Who Can Really Blame You?

I’m sitting on the bus, one stop from my destination, with an old man eyeing me. I ignore him and look out the window and see Talia and Tayler waiting on the side of the road with a boy I don’t recognize. I sigh and roll my eyes, and stand as the bus stops.

“I almost got raped getting here,” I say, mid-hug with the twins.

“Ooh, by who?” Talia asks excitedly.

“Old guy,” I state and watch the bus roll away.

“Speaking of old guys,” Tayler exclaims, “This is Dan, our new best friend.”

He looks at me awkwardly, and I roll my eyes.

“I’m sorry if they gave you an idea or something, but I’m not looking for anyone.” I explain. He nods slowly.

“We were serious; he’s our new friend, not your future ass buddy.” Talia erupts in laughter.

“Fuck you guys,” I state, turning red.

“But you are looking for someone!” Tayler points out.

“No I’m not,” I state, “because I’ve found him. We just have no future together is all.”

“Sigh, you’re boring.” Talia says, “Did you bring money? I’m hungry.”

“Yes I did, and I don’t care,” I say, “I need some music.”

“You need this, I need that,” she rants, “Just feed me!”

“Do you talk?” I ask Dan, who looks up startled to me.

He shrugs as we approach the music store, Consequence X, which is an odd name for a music store. The owner bought it and named it when he was an alcoholic, so maybe that’s why the name sucks such ass.

“He’s on a vow of silence,” Talia whispers.

“Really?” I ask him. He shrugs again.

“Isn’t it the shit?” Tayler asks.

“Sure,” I mutter, “Now, let’s go do something. I didn’t come all the way down here to listen to you guys talk nonsense.”

“Yes you did, Jacobs,” Talia says, using my last name and smiling widely.

“Let’s just go to Consequence X, okay?” Tayler says, “A certain someone is known to haunt it.”

By a certain someone, he means Mr. Gorgeous Junior. I scowl at him and follow them down the street littered with mopeds and bicycles and small clothing stores that charge too much money for hand made screen printed tee-shirts. Load of crap, if you ask me. We finally arrive in Consequence X, which my dad’s friend owns, and I head right for the local shelf.

“These guys blow some major balls,” I say, handing the CD to Talia, “You might like them.”

“You mean, you might like them,” she says, shoving it back into my hands.

“Touché,” I reply, smiling, and continue to search. She laughs at this.

“He’s here,” Tayler says in my ear like that blond girl that got eaten by the TV or whatever.

“Fuck you,” I reply in the same tone of voice. I don’t look up, but I feel my face redden.

“Aw, blushing! Talia! Ainsley’s blushing again!” Tayler exclaims.

“I would love it if you wouldn’t scream,” I mumble, continuing to look through
CD’s as Talia makes a loud “AWWWWW!” sound. I want to throw something at her, but the owner always gets mad. So I don’t.

“I would love it if you bought me some food!” Talia says, suddenly next to me. I cover my face with my hands when I realize Mr. Gorgeous Senior is only two isles away.

“You know what? I’m going to buy you a bag of dog food and pour it into a blender with cottage cheese and cover your bed with it,” I mumble, picking up a CD, and nodding.

“Don’t you think that’s a bit complicated for revenge?” she mutters, sulking off.

I take the CD with me as I continue looking around at albums. I bump into Dan, and apologize. He shrugs.

“Is your name even Dan?” I ask suddenly. He shakes his head no. I smile. “They made it up, huh?” I ask. He nods. “Is it even close?” I continue. He smiles, and shakes his head. “Well, you’ll just have to tell me your real name when we come across a pen and paper, huh?” I ask. He nods, and takes the CD from my hands to look at it. “Ever heard of them?” I ask.

He nods, and points to the lead singer on the front.

“You know him?” I ask, glancing at the picture. He smiles and nods. “Friend?” I ask. He shakes his head no. “Enemy?” I ask. No, and a bonus eye roll. “Relative?” I continue. He nods.

I nod, and continue down the isle, ignoring the twin’s bickering that’s easily heard over the music. “Cousin?” I ask. No. “Closer?” He nods. “Brother?” I ask, surprised. He nods.

“Wow, that’s kick ass,” I smile, “Can you sing too?”

He shrugs.

“Duh, my bad, how long have you not been speaking?” I ask. He holds up five fingers. “Five days? Weeks? Months?” I keep guessing. He nods on months. I whistle. “I talk too much for that, but that’s amazing.” I say, smiling. He smiles back.

“Ainsley! Did you hear that?!” Talia calls over. I look up, and see Mr. Gorgeous Junior grimace at her volume.

“Hear what, Talia?” I ask, sighing, “And please shut up.”

“My stomach, that’s what! It’s deafening. Buy your crappy CD, since you only buy one at a time anyways, and take me to the organic store so I can get some Mac and Fucking Cheese.”

“Talia!” I exclaim, “You will be fed sometime today. Now shut up!”

“A guarantee—that’s all I wanted!” she huffs. I roll my eyes and Dan and I head up to the register.

“You and your friends gotta stop making scenes in my store,” Hank, the manager/owner tells me. I smile apologetically.

“I’m sorry,” I say, giving him the CD to ring up.

“How’s your dad, Ainsley? I haven’t seen him in meetings for awhile,” Hank asks conversationally, before telling me the total.

“What?” I ask, “He’s at one tonight. He said the day of the week got changed.”

Hank looks at me for a moment. “They don’t change those kinds of meetings around, Ainsley,” he says gently. I don’t move for a moment, before handing him the money, which he pushes back into my hand. “It’s on me kid,” he tells me.

“Please, Hank,” I say, glancing at Dan who leaves, just as Mr. Gorgeous Junior gets in line behind me. “Don’t make me a charity case,” I say quietly.

“Fine, but you’re getting the employee’s discount,” he says. I take that, and shove the money back into his hands. He gives me change, before telling me to tell my dad that he’ll have someone in touch about his absences. “It’s for both of you,” he says, after seeing my expression. I nod, and move so Mr. Gorgeous Junior can pay for his things. He looks straight at me, and I look away.

“Talia! Get off the display!” Hank yells. Talia laughs loudly before falling off the speakers displaying a local band’s merchandise. Her smile falls away when she sees me.

“What?” she asks, as I open the door.

“My dad’s skipping meetings. Again,” I huff, pulling out my phone and dialing his number, “You guys go ahead? I’ll meet you at the market to buy your food.”

I put the receiver to my ear. The twins agree, before attaching themselves to Dan and dragging him up the road. Someone answers the phone.

“Dad?” I ask, leaning against the building.

“Ainsley, why the hell you callin’ me?” he asks. I wince, noticing his slurred speech. I sigh.

“I just talked to Hank,” I say, rubbing my face, “Why are you skipping meetings?”

“You left the house without my permission?” he asks, annoyed.

“You started drinking again, without my permission?” I retort.

I hear him sigh angrily, and I bite my bottom lip and the door opens next to me, Mr. Gorgeous Junior emerging. “How dare you talk to me like tha’! I’m your father!” he growls over the phone. I pull it away from my ear, and stare at my shoes.

“I’m not mad,” I mumble into the phone, “I’m just disappointed. I’ll be home safe tonight. What about you? I’ll go to school tomorrow. Will you even go to work? Do you care if they take me away?” I ask, quieting, as Mr. Gorgeous Junior waits for the bus in front of the store. I feel like everyone can hear me.

“I’m a good father!” my dad says angrily. I sigh and scratch my face.

“Whatever dad,” I mumble into the phone, “I’ll be home before you. See you whenever.”

I hang up before he can reply, and turn to head down the road, only to bump into someone. I squeak, look up, and feel my stomach flip when Mr. Gorgeous Junior is standing in front of me, slightly surprised.

“Sorry,” I mumble, stepping out of his way, and hurrying down the sidewalk after my friends.