Trading Spaces

The drive over to Georg’s was horrible. I sat up front with Gustav, and he is the most reckless driver I’ve ever known. I think he was doing it on purpose, though, just to piss me off. It worked.

Bill was talking about the interview, which I really didn’t care about, and Gustav was just being an asshole in general. He cut in front of seven people – I counted – and almost ran a red light. I had to yell at him when he was going over the speed limit. There’s no way in hell I’m getting a ticket because of this guy.

"Tom, I think if you really tried hard enough, you could drive a little shittier,“ I said sarcastically. I looked over to him with an annoyed expression, but he just grinned.

"I could try,“ he replied.

When we finally arrived at Georg’s place, I was surprised we weren’t dead. I call that an accomplishment. Bill hopped out of my car and walked up to Georg’s door. After only five pounds on his door, he opened, looking tired and angry at the world.

"Hi,“ Bill greeted with a bright smile. "Let’s go.“

"Nice to see you, too.“

Georg stepped outside, locked his door, then followed Bill back to the car. Just before they got here, though, I looked at Gustav and said, "Listen, pretty boy, drive like you just did again, and I will personally see to it that some very unfortunate things happen to your body while I’m still in it. Do you understand me?“

Gustav nodded with a frown.

"Good,“ I said with a smile. With that, Bill opened the door and climbed in on my side, while Georg did the same not two seconds later on Gustav’s.

"Hey, Gustav, hey, Tom,“ he greeted. I smiled at him and nodded. Gustav greeted him similarly, then drove off.

A few minutes of awkward silence in, Bill finally broke it, saying, "So where do we want to go to eat after this?“

"I want to go to Panthera Rodizio,“ I said immediately.

"Now wait just a second,“ Gustav started. "I’m the driver, shouldn’t I get to choose where we go? I wanna go to Bistro Am Fleet.“ My face fell into a large, open-mouthed frown.

"But I said my choice first, so we’re going there!“

"Mmm, no. Who’s the driver? I’m the driver. Who owns the car? I own the car. We’re going to Bistro Am Fleet, thank you,“ he said cockily. I furrowed my eyebrows and glared at him with crossed arms. Bill and Georg looked at one another with puzzled faces, and sunk back into their seats.

The rest of the ride was silent, besides my occasional bursts of frustration whenever Gustav would do something else stupid. I would say it was awkward, but it was so, so much more than just that. It was so thick you would have to use a damn power saw to cut through it.

Once we arrived at the place where we would be interviewed, Georg and Bill jumped out of the car before Gustav was even fully parked. Gustav and I got out after sharing a miniature glaring competition. When we were all out and walking inside, Bill trotted over to Gustav, thinking it was me, and started to have a conversation. I didn’t really care enough to listen. The only difference from when I’m in my own body and now is that I just give automated replies whenever Bill pauses. Still not listening.

"Hey, there you guys are,“ David said, walking over and greeting us. "Ready to do this?“ We all nodded our heads and followed him inside a modernly decorated room. A blond woman was sitting in a chair that faced towards a cream couch, so I assumed she was our interviewer. Damn, she was fine.

"Hi, you must be Tokio Hotel,“ she said once she noticed we were in the room. She got off of her chair and walked over to us, shaking each of our hands. She started to talk again, most likely about what the interview was about, but I wasn’t paying attention. Instead, I was absent mindedly looking around the room, looking at the tech guys and their cameras and shit.

The others all laughed, which snapped me back to reality. They all looked over at me, probably wondering why I wasn’t laughing. For a second I just stared at them with a blank expression. Then I gave out a little chuckle, and the blondie resumed talking. "Okay, so you guys ready?“ she asked.

"Let’s go,“ Bill replied with a stupid grin.

We all sat down on the couch. Georg sat on the far left, I sat next to him, Gustav sat next to me, and Bill sat next to him. I had to make sure I was within punching-range of him. Just in case.

The camera guys did a silent countdown thing, and signaled to us once they started rolling.

"Hi, I’m sitting here with the one and only German band, Tokio Hotel!“ We all did a little wave. "First off, can you tell me what to expect from the new album?“ Of course, Bill was the first to raise his microphone and start blabbering away, just like he always did.

"The album is going to be a little different. It’s going to have a more rock feel to it, but it’s still going to be, um, you know, Tokio Hotel,“ he said, finishing it off with a sweet smile. I saw Gustav start to raise his hand to speak, but before anyone could notice, I discreetly slapped his hip next to where my hand already lay. That stopped him. The bastard...

"Do you guys have a set date on when you plan to release the album?“ Once again, Bill took charge.

"Um, the album release date is set to October 2nd with a single release sometime in August. Along the way, more information will be revealed on Tom’s blog.“

"So Tom’s blog is a new thing added to the site. Can you explain that?“ This time, Gustav caught me by surprise.

"It’s basically me blogging everyday about things I like, like rap, animals, naked ladies, how big my dick is, et cetera, everyday until the album is released,“ he said confidently, giving me a quick side glance. My face was about to fall when I reminded myself that we are being filmed. Instead, I began to talk.

"Oh, Tom. Isn’t he funny? He’s so kind and thoughtful and good-looking. It’s no wonder he has so many woman that love him.“ I felt everyone’s eyes on me. The interviewer was looking at me as if I had a penis on my face.

However, and maybe luckily, a moment later she regained her composure and brushed off the obviously abnormal statement. Instead, she just rolled into the next question.

"So, with the free time you have, what do you do with it?“

"I bang my drums. Day and night. It’s all I do... is bang,“ I said with a stoned expression, my lips turned slightly upright to form a small smile while my eyes were relaxed and sleepy-looking.

"I bang blond chicks,“ Gustav replied, having a very similar expression as mine.

"I... don’t bang anything,“ Bill added with hesitation. He seemed to be discreetly inching away from the rest of us, but maybe that was just me.

"Except me,“ Gustav chirped precisely after Bill spit out that last syllable. Everyone’s eyes went big, and for a moment I thought I might have to shoot him... But then again, I could just fuck with him.

"And me.“ Now it was my turn to be stared at. Everyone turned in their seats to look at me, probably wondering what the hell I was doing.

"What?“ Gustav sputtered.

"Oh, Tom, don’t fool everyone,“ I gushed, rolling my eyes. "Isn’t he just a doll?“

"No, I’m not.“

"Yes you are.“

"No, damn it, I’m not.“ Gustav’s stern look and tone made it obvious that he was getting more than pissed off at my shenanigans. Good. Asshole. Again, I rolled my eyes, but this time, also slapped him on the arm playfully.

"Whatever you say, honey.“ Gustav swatted my hand away. Bill looked like he just witnessed a baby being impaled with a javelin. I couldn’t believe how much fun this was. The best part is that I wasn’t in my own body, I was in Gustav’s! No one could blame me for whatever damage I caused!

"I have no part in this,“ Georg suddenly blurted, stepping in from nowhere, raising his hands in defense.

"Of course not, only the three of us,“ I said in a seductive tone – which, believe it or not, Gustav actually has... surprisingly – whilst animatedly pointing to Bill, Gustav, and I. Bill frowned.

"Um, I don’t know what Gustav is talking about,“ he practically hissed. If he knew it were really me, Tom, he would kill me once we got home... maybe even while the cameras were still rolling, if he were as mad as I hoped.

I gave a mischievous smile, but didn’t say anything. The interviewer grasped the opportunity to continue instantly, rolling into the next question like nothing weird at all happened just now.

"Would you say your music has grown from the release of Schrei to now?“

"Well, Schrei and Zimmer 483 were pretty similar in sound, I’d say. They both had they sort of unique, rock feel. Humanoid will be a little more... jumpy, if that’s the word. It’ll be the perfect music to dance to, yet it will have it’s slower songs, as well,“ Bill answered. Obviously he wasn’t going let me speak this time. I guess the interviewer wasn’t either, seeing as she nodded with a smile and moved on. They’re killing all the fun.

"Who came up with the title?“

"I did, though we all helped with some ideas. We had a few that Tom thought up that we were considering, but in the end, we figured Humanoid would finish the theme of our album perfectly,“ Bill explained, using plenty of subtle hand motions along the way to prove his point.

"Eh, it’s always reminded me of Tron,“ I said flatly.

"What’s Tron?“ Georg asked with one eyebrow raised in confusion. My mouth fell agape.

"Tron! You know, that 80’s Disney movie about the computer program people. C’mon, it’s a classic.“ I dented my eyebrows in frustration for having to explain myself. How could I be the only one who thought of Tron when Bill wore that weird robot costume thing? He looked like an emo version of Tron, seriously.

After an awkward – and rather forced laugh, if you ask me, – the interviewer said, "Thank you for your time with us, boys! Humanoid, to be released in select stores on October 2nd. See you next time.“

After the camera guys signaled the cut, Bill slowly turned his head towards me with the most stern and scary as hell look he’s ever made. His lips were pursed and his eyes were slightly squinted; they were blazing with irritation and anger. My face went blank as I stared back. His face clearly read, ‚I want to talk to you later’. He then quickly turned back to the interviewer, like nothing just happened between us, with his innocent smile and bright eyes again, thanking her for the interview. It sort of scared me, how threatening he could be towards me one minute, then how typical-Bill he could be the next. I’ve never seen him look at me in such a way; it must have been because he knew he couldn’t get away with anything with me.

As soon as we were out of the room, after a quick and formal goodbye and thank you to the crew and hot blond, Bill fucking grabbed my ear and walked me over to the wall, telling Georg and Gustav to continue on without them.

"Gustav... what the hell was that?“ he demanded in a horrifyingly intimidating, stern voice. I shrunk against the wall a little. The inferiority passed in a second, though.

"What do you mean?“ I said with the most innocent tone and face I could possibly muster. Gustav is notoriously childish looking, it wasn’t really that hard.

"You know exactly what I’m talking about! What the hell, man? People are going to think you and Tom are a couple or something!“ I snickered quietly at the thought. "You think it’s funny? You just blew one of the first interviews in forever. Congratulations,“ he muttered, crossing his arms. This was too much, I would have to work hard not to just burst out laughing.

"You’re welcome,“ I replied with a smile. Bill looked at me with impatience and walked past me. Obviously he was pissed. I did good.

I trotted after them, ready to go to Bistro Am Fleet. No, not Panthera Rodizio, where I wanted to go, Bistro Am Fleet, because Gustav is a dick.