Don't Blame Me for Being Me

Chapter 51
I'll be your safe ride home when you call me I'll be everything and more when you call my name (but there’s only my voice calling someone at nights…)
Next city. Colombia, Georgia.
Fall Out Boy is on stage making a show xD. Dasha and me are backstage talking and watching people. Again we were the object of attention from a side of some awful hard core kids. We could beat off of them successfully xD. Other dudes didn’t show they wanted to speak with us, but sure WE wanted a company. And after some time we saw Bob Bryar walking near…xD. We didn’t know him well and decided to correct such a mistake xD. So he spoke with us with a great pleasure. Dasha immediately asked if he had a girlfriend.
“Is it a question or suggestion?” Bob asked smiling mischievously.
“It’s suggestion, but in a shape of question”, Dasha replied.
“Let’s talk about it later, after the show, okay?” he said.
“Wow, you’re inviting me somewhere?” Dasha asked.
“I already did”, Bob took Dasha’s hand gently.
I coughed.
“People, dudes, what’s about me?” I asked.
“No prob. See you two later, okay?” Bob said.
We nodded our heads with a joy. Then our corner and in particular, Bob, was lightened by chance.
“Oh, my God, Robert!” Dasha said. “I didn’t notice before how handsome man you are! I say it impartially and dispassionately!”
Bob laughed, waved his hand to us and joined his band which was already walking to the stage. I saw Frank and waved my hand to him greeting. But he was deep in his thoughts and didn’t notice me. Gerard did and waved his hand back to me. I smiled being a little confused. Then our boys came back from the stage and walked to us.
“Wanna drink, Joe? I have water”, I said to Trohman.
“Alcohol?” he asked smiling kindly.
“No. Just water”, I replied giving him a bottle with a tender smile.
Everybody could see our relationships get better xD. We treat to each other with a great tender xD.
“I saw Ray. Are you alright?” Pete asked Dasha wrapping his arm around her waist.
“You mean if he showed his love to me another time? No, he just passed by. If you mean my mental state, so yeah, I’m not alright after seeing him another time”, Dasha replied with a slight smile.
“I can see you’re sitting here not in vain? Got an appointment already?” Trohman asked smirking.
“I even know with whom”, Andy added.
“What you know? What ya know?” I asked.
Boys laughed.
“If you hint at Spence, so I must say I don’t speak with him after that case, you know. He’s a pig”, Dasha said.
“What Spence! I’m about Frank Iero. He’s your common fucker, vodka mate and who the hell know what else!” Andy said.
Dasha and me just opened our mouths having no clue what to reply. I felt our cheeks turned red to a color of tomatoes.
“Hey, man! Are you crazy?” Pete asked.
“Yeah, Andy, you don’t think you overstate?” Joe asked.
It could lead Dasha and me out from our stunned state but we didn’t protest too passionately.
“Why you say this? Why the hell you think so?” Pete asked Andy.
“What is more interesting for you – about fucker or vodka mate? What facts I need to tell first?” he replied.
“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Dasha and me yelled. “What facts? There’re no facts!” Dasha said.
“We’ve seen him only two times. Calm down your sick mind, Andy!”, I said.
“It’s not… Fuck you. You all are in a big lie! Just know it”, he said so and walked away.
“Boys, what was happened to him? He hit his head?” Dasha asked.
“I dunno. May be”, Pat smiled.
“yeah, it’s really strange for him”, Pete said.
Dasha and me just hoped by all our hearts that boys soon would forget this accident. As for me I had intention to talk to Andy seriously, to ask why he thinks he has a right to shout from the house-tops about his wild fantasies and thoughts. Wrong thoughts.
“Joe”, I appealed to Trohman. “What you’ll do tonight?”
“Well, what I should do?” he asked back.
“Something for me”, I replied.
“I can make origami. Or you’d like to get some kite?” he joked.
Dasha and Patrick bursted out laughing and Pete even bent down guffawing. However Trohman looked serious and this couldn’t glad me.
“I mean, you can spend the evening with me, dumbass”, I said.
“I’ll think. You two will be sitting here? Will you find a way back?” Joe said.
“I’ll find the way to you anytime”, I replied.
“We’ll be here for a while”, Dasha said.
“Hope to see you soon”, Pete kissed Dasha.
“I’ll return when Trohman will make origami to me. You can help him, by the way”, I said.
Boys laughed and went away. Dasha and me found out that we both wanna talk to Andy seriously. Dasha was indignant that Andy talks this shit in front of Pete and who knows may be straightly to Pete. Of course, she was worrying. I was discontent that Andy puts me to shame in front of Trohman. But to be honestly, I always put myself to shame in front of Trohman and got used to it xD. But why strange man must do it if I can do it myself and when I wanna xD. After a little chat where we shared these our worries, we saw Andy. We quickly rushed to him and stopped him. So we explained him why it’s impossible and just unpleasant to behave himself the way he does it xD. Not that we threatened him, just told with respect and calmness we’re not sluts and not bitchy liars. That’s actually true, so… He kinda understood us, but I don’t think his attitude to us changed dramatically. Even after we explained everything. I mean we told him sincerely, like to native father, how we spent time with MCR and Frank in particular. Can you say we had behaved ourselves wrong then, at parties with MCR? Sure, no. I can’t understand what we did to get such Andy’s treatment to us. Well, we set him free with promise not to bitch about this Iero topic everywhere and with everybody. He asked for a promise from our side too. Dasha and me promised not to put boys (Joe and Pete, I think, Andy meant them xD) to shame. So we all went apart in absolute peace xD. Dasha and me returned to our places and began waiting for Bob. After some time we saw MCR began walking off from the stage. The way to exit was by us. After accident with Andy, Dasha and me decided that to be marked with MCR another time is not too good thing. But we couldn’t refuse to spend time with Bob. So we pretended we were busy and couldn’t greet them. Dasha pretended she was talking over her mobile. I was kinda seeking something in my handbag and was trying not to look at guys. That’s all was in order not to let them stop near us xD. ‘cause of Andy… I could know guys were passing us by. After some moments I heard Frank’s voice next to me.
“We’re not invisible. As much as you”, he said.
I faced him and beckoned to move closer.
“Sorry…Just hanging with you becomes suspicious to some people. That’s why you should just pass us by with no unneeded questions”, I explained and smiled.
He looked at me as if I was crazy. I made a face kinda “Believe me” and “I’ll explain you later” and he walked ahead being surprised. Step by step guys left backstage. Bob, of course, stopped near us.
“Your plans didn’t change?” he asked.
“How they could?” I smiled.
“Then what do you think about having a…”, he looked at his watches. “a late supper somewhere?” Bob suggested.
“Positive”, Dasha replied for me and her.
*******************
Sure, Bob needed to change his clothes. Dasha and me patiently waited for him near the hotel he’d stayed. Sure, we didn’t forget to say to him before he walked in that he shouldn’t tell the rest of boys he’d go with us. As for us, we called Pete and said we’d be with Spence. Of course, right before it, we let Spence know it. And it was totally nothing that Panic At The Disco was in another city and even in another state xD. But no matter. Spence must keep it as a secret. As much as that fact we’re not with him.
He promised he’d be silent. Well, Dasha and me expected for Bob. He came to us looking fresh and smelling sweet xD. We all got into taxi and drove to some restaurant which has some tables outside the building. And we decided to sit there, outside. There was beautiful, not cold and nice music with pretty well beer. So we settled down, ordered the beer and began talking. First minutes we were just giving compliments to each other xD, but then the chat slowly passed to talking about problems in tour and another private life shit. Somehow Dasha and me found out Bob has a long-time girlfriend called Nicole. Dasha pretended she as offended and moved away from Bob.
“What’s wrong?” Bob asked her.
I laughed.
“Everything!” Dasha answered. “You’re liar, Bob. You lied to me saying you’re free. And I believed you. And you just lied. It ain’t to be this way. I wanted to trust you”, Dasha said with a voice that made me laugh – it was so dramatic and puppy xD.
“I didn’t lie. How I could? I just replied nothing”, Bob tried to excuse himself.
“It’s the worst you could do, Robert”, Dasha interrupted him. “You asked if it was question or suggestion. It was suggestion. And you accepted it. And what now?” Dasha said.
“I feel so sorry now”, Bob said.
I think he decided to keep her game and play it too.
“I thought it was a joke”, Bob said. “I thought… Wentz… But if it’s necessary, I’m yours forever”.
“As if I need you to be ours now very much”, Dasha shrugged off.
“Well, are you two satisfied now? Joked enough?” I laughed. “Sure, Bob, you’re ours tonight, forever and ever”, I added.
The accident xD was ended and we already were drinking the beer. The evening was amazing. Bob was amazing. The weather was amazing. Everything… It was for sure Bob liked us xD. Dasha and me surrounded him by our tenderness and care. To be serious, our conversation was pretty smart and interesting. There was allowed to dance in that restaurant and we danced, of course. After returning to our seats, we all together began smoking. In some minutes Dasha pulled out her mobile from a pocket with words “Pete’s calling”. I moved closer to know what he needed and to control process of Dasha’s replying. Well, she picked up. I must confess I felt so good after that much beer we drank. I decided to joke. I leaned to Dasha’s mobile and not loud, with necessary intonation kinda moaned “Bob! You’re the best! Oh, baby, yeah, it feels soo good! Oh, Bob!” looking at Bob and curbing myself from laughing. But Bob was guffawing. I ended and joined him in that. We were laughing hysterically while Dasha was asking us to stop.
“Haha, it’s Ira and Spence are kidding, Pete”, she said.
Bob and me were really kidding keeping on that joke. After some seconds Dasha pressed the mobile to herself and appealed to us.
“He’s demanding to talk with Spencer”, she said.
Dasha and me immediately looked at Bob.
“No problem, I’ll be him”, he said and took the mobile.
Dasha and me was listening to what he was telling Pete with a great attention.
“Yeah, it’s me, Pete. Yeah, everything’s alright. They’re with me. Yeah, sure”, Bob said and hung up. “Don’t worry, girls”, he said to us.
We sighed with a relief and went on our spending time. Then we decided that beer isn’t serious for our age and status xD. We ordered a bottle of tequila. The world around us became funnier and more beautiful xD. Space around us became more polysided and it felt like 4th dimension got opened xD. After being in the restaurant for some more time, we left it. We piled up in back seat of taxi and began driving to our hotel. Bob was between me and Dasha. We liked to tickle him and he liked to kiss our cheeks xD. After reaching the hotel Dasha and me said bye to Bob hearty and agreed to meet again. He drove away to the hotel he and the band had stayed. Dasha and me stood for a while outside and smoked a cigarette. Then we came in and took our key. Elevator lifted us to our floor. We went out and walked to a door of our room. While Dasha was trying to open the door, I glanced at a door of neighbor room. It was FOB’s. I thought about Trohman.
“Joe’s here”, I said and rushed to that door.
Dasha followed me. I bent to keyhole and called Trohman.
“Why do you need him now?” Dasha asked me.
“I need”, I replied and appealed to the keyhole xD. “Trohman, open the door. What are doing? Origami? Fuck it. I don’t need it. I need you. I want you”.
There was an absolute hush behind the door.
“Trohman, open the door”, Dasha said loudly and punched the door.
“I know you’re not sleeping. Open, please. I need you so much, Joe. Tell me, do you have feelings to me? I have. So much. You know what. Open the door. I wanna be with you. Tonight too. Remember Moscow? Oh, if I could know…”, I told.
“Trohman, stop mocking at Ira! Open the door! Boys, can you hear me? Help this bastard!” Dasha said.
“Trohman, you’re real bastard. Move your ass from a bed and open this fucking door!” I yelled. “Please…”, I pleaded. “I do love you, dumbass”, I added.
“Ira, stop disgracing yourself. Get up and let’s go to our room. Fuck him”, Dasha pulled me.
I got up and we walked to our room. It seemed to me we passed one more door…Strangely…But key came into perfectly. We got in, undressed and fell asleep.