The Way I Loved You

Chapter 4:

Planning a funeral, was harder then I would have ever imagined it to be. Cassie didn't want to be anywhere near me after I broke the news she was going to have to move back with me to the small two bedroom apartment I shared with Sarah. So I was alone in planning.

Ben was calling daily, trying to get me to agree that he fly down to be with me, but I refused him everytime. West Chester was the one place I didn't want him.

April tried her best to help me but I was too aggrivated with myself for bottling up my emotions to accept her help.

Finally, the day arrived where we would burry my mother. I had decided to skip on the wake and just went right through with the funeral. Everyone could pay their repects there. I was glad Scott's family had wanted to burry him back in Kentucky where he had come from. Less funeral details I would need to cover, plus I was glad he was finally dead.

The church ceremony seemed to drag on while I just stared at the rose covered coffin in front of me. One thought constantly running through my head: my mother's in there.

Once it was over, I made my way outside and got hugs from a few people that had known me and my mother while I had lived here.

'Honey, I was thinking you and Cass could come back to our house for dinner?' April asked.

'That'd be nice Ape. Thanks.' I said smiling at her.

She gave me a quick hug and whispered that she'd see me there and walked to the car hand in hand with Phil.

I looked around for Cassie and saw her talking to a few of her friends.

'Cass.' I called making her look over. 'Margera's for dinner. Let's go.'

She nodded her head and I made my way to my car and climbed in. I leaned forward and placed my head on the steering wheel. I sighed heavily and hoped the tears would come. But they didn't. My phone began to ring and I sat up and grabbed in out of my purse.

'Hello?'

'You okay?' I looked to my left to see Bam looking at me through his Hummer window. I hadn't even realized we were parked next to each other.

'Yeah thanks. Just stressed.' I half lying. I wasn't going to admit I hadn't cried over my mother's death yet to him of all people.

'Alright. I'll see you at the house.' He said hanging up and throwing his car in reverse.

A moment later Cassie climbed in and we had a silent drive from the church to Ape and Phil's.

'You can at least talk to me.' I said as we pulled onto their street.

'I don't want to.' She crossed her arms and looked away from me as we pulled in.

'Whatever Cass.' I said sighing and shutting off the engine. We both climbed out of the car and walked in through the garage.

'Oh good. You girls made it.' April said popping whatever bird she had prepared into the oven.

Eating dinner was an awkward expirence. No one seemed to want to talk so April began.

'So, Cassie, are you excited to move in with your sister?'

'No.'

'Why not? I'm sure you're going to love it.' April said.

'I don't want to live there.' Cassie said no directing this conversation towards me.

'What do you want me to do Cass?' I asked shrugging. 'You're too young to stay here by yourself.'

'How about you shed a tear over mom instead of being an uptight bitch?' Cassie asked.

That was it. She had finally broke down my wall before I could even get there. I felt the tears well up and I got up from the table and made my way out onto the back porch before anyone saw me fully crying.

I sat down on the backsteps and let them fall.

The back door opened and someone stepped outside. I didn't turn around though, I just stared at Bam's mini ramp. The person slowly walked towards me and sat down.

As soon as he sat, I knew it was Bam. The special sent that was Bam brought me back to when we were fifteen and head over heels for each other.

'Come here, Ri.' He said grabbing my shoulder and pulling me into his body. I burried my face into his chest and cried. He ran his fingers over my hair in an attempt to calm me down. I always thought he gave the best hugs in the world and I was glad to find they had only gotten better.

'She's right. I am uptight.' I cried pulling back from him and looking into his eyes.

'No you're not.' He said whiping my tears away. 'You're just dealing with the pain in your own way. You always hide your feelings until the last minute like a dumbass.'

I giggled a little through my tears knowing he was completely right.

'I just can't believe she's gone.' I said.

'I know. Me either. But, you got Ape still. And she's a mother to everybody.' He said smirking.

'You know Bam, you're right.' I said smiling.

'I have an idea.' He said grining as he stood up.

'What?' I asked laughing.

'Let's go do something.'

'Like what? It's eight at night. Nothings open.' I said laughing more.

'I'm sure we can go find something to do.' He said holding his hands out to help me up. 'Come on. For old time's sake.'

I giggled and took his hands allowing him to pull me up. 'Fine. But only because I totally missed sneaking out with you at night.'

He smiled and pulled me towards the driveway. He opened the door of a blue Audi S4 for me.

'Thank you.' I smirked as he shut it and ran around to the drivers side. 'Don't you think we should tell them we're leaving?'

'Nah, where's the fun in that?' He smiled as he backed out and drove off towards town.

'Is that a tattoo?' I asked noticing a black heart on his right wrist.

'Yeah.' He said giggling a bit and showing me. 'You like it?'

'Yes actually.'

'I got this one too.' He said lifting up his shirt to reveal a design that was similar to a t-shirt he had been wearing the other day.

'Please tell me that doesn't go down your dick.' I said noticing it went into his pants.

'Nah.' He said laughing. 'Like half an inch not even.'

'Where did you come up with that?'

'Ville has it.'

'Who's Ville.'

'That's right! I haven't showed you the greatest band in the world yet.' He smirked throwing a pink CD case at me and turning his radio on.