Don't Blame Me for Being Me
Chapter 23 Now it seems I’m leaving but we’ve only just begun (yeah, ***, I came back and ended wh
Ordinary life began. Lessons, students, work, shopping with Dasha. She and Ryan broke up. And as I can see nobody feels bad for it. only me, in some sense. I miss Ryan wandering in boxers in our house at weekends. But it’s their life. I can’t make them be together if they don’t want. The reason? Ryan’s asks Dasha for moving to his place in Vegas. Stupid asks, I talked about it. Well, anyway we have Spencer living in our house. Dasha said he wanted to stay at our for a while. So he has lived here since their arriving, so for a week.
Dasha and me came to conclusion that our ex-boyfriends are just ungrateful jerks. They had a great fun due to us in Belarus, and now where they are?
***************************
It was evening of that day I arrived. I was cleaning shelves of wardrobe in a room where formerly Ross had lived and slept. And now Spence want to stay for another week in our house. so he need to place his stuffs and clothes somewhere. And there’re Ryan’s clothes stuffed. Dasha doesn’t wanna clean after Ross, so I decided to pack it all and give it back to Ryan by Spence. Or Spence can do with it anything he wants. So I was packing it and Dasha and Spence was next to e talking.
“So Spence, tell me how’s the rest of your band…I mean, how’s Jon?” I asked.
“Jon’s fine. What’s wrong with him? He bought a new car last week…and started a repair of his house. He’s in pink”, Spence replied.
“oh, he needs a new girl in a new house! jerk, why did he not take Olga from Belarus? She would cook, clean, wash for him. She knows medicine. It’s good. She’s almost natural blonde. What’s else he wants?” Dasha said praising features of my friend.
“I dunno why he didn’t take her. I’d take mine Olga, but…somehow…her fiancé appeared. I’m right, Dasha?” Spence said with an irony.
“So why you were sitting like a last jerk?! You asked a girl for a night – you got her. If you had other plans, you could say about it. to me and to her. Her fiancé is just a junkie. You could do better. But you had been sitting on a stove crying”, Dasha replied with an angry tone.
“it’s a past deal”, Spence replied.
“you’ll be remembering next 20 years that you missed such girl”, Dasha said laughing. “oh, about girls. When Ross and me broke up, I understood clearly I don’t need a man. So Spence and me went out to pick up girls. To find a normal man is difficult. And there were so many beautiful girls! I was going and looking around. I saw about 10 girls of such beauty that I almost fell for them. And, just imagine, Spence was looking at his feet. Jerk. He even was not sold a plonk. They said he’s little”, Dasha said.
“it’s false. They didn’t sell it because I was without any documents where they could find my age. And yeah, I was looking at my feet. I just was in thoughts”, Spence explained.
“why Spence has to worry about girls and ways to pick them up? He lives with two ones”, I joked.
“oh, very nice living. What do I get from it? one of you becomes crashing on girls and it’s impossible to catch another of you in the house”, Spence complained.
“so, catch me outside of the house, Spence”, I said and gave him a teasing smile. “So, what? We’ll catch each other somewhere?”
“yeah, let’s go, catch yourselves, guys. Good luck. You, Spence, are insulting me by your words now. I have crashes on girls as much as on boys. I had, I have and I will have it”, Dasha said firmly and stuck up her nose. “boys can hope anyways. But not you, Spence. You’re like a son to me. like a brother”, she added.
“I didn’t hope. It’s better for me to catch Ira. Somehow that not to get hit by Bren”, Spence replied.
“ha, Spence, you’re loser. At first, it’s not the right man to be afraid of. Secondly, I have nothing common with him…”, I began talking.
“At third, may be you should get him know about it?” Spence interrupted me asking.
“no, I shouldn’t. he was clear when we split up. He asked not to bother him. Plus I don’t wanna. So, no matter. we picked up girls then?” I changed a chat topic.
“of course. Very beautiful girls. I picked up. He was just present”, Dasha replied.
“let off! I took part too. A big part. You saw how mine was smiling me? From a mile away from me! Girls themselves pick me up. My task is to choose”, Spence said bragging.
“Spence, call Jon. I want him to come. He should give up his repair. He hired Mexicans? So he can leave them useful instructions and come here for rest from all of that…repair, dust, glue and paint. I wanna drink with him. I miss him,” I said.
“no, he won’t come, I think. He has a new car, a girlfriend there. You know Jon. He loves his Chicago and can’t stand long being somewhere not there. And he doesn’t wanna drink. He wants to rest from your village. If I say to him you call him he won’t listen to me”, Spence replied.
“bastard”, I snapped packing another Ryan’s shirt.
“He, of course, can spit on (used in sense ‘give up’) our collective and our collective will just wipe it. But if our collective spit on him, he’ll choke”, Dasha said. “it will be nowhere to go to him again. We won’t let him in our house anymore. He has a new girlfriend each week. His car can wait some time”.
“it won’t drive to anywhere”, I added. “Give me his number, Spence. I’ll call him tomorrow”, I said and Spence committed my ask. “Well, look, you haven’t seen pics from the village, have you? They were at my camera. Bring our laptop and find my flash card. There’re pics from Belarus and mine ones from Moscow”.
So Spence carried the laptop, Dasha brought the flash card. We switched on that and began watching our drunken and puffed faces, country winter landscapes. There was even a video when boys were skating from a hill. “Faggy” video with Jon and Spence remained of course. It’s a pure sin to delete it. Spence glanced at his Olga one more time, made a sad look and sighed. We patted him soothingly. Then I showed videos from KVN. Dasha of course laughed. Spence just watched that without any sense. But one his glance (I tried not to show them him!) at pics with Andrei was with so much sense. Of course. Spence’s HIS friend. I waited for such his reaction. I shrugged off it, closed the laptop and went off not forgetting to take two Ryan’s shirts I’d like to wear and say goodbye to Dasha and Spence. I’ll show her the pics later. If she’ll want.
***************************
Jon called me himself. I invited him to us very nicely. He agreed with no hesitation. He also wanted to find out about Brendon and me, about the whole our situation. Careful heart. There’s nothing to find out, nothing to talk about, nothing to think about, nothing at all. I said it to him. He affirmed Brendon wants to speak with me. I don’t believe. But Jon was too confident… so I don’t know what I would do if Brendon call or come (though it’s possible as well as I will be called by Charlie Chaplin).
I get messages from Andrei. I don’t reply. For what? I contemplate our pics. Seldom. Also…for what?
*******************************
So Jon came in LA to us. Not alone. It came a time to talk…
Dasha and me came to conclusion that our ex-boyfriends are just ungrateful jerks. They had a great fun due to us in Belarus, and now where they are?
***************************
It was evening of that day I arrived. I was cleaning shelves of wardrobe in a room where formerly Ross had lived and slept. And now Spence want to stay for another week in our house. so he need to place his stuffs and clothes somewhere. And there’re Ryan’s clothes stuffed. Dasha doesn’t wanna clean after Ross, so I decided to pack it all and give it back to Ryan by Spence. Or Spence can do with it anything he wants. So I was packing it and Dasha and Spence was next to e talking.
“So Spence, tell me how’s the rest of your band…I mean, how’s Jon?” I asked.
“Jon’s fine. What’s wrong with him? He bought a new car last week…and started a repair of his house. He’s in pink”, Spence replied.
“oh, he needs a new girl in a new house! jerk, why did he not take Olga from Belarus? She would cook, clean, wash for him. She knows medicine. It’s good. She’s almost natural blonde. What’s else he wants?” Dasha said praising features of my friend.
“I dunno why he didn’t take her. I’d take mine Olga, but…somehow…her fiancé appeared. I’m right, Dasha?” Spence said with an irony.
“So why you were sitting like a last jerk?! You asked a girl for a night – you got her. If you had other plans, you could say about it. to me and to her. Her fiancé is just a junkie. You could do better. But you had been sitting on a stove crying”, Dasha replied with an angry tone.
“it’s a past deal”, Spence replied.
“you’ll be remembering next 20 years that you missed such girl”, Dasha said laughing. “oh, about girls. When Ross and me broke up, I understood clearly I don’t need a man. So Spence and me went out to pick up girls. To find a normal man is difficult. And there were so many beautiful girls! I was going and looking around. I saw about 10 girls of such beauty that I almost fell for them. And, just imagine, Spence was looking at his feet. Jerk. He even was not sold a plonk. They said he’s little”, Dasha said.
“it’s false. They didn’t sell it because I was without any documents where they could find my age. And yeah, I was looking at my feet. I just was in thoughts”, Spence explained.
“why Spence has to worry about girls and ways to pick them up? He lives with two ones”, I joked.
“oh, very nice living. What do I get from it? one of you becomes crashing on girls and it’s impossible to catch another of you in the house”, Spence complained.
“so, catch me outside of the house, Spence”, I said and gave him a teasing smile. “So, what? We’ll catch each other somewhere?”
“yeah, let’s go, catch yourselves, guys. Good luck. You, Spence, are insulting me by your words now. I have crashes on girls as much as on boys. I had, I have and I will have it”, Dasha said firmly and stuck up her nose. “boys can hope anyways. But not you, Spence. You’re like a son to me. like a brother”, she added.
“I didn’t hope. It’s better for me to catch Ira. Somehow that not to get hit by Bren”, Spence replied.
“ha, Spence, you’re loser. At first, it’s not the right man to be afraid of. Secondly, I have nothing common with him…”, I began talking.
“At third, may be you should get him know about it?” Spence interrupted me asking.
“no, I shouldn’t. he was clear when we split up. He asked not to bother him. Plus I don’t wanna. So, no matter. we picked up girls then?” I changed a chat topic.
“of course. Very beautiful girls. I picked up. He was just present”, Dasha replied.
“let off! I took part too. A big part. You saw how mine was smiling me? From a mile away from me! Girls themselves pick me up. My task is to choose”, Spence said bragging.
“Spence, call Jon. I want him to come. He should give up his repair. He hired Mexicans? So he can leave them useful instructions and come here for rest from all of that…repair, dust, glue and paint. I wanna drink with him. I miss him,” I said.
“no, he won’t come, I think. He has a new car, a girlfriend there. You know Jon. He loves his Chicago and can’t stand long being somewhere not there. And he doesn’t wanna drink. He wants to rest from your village. If I say to him you call him he won’t listen to me”, Spence replied.
“bastard”, I snapped packing another Ryan’s shirt.
“He, of course, can spit on (used in sense ‘give up’) our collective and our collective will just wipe it. But if our collective spit on him, he’ll choke”, Dasha said. “it will be nowhere to go to him again. We won’t let him in our house anymore. He has a new girlfriend each week. His car can wait some time”.
“it won’t drive to anywhere”, I added. “Give me his number, Spence. I’ll call him tomorrow”, I said and Spence committed my ask. “Well, look, you haven’t seen pics from the village, have you? They were at my camera. Bring our laptop and find my flash card. There’re pics from Belarus and mine ones from Moscow”.
So Spence carried the laptop, Dasha brought the flash card. We switched on that and began watching our drunken and puffed faces, country winter landscapes. There was even a video when boys were skating from a hill. “Faggy” video with Jon and Spence remained of course. It’s a pure sin to delete it. Spence glanced at his Olga one more time, made a sad look and sighed. We patted him soothingly. Then I showed videos from KVN. Dasha of course laughed. Spence just watched that without any sense. But one his glance (I tried not to show them him!) at pics with Andrei was with so much sense. Of course. Spence’s HIS friend. I waited for such his reaction. I shrugged off it, closed the laptop and went off not forgetting to take two Ryan’s shirts I’d like to wear and say goodbye to Dasha and Spence. I’ll show her the pics later. If she’ll want.
***************************
Jon called me himself. I invited him to us very nicely. He agreed with no hesitation. He also wanted to find out about Brendon and me, about the whole our situation. Careful heart. There’s nothing to find out, nothing to talk about, nothing to think about, nothing at all. I said it to him. He affirmed Brendon wants to speak with me. I don’t believe. But Jon was too confident… so I don’t know what I would do if Brendon call or come (though it’s possible as well as I will be called by Charlie Chaplin).
I get messages from Andrei. I don’t reply. For what? I contemplate our pics. Seldom. Also…for what?
*******************************
So Jon came in LA to us. Not alone. It came a time to talk…