Don't Blame Me for Being Me
Don't Blame Me For Being Me
Chapter 36
We can make all our dreams come true If you... (Some nights it gets so bad that I almost pick up myself)
For four days we go along boring, tiresome and endless localities somewhere in New Mexico. There are open-air shows, some fests and pile of other bands. Yeah, it’s just awesome. But the fucking annoying thing is my hair as much as Dasha’s one haven’t seen water and shampoo almost for a week. It’s because of that the bathroom in our bus is broken. Trohman thinks Dasha or me broke it but it’s false, of course. So I owed Pat’s cap and made a tail to hide my dirty hair. Dasha began wearing a wide hair band and a tail too. When weather is cold we wear hoodies and look like last junkies. All these shows guys take part in seem to us non-stop. Boys (and we, of course) don’t stop for a night or just for a rest anywhere. Dasha and me almost don’t go out of our tour bus because of our ugly look. For what? To show how much horrible we look? but one day we went out and met Mr.Ross and Mr.Urie. Shame for our heads! We were so hideous, so dirty, so fucking terrible and they look so FRESH!!! They were into 100 times prettier than us. And yesterday we saw them but with two girls. Brendon has acquired a bad taste for girls, I must say. Those girls looked like hoes and were just freaks. So after that Dasha and me became more persistent asking boys to find any fucking shower. Anywhere. even in the middle of an empty field. I dunno how they can live without a shower for so long…
******************************************************************
Fuck, it’s just wonderful. I don’t know what’s a place it was, but there was a shower. Some cabins for all of bands and staff which were scheduled to have a gig that night. That was all what organizators could provide. So, it’s obvious that there was a long queue in front of that shower. It appeared very soon, of course. Dasha and me were successful in taking a place there and were standing not so far from the first people. After it Dasha went to bring our stuff – shampoo, soap, towels, clothes for changing, creams, scrubs, sponges, shavers and many other things. And I stayed to stand. Our boys had said to us before they had decided not to take a shower, but to have a normal dinner ‘cause these two events would be at almost the same time. They feared to be late if they choose the shower. It had caused Dasha and me to surprise again. So Dasha returned with all necessary stuff and we kept waiting. We were between some two men who was seemed to us to be from Avenged Sevenfold, and just some unknown people (men like women and women like men). Way to the front was slow though after an hour we were, may be, tenth. Then we saw Trohman coming to us with some defective sandwich. We thought that sandwich was fallen on a ground not one time. And as we guessed it was aimed for us.
“It’s for us?” I asked pointing at the sandwich after Joe came up.
“it’s all I could take away”, Trohman replied.
“So much, Joe. I even have nothing to say”, Dasha joked.
“Don’t worry. Boys will take something else. You’ll have a breakfast later. I carried it for your better standing here”, he said.
And then “the queue” started a great noise. People began asking “what the fuck?! Why the fuck he (Joe) is standing here? Don’t jump the queue! It’s not your turn! Get outta here! Go to the end!” and something like this else.
“I’ve taken after these girls!” Joe yelled as a reply
“Don’t talk a shit! Go to the fucking end!” he was answered as well.
But we approved what Joe said and almost with a fight altogether got into that building with 6 showers. We took three cabins in a line, so we could speak with each other. Joe even sang some songs to us. As that place was not just separate shower cabin but almost for all to see, Dasha and me had to stay in our underwear. Technically, everybody did it there. Of course, Trohman didn’t take any clothes or even a soap. And it’s for sure he owed our one. Then he became more cheeky and asked me to wash his back. Certainly I went to his cabin! Me, Joe, underwear, one compact shower…one of my fav fantasies… So I washed him, he did the same too. Then Dasha came to us carrying creams and scrubs. We smeared his face with them. Running around those three cabins we attached attention of M.Shadows. We met and smeared his face too. Of course we gave him our contacts (tour bus of FOB). He promised to come. Trohman refused to shave his legs (Dasha and me suggested) sending us off very far. But Dasha and me did it to ourselves and I felt myself a human. Even a girl, I don’t fear to say it. Not a hairy man. Trohman preferred to feel himself a hairy man further. It’s absolutely his right.
After washing and changing clothes, we went out and returned into our bus. The rest of guys were there. Dasha and me crashed onto a couch. Trohman took a seat too. We three sighed loudly with satisfaction.
“why Joe and you smell the identical?” Pete asked.
“with something woman’s”, Pat added.
“why you’re silent, Joe? How was your washing?” Andy asked.
“it was”, Joe replied unhurriedly.
Dasha and me began laughing.
“hey, talk to us!” Pete asked.
“what to talk? We washed Trohman. Don’t you see? He’s a pink, fresh, smells nice. No, I’ll sleep with him tonight”, I replied.
“me and girls were in one shower”, Joe said.
“I don’t believe you”, Pete rejected.
“we three and M.Shadows”, Dasha added.
“yeah, imagine something else!” Pat didn’t believe too.
“It’s true”, Dasha yelled.
“yeah, we sacrificed many things to see clean Trohman and naked M.Shadows”, I joked.
“and you were just eating”, Dasha said.
“Jerks”, I added.
“girls rubbed my face by scrub. I’m pretty now”, Joe said stroking his cheek.
“Err, you’re faggy now, not pretty”, Andy smirked.
“Pretty faggy”, Pete added giggling.
“you’re pretty faggy!” Joe snapped.
Dasha and me were laughing at them all.
“who wants to be such pretty as Joe (sounds so unfamiliar, doesn’t it?), come to agree to Dasha and me”, I announced.
“we’ll keep a notebook, write you. One time in a shower with us costs 100$”, Dasha said.
“no, 200$. Trohman had it free like the first. And M.Shadows too. By the way we wait for him tonight. He promised to come”, I said.
“he won’t come”, Pete yelled.
“he’ll come to me”, Joe said.
“and you’ll have a date tonight”, Pat ended.
“and it’ll be due to us. It means payment for our work”, Dasha said.
“for the acquaintance”, I added. “Trohman, you’re our advertisement”.
“oh, give me a rest”, Joe sighed.
“well, okay. Where’s our food? Joe said you’d steal something for us”, I said.
They gave us a package with two apples, two cakes and some juice. We began eating and boys could convince Trohman to go to sound check or whatever.
We can make all our dreams come true If you... (Some nights it gets so bad that I almost pick up myself)
For four days we go along boring, tiresome and endless localities somewhere in New Mexico. There are open-air shows, some fests and pile of other bands. Yeah, it’s just awesome. But the fucking annoying thing is my hair as much as Dasha’s one haven’t seen water and shampoo almost for a week. It’s because of that the bathroom in our bus is broken. Trohman thinks Dasha or me broke it but it’s false, of course. So I owed Pat’s cap and made a tail to hide my dirty hair. Dasha began wearing a wide hair band and a tail too. When weather is cold we wear hoodies and look like last junkies. All these shows guys take part in seem to us non-stop. Boys (and we, of course) don’t stop for a night or just for a rest anywhere. Dasha and me almost don’t go out of our tour bus because of our ugly look. For what? To show how much horrible we look? but one day we went out and met Mr.Ross and Mr.Urie. Shame for our heads! We were so hideous, so dirty, so fucking terrible and they look so FRESH!!! They were into 100 times prettier than us. And yesterday we saw them but with two girls. Brendon has acquired a bad taste for girls, I must say. Those girls looked like hoes and were just freaks. So after that Dasha and me became more persistent asking boys to find any fucking shower. Anywhere. even in the middle of an empty field. I dunno how they can live without a shower for so long…
******************************************************************
Fuck, it’s just wonderful. I don’t know what’s a place it was, but there was a shower. Some cabins for all of bands and staff which were scheduled to have a gig that night. That was all what organizators could provide. So, it’s obvious that there was a long queue in front of that shower. It appeared very soon, of course. Dasha and me were successful in taking a place there and were standing not so far from the first people. After it Dasha went to bring our stuff – shampoo, soap, towels, clothes for changing, creams, scrubs, sponges, shavers and many other things. And I stayed to stand. Our boys had said to us before they had decided not to take a shower, but to have a normal dinner ‘cause these two events would be at almost the same time. They feared to be late if they choose the shower. It had caused Dasha and me to surprise again. So Dasha returned with all necessary stuff and we kept waiting. We were between some two men who was seemed to us to be from Avenged Sevenfold, and just some unknown people (men like women and women like men). Way to the front was slow though after an hour we were, may be, tenth. Then we saw Trohman coming to us with some defective sandwich. We thought that sandwich was fallen on a ground not one time. And as we guessed it was aimed for us.
“It’s for us?” I asked pointing at the sandwich after Joe came up.
“it’s all I could take away”, Trohman replied.
“So much, Joe. I even have nothing to say”, Dasha joked.
“Don’t worry. Boys will take something else. You’ll have a breakfast later. I carried it for your better standing here”, he said.
And then “the queue” started a great noise. People began asking “what the fuck?! Why the fuck he (Joe) is standing here? Don’t jump the queue! It’s not your turn! Get outta here! Go to the end!” and something like this else.
“I’ve taken after these girls!” Joe yelled as a reply
“Don’t talk a shit! Go to the fucking end!” he was answered as well.
But we approved what Joe said and almost with a fight altogether got into that building with 6 showers. We took three cabins in a line, so we could speak with each other. Joe even sang some songs to us. As that place was not just separate shower cabin but almost for all to see, Dasha and me had to stay in our underwear. Technically, everybody did it there. Of course, Trohman didn’t take any clothes or even a soap. And it’s for sure he owed our one. Then he became more cheeky and asked me to wash his back. Certainly I went to his cabin! Me, Joe, underwear, one compact shower…one of my fav fantasies… So I washed him, he did the same too. Then Dasha came to us carrying creams and scrubs. We smeared his face with them. Running around those three cabins we attached attention of M.Shadows. We met and smeared his face too. Of course we gave him our contacts (tour bus of FOB). He promised to come. Trohman refused to shave his legs (Dasha and me suggested) sending us off very far. But Dasha and me did it to ourselves and I felt myself a human. Even a girl, I don’t fear to say it. Not a hairy man. Trohman preferred to feel himself a hairy man further. It’s absolutely his right.
After washing and changing clothes, we went out and returned into our bus. The rest of guys were there. Dasha and me crashed onto a couch. Trohman took a seat too. We three sighed loudly with satisfaction.
“why Joe and you smell the identical?” Pete asked.
“with something woman’s”, Pat added.
“why you’re silent, Joe? How was your washing?” Andy asked.
“it was”, Joe replied unhurriedly.
Dasha and me began laughing.
“hey, talk to us!” Pete asked.
“what to talk? We washed Trohman. Don’t you see? He’s a pink, fresh, smells nice. No, I’ll sleep with him tonight”, I replied.
“me and girls were in one shower”, Joe said.
“I don’t believe you”, Pete rejected.
“we three and M.Shadows”, Dasha added.
“yeah, imagine something else!” Pat didn’t believe too.
“It’s true”, Dasha yelled.
“yeah, we sacrificed many things to see clean Trohman and naked M.Shadows”, I joked.
“and you were just eating”, Dasha said.
“Jerks”, I added.
“girls rubbed my face by scrub. I’m pretty now”, Joe said stroking his cheek.
“Err, you’re faggy now, not pretty”, Andy smirked.
“Pretty faggy”, Pete added giggling.
“you’re pretty faggy!” Joe snapped.
Dasha and me were laughing at them all.
“who wants to be such pretty as Joe (sounds so unfamiliar, doesn’t it?), come to agree to Dasha and me”, I announced.
“we’ll keep a notebook, write you. One time in a shower with us costs 100$”, Dasha said.
“no, 200$. Trohman had it free like the first. And M.Shadows too. By the way we wait for him tonight. He promised to come”, I said.
“he won’t come”, Pete yelled.
“he’ll come to me”, Joe said.
“and you’ll have a date tonight”, Pat ended.
“and it’ll be due to us. It means payment for our work”, Dasha said.
“for the acquaintance”, I added. “Trohman, you’re our advertisement”.
“oh, give me a rest”, Joe sighed.
“well, okay. Where’s our food? Joe said you’d steal something for us”, I said.
They gave us a package with two apples, two cakes and some juice. We began eating and boys could convince Trohman to go to sound check or whatever.