You Don't Know A Thing About My Sins

Alicia was pulling me out the door, and I had no idea why. She seemed sad, and I hoped everything was alright. She closed the door to Gerard's room soon after I went through it.

Ok, a sad expression, and shutting the door so he couldn't hear...

...that's a bad sign.

"Mikey, how are you?" she asked me casually. I smiled and leaned against the wall.

"Eh, I'm alright..." I replied, being truthful. She nodded and sighed.

"That's good...listen, I wanted to tell you something, and I don't want to, but it looks like I'm going to need to."

Oh no. "What is it?"

"I think you're spending way too much time with Gerard, I see you like once a week for twenty minutes, and that's still with him..."

"Alicia, he's my brother...I can't just give up on him...he's weak, and he needs me."

"He's a grown man, Mikey. He's sane enough now to know that you have a life, too. You should live it, and I miss the 'you' that lived by that meaning..."

"Well, I've changed...and I don't want to leave my brother behind."

"Mikey, I..." she looked down from my gaze, and in that moment I knew something big was about to happen.

"What?"

"...maybe it's best that we not see each other anymore."

"What? What do you mean? We're seeing each other now, and since we're a couple, we gotta do this sorta...stuff." I trailed off when I realized what she had said. She couldn't have said it clearer, and here I was, not getting the picture. God, I was really was out of it lately.

"Mikey…I understand that you love your brother and all, but I need to at least see and talk to you in order for us to be together...I'm sorry."

"But..." C'mon, Mikey! GET HER BACK! "...let's spend time together now! I'm all for it!"

"Mikey, no...it's not going to last, and I know you can see that."

"Alicia, please..." I begged her, wanting her to change her mind in the worst way. She was such an angel to deal with all the shit I've put her through. I don't want her to give up, DAMMIT!

"Mikey...I can't take the guessing game anymore. I need to leave...I'll see you around."

"ALICIA!" I screamed, but not so loud that Gerard would hear. Alicia was walking down the hall, and despite my countless attempts to call her back into my life...my love...she never looked back.

She walked through those doors and she was gone.

*****

I walked back into Gerard's room after my tears had dried and my eyes weren't so red. He saw my saddened expression, however, and that worried him.

"Mikey, what's wrong? Where's Alicia?" he asked, rubbing my back.

There was no way I was gonna tell him. He would just think that I broke up with her to be with him, and he'd yell at me for throwing away a beautiful relationship that I had with Alicia. No, I won't tell him...at least, not yet. Besides, it'd put pressure on his relationship with Elle, and it might cause him to do the same with her. These girls are too special to be treated that way, so I'm making sure that he doesn't know...it's for everyone's sake.

"Alicia...she had to go meet her parents or something, and she said she was late, so she had to run off suddenly. I was a little sad, because I wanted to spend time with her, but no biggie." I lied, sniffling slightly. Gerard looked at me for a long moment before smiling and pulling me into a warm hug.

"Well, as long as that's it...then let the tears flow!" he joked. I laughed and he did as well, and I returned his warm embrace with my own, happy that when one door closed, another opened, and Gerard was waiting at the other end.