Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 3
Fuck! Motherfucking studying… (from one man to another. where did I get this fucking habit to like “one night stand”?.. )
***In some days***
It was late night…no, it was a very early morning when I came home. I got into my bedroom trying not to wake Dasha. I began undressing when I saw a bright light of some lamp and heard her asking “Jesus Christ! Where’ve been, girl?”
“You won’t believe”, I replied with a lil’ irony.
“What? I’ll believe in everything in so late time”, she mumbled sitting forward on her bed.
“I had sex experience”, I said.
“Oh really?” she gave the irony back to me.
“yeah. In a car”, I said.
“Fuck…And who’s he?” she asked.
“He studies with me. I think I told you about him. I was deeply impressed by him after seeing him at some lecture”, I made a tired smile.
“that with extraordinary haircut?”
“yeah. Fuck, I like his haircut”, I reminisced for a moment. “he has a very comfortable car”, I said pulling off my shirt.
“Girl, you were crazy? What made you to do it?”
“Nothing. Everything was fast. I don’t regret but I don’t know how to act after it. I’ll see him every day at the classes. What I will do? That’s all. don’t ask me anything now ‘cause I know nothing. You’ll better talk about Ryan”.
“I think girls from my workplace are old and envious shrews!” she said emotionally.
“Haha. Why?”
“I wanted to share my joy to meet Ryan. So I told them honestly and sincerely about my acquaintance with Ry. And so now I’m the object of their envy. Err. Bitches. I feel why and how much they dislike me.
“Uh, don’t worry about it this much” I said.
“Yeah, such man as Ryan will never even come up to them”.
“Exactly. So you and he are together?” I asked smiling.
“it’s kinda. I don’t know”, she yawned.
“did you have-“, I wanted to ask about their intimate life.
“no. we didn’t”, she cut me off. “What’s about you and Brendon?”.
“I don’t know. Nothing. Almost a week passed. No calls, no messages, no meets”, I sighed. It was true.
“It’s sad”, Dasha said.
“In addition I dunno what I feel to him, may be. He didn’t impress me as I’ve thought he would. Although I haven’t thought that he’s special or something”.
“Any love plans concerning him?”
“I don’t know. May be, no. We kissed”, I stated.
“Good. I think he wants more. I saw it when you both had came from the beach”, she said and yawned.
I was fighting with my desire to sleep too.
“And I think he didn’t want even that kiss”. I said discontent.
“And you care about it, girl! He’s good. What are you waiting for?” she asked.
“it’s not a right time to think of it. let’s sleep. I need a shower. I’m so tired”, I said getting up.
“ok. Be quiet”, she laid on her bed and shut her eyes.
I walked to our bathroom and looked in a bath mirror. So I saw a girl with a makeup which is almost drown and with a hair in a real mess. “Fuck. I look unattractive. But it’s result of an awesome night… Brendon?.. yeah, he’s good… and I’m really waiting for something… may be I need some kick… but now I’ve got no sign of attention from his side. During the whole week… Well, I’m hurrying nowhere…it had been a great luck to meet him….so, my sex adventure in a car will have consequences, this is for sure,” I was thinking taking a shower.

Some next days were awful. Of course I knew that I wouldn’t be invisible for that guy and he wouldn’t treat me as if we’d had nothing (though he must do it as much as I do). He thinks it’s nothing to hide!. Well, I couldn’t know he would be catching me everywhere and follow me and being in every place I would be. He’s a total asshole. One time is one time. I just want him to fuck off. But fuck we study together and I dunno how to behave myself. And it makes me feel a constant headache.
***after some days***
Tonight Ryan invited Dasha to go to some club and I wanted to go to anywhere very much… so all of us were sitting in “Mood” having an enough good time. Then Brendon came to us. I was surprised and I knew I had one of those looks, which is always when you have bad mood and unlucky days. I wanted to run away but it was obviously late. Brendon greeted and hugged us. Giving him a hug I noticed he was damn sexy that night. And then I saw a girl behind him. They were together. Introducing her he was looking at me only. I didn’t hear what he was telling. I was looking at him and thinking “you wanna show me you’re taken this much? you wanna check me? you wanna make me think what you and this girl will do tonight? Man, I have problems without your help”. Then I said to that girl some usual phrases. I was in no mood to make friends with her and just wished for the time they two leave me. Well, in some minutes Bren with his girl walked away somewhere. The next half of an hour I was sitting (almost lying on the couch) in a bad mood which I just couldn’t make better. I tended to think it was because of Brendon. I was staring at dancing bodies and pretty faces of Dasha and Ryan not interrupting their nice chat. Then I saw a familiar face…A girl I study with. Her name’s Kelly. I grabbed her and we went to a bar. We were having a good chat for a long time speaking about our common friends and our personal lifes. Then I saw Brendon who took a seat next to me.
“Hi, girls”, he said.
Kelly greeted him.
“We’ve seen each other tonight, haven’t we?” I replied sadly.
“Yeah. So I am Brendon. And you?” he extended his hand to Kelly. She said her name and some usual words.
“How’s everything going?” I asked Bren with no look that it was unpleasant to me to see he was picking up girls in front of me.
“Fine”, he replied.
Then Kelly went away ‘cause she and her bf had some plans. So she apologized and left us.
“Soo…”, I said turning my glass.
“So how are you, may be?” he said or asked.
“Bad”, I replied and drank down my Bloody Mary.
“Have some problems?” he said with a care or just pretended it was important to him.
“Yep”, I replied and thought “And one of them is you with your fucking girl. Now I know the reason you didn’t call for. Just the girl.”
To my surprise he began making me to speak with him more friendly. He was just telling me everything he saw and heard, any junk. After some minutes I was already laughing. And being at that wave of joy i asked him about the girl he’d came with. He made a meanful look and an idiot smile so I thought that she was his new gf.
After a few minutes of talking I was finding out more and more clear that I didn’t wanna see him with that girl or any other. I stared at him with no reason.
“What?” he asked me after noticing my strange (I think) sight.
“Oh… nothing… do you not think that your girl get bored?”
“You care about my girl?” he smiled.
“I care about you. I would kick my bf after finding out he had fun in some bar with some girl. Without me”, I said and booked one more cocktail.
“Haha. Don’t worry. She has a good company”, he said.
“You care less about your girlfriend”, I said trying to look indifferent.
“you make me go away? Wanna end up?” he asked.
I began worrying and being annoyed. I drank down trying not to look like alcoholic xD. Then I got up and grabbed my purse, which has a size of six ordinary purses xD.
“I wanna continue. In another place. I want you to be mine tonight. If you’re not so principal as I’m not, you can leave your girl with no explanations. If you can’t-”. I was telling fastly.
“I can”, he cut me off.
“So easy?” I smirked.
“Who cares?” he got up.
“Have a car?” I asked after a little pause.
“Yeah”, he smiled.
“So?..”
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So we came out of the club and got into his car. I called Dasha that to tell her where I planned to be. Although I didn’t know where I planned to be and where I would be happened to be.