Don't Blame Me for Being Me
Don't Blame Me For Being Me
Chapter 35
Time is going and we’re hanging. Places are changing and sun is rising as much as my desire to you
The whole next day we were driving to next place somewhere in New Mexico. Dasha and me woke up, dressed up and put on some make up. Then we awakened boys and told them about their “ideal jobs” we’d found by a computer. They laughed much at it. and Dasha and me did it too again. As for Dasha and me, the biggest joy and laugh were caused by the ideal job of Ray Toro. But boys didn’t understand us. I can’t get why that job of that person haven’t made them laugh. But it has made, makes and will make us laugh.
Today a laptop has been given us by Trohman. We all were still going. So Dasha and me switched on the laptop, I put in my USB Flash meaning to copy something from Joe’s laptop for myself. After some time Dasha and me spent in the Web, we noticed some CD with different music lying near. We put it to play, but then decided to copy some songs to my USB Flash (I call it just Flash). We began studying the list of songs. After downloading some songs to my Flash, I decided to do the same with a song of Ashlee Simpson. It’s not that I love her songs but I’m not against one her song will be at my USB. If I need smth else, I’ll delete it. So I did the same actions with that song as with many other ones, but it didn’t work. The laptop just stopped working and after a minute of waiting its screen just turned black.
“This bitch broke the laptop!” Dasha yelled.
“Joey, what’s happened to your laptop?” I asked Trohman fearing his payback for broken computer.
“What? Everything worked!” Trohman run up to us. “it’s forbidden to give into your hands anything”.
“it’s all because of Simpson. Her songs have computer virus”, I explained.
“her songs are just shitty and Joe’s laptop doesn’t wanna have shit at itself. You have а smart laptop, Trohman”.
Joe already switched on the laptop again and sat down with him.
“Trohman, it’s not because of us, really”, I said with a pouted voice.
“why the fuck did you put in this fucking CD? Don’t you see it’s fucking shitty?” Joe was yelling at us.
“we’re not dorks, Trohman. We can see if CD is not working or broken or whatever. This one is absolutely normal”, I said.
“Songs aren’t normal there”, Dasha added.
Trohman was silent and looking at the screen being concentrated.
“Is it alright?” I asked sitting down next to him. “Check my USB, please. I’m worrying”.
He entered my Flash. Everything was alright. He began checking his files. I put my arm around him.
“Joe, I’m sorry, but it’s not our blame. It’s Simpson and her songs”, I said with a soothing voice.
“what’s wrong with her songs for you?” I heard Pete’s voice.
“Joe and me are discontent about that fact her songs can damage our computer”, I answered him.
“why you’re protecting her songs? You like to listen to such pop stupidity? I thought, may be, Green Day is for your fav music”, Dasha said to Pete.
We laughed.
“And why you’re asking about only her songs? What’s wrong with her at all is obvious to everybody? If not, well, I can say. She has fake long nose, abnormally white unnatural teeth, fake fixed and dyed for 1000th time hair and have a boob job. And it can be not all of her fakes”, I said.
Dasha, Pat and Andy chuckled shyly, Trohman smirked loudly and Pete just had nothing to reply.
Trohman didn’t gave us his laptop again that day. That’s why Dasha and me spent time roaming at backstage.
******************************************************************************
So, we came to Las Cruces, NM. This time we stayed in a hotel for a night. Dasha and me asked a separate room, of course. Boys pretended they were against that taking apart, but with a laugh let us go. Dasha and me went to our room carrying our bags.
“why did we ask another room?” Dasha asked.
“I dunno. Just to sleep with 5 men in one room of fucking smelling hotel is not for what I agreed to touring”, I replied.
“I thought it was clear that Pete and I would have one room. But he asked. And being with boys. I had to refuse”, Dasha said.
“and Trohman even asked about and suggested me nothing! So I’m going now being very happy!” I said with an anger.
“why did Pete not insist? Why he didn’t try to convince?” Dasha asked more herself, not me.
“what the trash Trohman conceived of? We’re friends! As if he thinks he’s a good friend. Friend…he’s an asshole”, I said.
“I’m just idiot. Why I refused?” Dasha sighed.
“you’re lucky. You were offered intimacy or whatever. I won’t expected this from Trohman. Ever”, I said with a sadness and envy.
“why Pete insisted so weakly? He doesn’t like me?” Dasha said.
“No!!! He likes you. By what part of my body I can adore Trohman is the question”, I became thoughtful.
“Trohman is not a problem. But Pete…Everything’s so odd, so obscure. What does he think about me?” Dasha said.
“only good”, I replied. “unless Trohman. Whatever he says now, it sure as hell he can’t forgive me that time in Moscow I didn’t let him in and laughed at that he could give a wonderful love night. So what? I’m ready to let him in now! But he won’t come to me for it. ‘cause we’re friends’, I said.
“at least you have some certainty. And who’s Pete for me? what does he want from me? does he want at all? When I didn’t like him, he wanted and was very persistent. And now when I agree for everything, there’s no obvious initiative from his side”, Dasha said.
“Certainty! Fuck such certainty! Initiative! Trohman was initiative one time behind a door and being drunken! What we’re talking about at all?! They’re impotencies! What was worth for him to take us in their own rooms? They could place their hands on our waists and lead to their bedrooms”, I said.
“oh, don’t tell so. I’m ready to cry. I’m imagining what would be and it’d be just cool. I don’t wanna sleep alone! I want to be with Pete! But he doesn’t. may be let’s go to them and just offer ourselves?” Dasha was about to go crazy.
“no, we won’t go. I can say at once they’ll refuse from our services even if we go to them naked”, I replied firmly.
“I just can’t understand this everything”, Dasha sighed.
“yeah, it’s all just difficult”.
“it’s just a facts”.
“Sad ones”.
“very”.
“yeah”.
We went silent.
Time is going and we’re hanging. Places are changing and sun is rising as much as my desire to you
The whole next day we were driving to next place somewhere in New Mexico. Dasha and me woke up, dressed up and put on some make up. Then we awakened boys and told them about their “ideal jobs” we’d found by a computer. They laughed much at it. and Dasha and me did it too again. As for Dasha and me, the biggest joy and laugh were caused by the ideal job of Ray Toro. But boys didn’t understand us. I can’t get why that job of that person haven’t made them laugh. But it has made, makes and will make us laugh.
Today a laptop has been given us by Trohman. We all were still going. So Dasha and me switched on the laptop, I put in my USB Flash meaning to copy something from Joe’s laptop for myself. After some time Dasha and me spent in the Web, we noticed some CD with different music lying near. We put it to play, but then decided to copy some songs to my USB Flash (I call it just Flash). We began studying the list of songs. After downloading some songs to my Flash, I decided to do the same with a song of Ashlee Simpson. It’s not that I love her songs but I’m not against one her song will be at my USB. If I need smth else, I’ll delete it. So I did the same actions with that song as with many other ones, but it didn’t work. The laptop just stopped working and after a minute of waiting its screen just turned black.
“This bitch broke the laptop!” Dasha yelled.
“Joey, what’s happened to your laptop?” I asked Trohman fearing his payback for broken computer.
“What? Everything worked!” Trohman run up to us. “it’s forbidden to give into your hands anything”.
“it’s all because of Simpson. Her songs have computer virus”, I explained.
“her songs are just shitty and Joe’s laptop doesn’t wanna have shit at itself. You have а smart laptop, Trohman”.
Joe already switched on the laptop again and sat down with him.
“Trohman, it’s not because of us, really”, I said with a pouted voice.
“why the fuck did you put in this fucking CD? Don’t you see it’s fucking shitty?” Joe was yelling at us.
“we’re not dorks, Trohman. We can see if CD is not working or broken or whatever. This one is absolutely normal”, I said.
“Songs aren’t normal there”, Dasha added.
Trohman was silent and looking at the screen being concentrated.
“Is it alright?” I asked sitting down next to him. “Check my USB, please. I’m worrying”.
He entered my Flash. Everything was alright. He began checking his files. I put my arm around him.
“Joe, I’m sorry, but it’s not our blame. It’s Simpson and her songs”, I said with a soothing voice.
“what’s wrong with her songs for you?” I heard Pete’s voice.
“Joe and me are discontent about that fact her songs can damage our computer”, I answered him.
“why you’re protecting her songs? You like to listen to such pop stupidity? I thought, may be, Green Day is for your fav music”, Dasha said to Pete.
We laughed.
“And why you’re asking about only her songs? What’s wrong with her at all is obvious to everybody? If not, well, I can say. She has fake long nose, abnormally white unnatural teeth, fake fixed and dyed for 1000th time hair and have a boob job. And it can be not all of her fakes”, I said.
Dasha, Pat and Andy chuckled shyly, Trohman smirked loudly and Pete just had nothing to reply.
Trohman didn’t gave us his laptop again that day. That’s why Dasha and me spent time roaming at backstage.
******************************************************************************
So, we came to Las Cruces, NM. This time we stayed in a hotel for a night. Dasha and me asked a separate room, of course. Boys pretended they were against that taking apart, but with a laugh let us go. Dasha and me went to our room carrying our bags.
“why did we ask another room?” Dasha asked.
“I dunno. Just to sleep with 5 men in one room of fucking smelling hotel is not for what I agreed to touring”, I replied.
“I thought it was clear that Pete and I would have one room. But he asked. And being with boys. I had to refuse”, Dasha said.
“and Trohman even asked about and suggested me nothing! So I’m going now being very happy!” I said with an anger.
“why did Pete not insist? Why he didn’t try to convince?” Dasha asked more herself, not me.
“what the trash Trohman conceived of? We’re friends! As if he thinks he’s a good friend. Friend…he’s an asshole”, I said.
“I’m just idiot. Why I refused?” Dasha sighed.
“you’re lucky. You were offered intimacy or whatever. I won’t expected this from Trohman. Ever”, I said with a sadness and envy.
“why Pete insisted so weakly? He doesn’t like me?” Dasha said.
“No!!! He likes you. By what part of my body I can adore Trohman is the question”, I became thoughtful.
“Trohman is not a problem. But Pete…Everything’s so odd, so obscure. What does he think about me?” Dasha said.
“only good”, I replied. “unless Trohman. Whatever he says now, it sure as hell he can’t forgive me that time in Moscow I didn’t let him in and laughed at that he could give a wonderful love night. So what? I’m ready to let him in now! But he won’t come to me for it. ‘cause we’re friends’, I said.
“at least you have some certainty. And who’s Pete for me? what does he want from me? does he want at all? When I didn’t like him, he wanted and was very persistent. And now when I agree for everything, there’s no obvious initiative from his side”, Dasha said.
“Certainty! Fuck such certainty! Initiative! Trohman was initiative one time behind a door and being drunken! What we’re talking about at all?! They’re impotencies! What was worth for him to take us in their own rooms? They could place their hands on our waists and lead to their bedrooms”, I said.
“oh, don’t tell so. I’m ready to cry. I’m imagining what would be and it’d be just cool. I don’t wanna sleep alone! I want to be with Pete! But he doesn’t. may be let’s go to them and just offer ourselves?” Dasha was about to go crazy.
“no, we won’t go. I can say at once they’ll refuse from our services even if we go to them naked”, I replied firmly.
“I just can’t understand this everything”, Dasha sighed.
“yeah, it’s all just difficult”.
“it’s just a facts”.
“Sad ones”.
“very”.
“yeah”.
We went silent.