitting around the table eating breakfast.

There were six members of my family, including me. There were my parents, my sister Jaime, my other sister Lindsey, my brother Jim, and I was the youngest. Jaime and Lindsey were both already out of college and Jim was in his third year of college, so none of them lived at home. They only came to visit as frequently as they could.

“Good morning, Sleepyhead!” my dad greeted me.

“Ugh be quiet,” I moaned.

“Someone is a little crabby this morning,” observed my sister, Lindsey.

“Yeah, this morning and just about every other morning,” smirked my mom.

“Shut up,” I said, laughing. I knew what they were saying was absolutely true. “Someone pass me the doughnuts; I’m hungry.”

Jim passed me the doughnuts.

“How was your date with Jesse last night?” asked Jaime.

“It was awesome up until the fireworks,” I responded.

“Why, what happened?” asked Lindsey.

“He told me he loves me,” I replied.

“What’s so bad about that?” asked Jim.

“I lied to him. I told him that I didn’t love him because I don’t want to be hurt anymore. It was a huge mistake.”

“I think he deserves to know the truth,” said Mom.

“I know he does,” I said, “and that’s why I’m going over his house to tell him that today. Last night I realized that I can’t lose him in any way, shape, or form, so I’m going to apologize.”

“Good,” said Dad.

After I finished my breakfast, I ran upstairs to get ready to go to Jesse’s house. I decided to wear jeans with a purple tank top that had ruffles going across it. As soon as I felt like I was ready, I got into my silver Chrysler convertible and drove off.

It took me awhile to find his house because it was my first time going there. I drove up to a big, white, Victorian style house with dark blue shutters. I noticed his BMW in the driveway, so I knew he was home. I parked my car across the street and got out of the car. When I got to the door, I stood there hesitantly and then I reminded myself that I wasn’t being fair, so I knocked. It took a little while before he came to the door. When he saw me, his mouth dropped open.

“What-what are you doing here?” he asked, recovering from the shock.

“I need to talk to you,” I said. “Can I come in?”

He moved aside so that I could get through. We went into his living room and sat on the teal-colored couches.

“I don’t see what we need to talk about,” he said coldly. “You broke my heart.”

“I lied to you when I told you I didn’t love you,” I said.

“But… why?” he asked.

“I was afraid. I was in love before and lets just say things didn’t turn out as planned.”

“What happened? What did he do to you?”

“Oh no, it was nothing like that. We never actually broke up.”

“Then what happened? You have me more confused than ever!”

“His name was Josh. He was actually a lot like you. Every time I look at you, it’s almost like he’s here too because I see so much of him in you. Anyhow, we met at the very beginning of eighth grade; he was in almost all my classes and we became instant friends. I felt like I could tell him anything and everything and he would never judge me; we told each other everything. Then, on Valentine’s Day, he asked me out. He told me that he had liked me ever since the first day we met and it turns out I felt the same way about him. We dated for almost two years. He was the best thing that ever happened to me…”

I stopped, no longer being able to stop the clear liquid from coming out of my eyes and dripping down my cheeks. Jesse gave me a concerned look.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“It was Christmas Eve,” I continued. “We were both sophomores in high school. He took me out me out to a really expensive restaurant and then afterwards we danced under a gazebo at the beach. It was just us; nobody else was there. It was the most peaceful place on Earth and I never wanted to break free from his grasp. I wished we could just stay there forever. But, then it got colder and he took me back to his house. We sat down by the fireplace to get warm and exchanged Christmas presents. I’ll never forget the way his face lit up when he saw what his was. I got him a baseball signed by his favorite baseball player. He got me the most special present I have ever received.”

When I said this, I touched the locket around my neck; I had never taken it off since he put it around my neck that night.

“What did he get you?” Jesse wondered.

I showed him the locket and the pictures inside of it.

“He got me this locket and a t-shirt with a picture of us on it in a heart that said ‘Love.’ On the back, it had the lyrics to the first song we ever danced to.”

“What happened after that?”

“His mom came home and yelled at us for being in the house alone, so I had to leave. He walked me out to my car.

I started to cry harder as I continued to tell the story.

“It started to snow, so we grabbed hands and spun around until we were dizzy. He grabbed my hand and told me that he loved me. Then, then…”

I stopped. It was so hard for me to tell him about Josh without crying hysterically, but I knew I had to do it. I went on slowly, trying, but not succeeding, to regain my composure.

“A… a truck came speeding down the road and he pushed me out of the way. I… I saw his body collapse as the truck hit him and then I blacked out. I woke up to see his body lying in a bloodbath. Just before he died, he told me that he loved me and wanted me to be happy. HE WOULDN’T EVEN FIGHT FOR ME!”

I screamed the last words and Jesse took me in his arms and held me for what seemed like forever. I cried and cried until I had no more tears.

As soon as I calmed down enough, I said, “Now can you see why I was afraid? I can’t lose you like I lost Josh. I wouldn’t be able to take it if anything like that ever happened to me again; I could barely get through it the first time.”

He looked at me with the most sympathetic eyes I have ever seen.

“I can’t imagine what Josh’s death must have been like for you,” he said, “but you shouldn’t be living your life like this. If you continue, you will never be truly happy. There is always a chance that you will never see a person you love again, and that’s why you always have to make sure to let the people close to you know how much you love them. If you don’t do that or try to deny it, then you are living a lie.

I smiled. “Jesse McCartney, I think you are the wisest person I know.”

“I know, aren’t I?” he said sarcastically.

“No, not really. I was just kidding.”

“Hey!” he exclaimed, pretending to be offended. He started to tickle me and I couldn’t stop laughing. I finally broke away and started to run for my life, him being very close behind. Pretty soon, he tackled me to the ground. He looked at my face as I laughed when he tickled me. “You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” he said.

“You’re not so bad yourself, McCartney,” I said. “I love you.”

He smiled and said, “I love you too.” Then, he kissed me.

From then on, I no longer had dreams of Josh; even though I knew he would always be with me and I would always love him. I had Jesse now, and that was enough to move on from the past.