The Pros and Cons of Loving

Part 19

Eric’s POV

I was sitting in Aiden’s room and doing nothing, worried out of my mind, when the door opened. Apparently Aiden and Frank had gotten into a huge fight and Aiden had stormed off. Gerard had gone everywhere looking but didn’t find him anywhere.

I let out a relieved sigh when he walked in and jumped up. “Aiden, baby… what happened?”

He sat on the bed, pulled me down by him and began pulling his t-shirt off. I had no clue what he was doing and my eyebrow arched.

“Aiden what on Ear… oh my god…” I gasped and tears filled my eyes. “Aiden…”

He took a deep breath. “I haven’t been able to eat right since the hospital… and I didn’t want to worry you but now it’s… it’s gotten bad.”

“I… love you.” I whispered, looking at his thin stomach. “A… you… you should have told me.”

“We were split up and you were… yeah.”

I reached out and gently touched his stomach, shaking my head. “You have to get better… you have to eat. I’m cooking you food right now.”

“I’m not hungry. Can’t you see that? I can’t eat.”

“You’re gonna fucking eat!” I said, tears filling my eyes again. I stormed downstairs, half crying. Frank was in the kitchen. I began looking in the cabinets, trying not to sob hysterically.

“Did he tell you?” Frank asked me quietly.

“I need to cook.” I choked out.

I felt his arms wrap around me and I began to cry.

“H-he needs to eat.” I sobbed. “Let me cook.”

“Listen, Eric… you can’t freak out over this. That doesn’t help anybo—Aiden…”

I looked up. Aiden was standing in the door way, buttoning his shirt. He looked exhausted, pale, sick. I couldn’t describe it. How had I not noticed he was in this bad of shape? He just looked unhealthy. I was an idiot, a fucking idiot. I would never forgive myself for this.

“You have to eat.” I said slowly.

“It won’t work. Do you think I haven’t tried that?” Frank whispered.

I was prepared to get angry or sigh in defeat but Aiden shocked me by sitting at the kitchen table and nodding.

“I’ll make something.” Frank said, also nodding. He was smiling, looking very relieved. He mouthed ‘thank you’ at me, but I felt like this was my fault.

I went over to Aiden and sat next to him, taking his hand. I put it in my lap. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He said, eyes on Frank who had finished a grilled cheese sandwich. He cut it for Aiden, made him a drink, and brought the cup and plate over to the table.

“Here, babe. Try and eat.” He ruffled Aiden’s hair.

Aiden nodded and bit into the sandwich…

Aiden’s POV
3 hours later…

“I’m gonna be sick.” I moaned suddenly, running for the bathroom. Eric and I had been in my room laying down when I got the sudden urge to puke.

“Aiden!” I heard Eric call, coming after me.

I threw myself onto the floor and threw up into the toilet. I felt Eric begin rubbing my back.

“Oh fuck…” I moaned, throwing up some more. Throwing up and fighting with Eric were my two least favorite things in the entire world.

“Its okay… just get it out.” Eric whispered, kissing my cheek.

I nodded and threw up some more, before sitting up straight and taking deep breaths.

“It’s okay. I’m gonna help you up.” Eric stood up and held out his hands. I took them and he heaved me up, and then led me from the room.

Dad ran out into the hall from his bedroom. “What’s going on?”

“He threw up.” Eric explained, holding me up.

“Maybe you just ate too quickly.”

I tried to focus on Dad, who I knew was right in front of me, but the room had begun to spin. I felt sick, as if I had to throw up again. I gagged, feeling as if I couldn’t breathe. This wasn’t right; I wasn’t right.

“Aiden!” Dad shouted as everything went black…

Frank’s POV

“GERARD! Gerard, get the fuck in here!” I shouted, catching Aiden as he began to fall. Eric reached out as well and we laid him down gently.

Gerard ran out of our bedroom— we’d both been asleep but I’d woken up when Eric had called out after Aiden.— and looked around. When his eyes fell on me and Eric crouched over an unconscious Aiden he gasped and kneeled down as well.

“He isn’t waking up… Eric, go start the car. Gee, help me get him to the back seat. He’s shaking like mad.”

“What are we—.”

“I don’t care if he’s just passed out. He shouldn’t be shaking like this!” I interrupted Gerard. “It’s gone on too long…we need help and whether or not you’re going, I am taking him to the hospital. This isn’t right.”

“He’s going to be so pissed off.” Was Gerard’s response as he bent down to help me get Aiden to the car…

In The Car…
Gerard’s POV

Aiden was still shaking fifteen minutes later when we were in the car, on our way to the nearest hospital. I was in the floor and Aiden was lying across the backseat. Eric had fit in as well and both of us were trying to wake him up.

“He’s shaking worse, Frankie…” I said, worried.

“We’re almost there.” Frank assured me.

“Wake up, Aiden… wake up…”

His eye twitched. I felt a twinge of relief. He began to whimper quietly, his hand feeling around like mad.

“C’mon Aiden, wake up for me. Open your eyes… Aiden, come on.”

His eyes fluttered open and he looked around, apparently disoriented.

“Aiden, are you okay?” Eric asked, leaning over him and taking his hand.

Aiden just moaned and closed his eyes, continuing to shake.

A Few Hours Later…
Eric’s POV

“What’s gonna happen is they’re going to put him on a feeding tube for a week but he can come home… They want him to eat with the feeding tube. I think they’re trying to train him to eat again or something.” Frank explained to me after he and Gerard had gone back to speak with the doctor.

“Why couldn’t I be back there for that?” I asked.

“Aiden lashed out at a doctor and they want as few people in there as possible right now. He’ll be done soon though. He’s getting the tube in now and Gee’s with him.”

I was sitting in the bright hospital waiting room in one of the hard and cold plastic blue chairs, my knees pulled to my chest. Frank sat by me.

“I uhm… I need to…” I began, but trailed off. I stood up and made my way towards the bathroom. It was a hideous green color. I hated it. I walked over to the sink and splashed water on my face, sighing. I couldn’t believe I was in the hospital for Aiden again. And again, I caused it.

I was going to be different. I wouldn’t hurt him anymore… I love him and all I did was hurt him.

I looked at myself in the mirror and sniffled quietly, praying Aiden would be okay. I knew he would be eventually. Soon we would be over all of this; it would only be a distant memory. Soon we’d be like before and none of this shit would matter. I kept telling myself that, over and over.

The door opened and some old man came in.

“Hello there.” He said.

“…hi.” I said, wondering why some random old man was talking to me in a bathroom.

“Alright there?”

“… uhm, yeah.” I nodded. “I’ve gotta go now.”

He nodded.

I arched my eyebrow as I pushed open the door and left. “Friendly men in bathrooms are weird.” I muttered to Frank as I sat down.

“The fat guy in the green plaid shirt?”

“Yeah.” I nodded.

“He was pretty creepy.” Frank nodded.

We sat in an awkward silence, just kinda glancing at each other every now and then. It seemed like forever before the door opened and Gerard helped Aiden out. He had a feeding tube and Gerard was holding the thing attached to it. Like I know what it’s called, I’m only seventeen years old.

All I could think of was how it was going to get better now. Aiden smiled at me. He looked a little bit better already; not by much. He was less pale and he wasn’t leaning on Gerard for support, it was more of Gerard supporting him anyway.

“We’re all set to go. I’ll sign him out and you two can get him to the car. I’ll tell you guys everything there.” Gerard said. “Eric, wanna help him out?”

“Dad, I’m fine.” Aiden said. It took me a few minutes to find out why this was strange. He usually called Gerard ‘Daddy’. Had they fought or something?

Aiden was probably just shaken up after having another feeding tube shoved down his nose. Yeah, he’d made a commitment to getting better. He still couldn’t have appreciated that too much anyway.

“I wanna help, Aiden.” I whispered, coming up. “Please?”

He nodded and leaned on me. Gerard handed me the machine type thing or whatever the hell it was—like I said, I’m 17 not a doctor— and I looked at him. “Do you want my jacket?” I asked, noticing his short sleeve shirt he’d been wearing when he’d passed out.

“No.” He shook his head.

I set the thing down anyway—the cord was pretty long—and pulled my jacket off. “It’s pretty thin but it’ll keep you warmer than nothing.” I whispered.

“I’m okay.”

“Listen, you’ve babied me enough. It’s my turn now.” I said quietly, helping him into the jacket.

“You’ll be cold.”

“I’ll be fine. C’mon.” I led him out of the hospital. Luckily we parked nearby so we didn’t have to walk to far. It was dark outside, but lights throughout the parking lot helped me to see where I was going. “How so you feel?”

He shivered. “Cold.”

“Yeah.” I rubbed his arm. “We’re almost there.”

“I love you.” He said, his teeth chattering.

“I love you too, Aiden.” I kissed him gently. When I pulled away his eyes were closed. “I’m gonna love you forever, you know?”

He smiled at me as we reached the car. He was shivering from the cold as I helped him in. “I know.”