Will You Catch Me If I Fall?

Addison’s POV

His eyes flickered for a moment, catching the hint of resentment that rested heavily in my words. A very soft smile tugged at his mouth “I was coming to see you...I thought you were working today”

I frowned slightly, the sun glaring into my eyes and I turned away from him, beginning to walk and leave him behind me. I heard his quick steps towards me, keeping up

“I swapped shifts, I didn’t feel like working today” My tone was short and sharp, I wasn’t looking at him, but I could sense him wince and somewhere deep inside my rotten heart, I hated myself for it.

I sighed, sick of this, of life...of everything. Trace’s hand came down on my shoulder and spun me around to face him. I stood lazily resting on one hip, faking boredom though every fibre of my fucked up being screamed at me to reach out, brush that dark lock of hair out of his eyes...and kiss him, kiss him with no intention of ever stopping...

“What’s wrong with you?” I heard him ask faintly behind my thoughts.

My mouth locked in a growl and I felt my fists bunch up in anger. What was wrong with me? What the hell did he think was wrong with me?

“Do I look like a whore to you Trace?” Because even though I have done some pretty fucked up shit, I will not be treated like one...we’re friends, but that doesn’t mean you get a free ride whenever you feel like it” I preferred not to think about Frank-E...he was a special occasion.

Trace’s sigh was heavy and laced with regret perhaps. He ran an awkward hand through his straight hair, causing it to stick up slightly “I’m sorry Addison...I meant to call...”

I huffed and I saw sparks of anger rush into his eyes and he scowled “Listen Addison, you know I care for you. You know how much you mean to me, don’t stand there and pretend I’ve treated you badly...because, hell you will never find a guy that will treat you the way I do...”
He was walking towards me slowly, and I backed into the wall, looking away, suddenly ashamed of attacking him

“Maybe I’ve had things going on in my life Addison. Did you ever think of that? I do have a life besides you...”

Okay, that one hurt...

I pushed him away roughly and he stumbled, his eyes relaxing slightly; and I turned on him, my hair static around my head “I’m sorry Trace...but you slept with me, I deserved a fucking text message...anything besides silence. I needed anything...to know you cared...” my voice broke and my shoulders slumped.

All I needed to know was that he cared. That someone cared...

My eyes had filled with tears again and I felt his soft large hands on my shoulders, rubbing soothing circles on my skin. I allowed my head to rest on his chest, as I heaved dry sobs, my tears not falling, I didn’t want them to fall...

“I’m sorry” he murmured into my ear, his breath deliciously sweet against my ear “I won’t hurt you again...I’m sorry”

I let out the smallest of sighs; his arms were wrapped around me, my head resting on his shoulder. He was rocking me slightly, like a baby needing to be comforted.

“Let me take you out on Friday” he whispered “Me and you, it’s your birthday...”

I made a face. I’d forgotten about my birthday. I preferred to forget the fact I was celebrating birthdays, when Stephanie would be forever eighteen in memories. I briefly thought back to my eighteenth birthday, I’d spent it with Frank-E, both of us lamenting about our past lives over several bottles of strong Russian vodka. I couldn’t remember half of the evening, but I woke up the next day with a very bad headache, naked. What would this year bring?

“My birthday...” I whispered “I don’t want to celebrate it...”

Trace frowned at me “Why not?”

I just shrugged. I didn’t want Trace to know about Stephanie...I wasn’t ready to tell, and he wasn’t ready to hear the sorry excuse for my behaviour. He didn’t need to know, he was better off not knowing.

“Let me bring you out anyway babe...”

I grimaced...I really couldn’t say no to those ocean eyes “Okay”

~

Friday came quickly. I got ready at Frank-E’s place. I hadn’t been home in a while and I wasn’t really planning on starting now. My parents didn’t want to celebrate my birthday anymore than I did. Besides, I had enough clothes hiding in Frank-E’s mangy place to last me a lifetime.

“Have fun” he called as I left “use protection”

I flipped him off, smiling and quickly walked to the meeting place where Trace would be picking me up. It was dark already, and the stars were out. I looked up and one moment a strange giddy feeling came over me. It was my birthday...I should be happy.

I trained my eye on one particular star that seemed to be shining more brightly than the others “Steph?” I whispered...my soft words catching the breeze, and they drifted up towards her. She was with me today, wishing me a happy birthday. Stephanie was with me. My Stephanie, my big sister.

She twinkled back at me and I almost reached up a hand to wave

“Addison...?”

I jumped, looking at Trace who was leaning, almost inconspicuous, against the wall. He was dressed in his trademark black jeans with a simple white t-shirt. He looked amazing; his dark ocean eyes were concealed by dark glasses, veiling him with an air of mystery.

My breath caught for a moment “Hey Trace”, my voice was soft, as if I were still talking to my sister.

He smiled, and took my hand “Come on...”

He led me to the beach, where I had spent many days with Frank-E, Trace and Mason, old friends, new friends, my parents and Steph. These dunes were full of memories, some bad, others good

“What are we doing here Trace?”

Trace smiled and then shrugged off the rucksack he was carrying, pulling out a blanket and laying it over the soft sand. He pulled me down onto it and Iaughed, my sound quiet against the noise of the ocean waves.

He handed me a box of Oreos, and pulled out a bottle of wine, which I swigged at immediately. Trace was blushing slightly “I’m no cook”

I laughed again “I don’t need to eat...it’s alright”

We stayed for hours, talking and laughing...it was us again and then he pulled out a strange flat object, wrapped in birthday paper.

“Happy Birthday” he whispered, his mouth inches from mine, his eyes locked on my own

My mouth tugged down. I’d told him no celebrating but I opened the present nevertheless. I pulled out a strange laminated card, a rope attached to it as if to put around my neck.

I read the letters on the card “VIP”

I furrowed my brows, confused and looked at Trace for some explanation. He was ready with one.

“We’re going away on Tuesday Addison...I can’t leave you. I would have given you this even if it wasn’t your birthday...”

“What are you trying to say Trace?”

Trace smiled “I want you to come with us, on our tour. Simara’s with Mason...we have room now that Blake’s gone” his eyes blazed with anger for a moment, reliving how his friend and bandmate had walked out on him “Come with us...please”

I hesitated; did I really want to do this? I had addictions, needs that needed to be filled. He’d see me for what I was...he would get tired of me. I was going to fall eventually, and no-body could save me...maybe if I let Trace go alone and I was no longer here to come back to, he’d be better off.

He saw the reluctance in my face, maybe he noticed the fear lingering in my eyes and he pressed his lips against my own in a tender, possessive kiss. When he parted from me, I wished he hadn’t...

“Okay...I’ll go”