Boys and Girls. Love and Heartbreak. You're In The Game.
Phoebe Davies’ Point Of View. Part Two.
..::Phoebe Davies’ Point Of View::..
I’ve been alone for a while now, the doctors and nurses left me alone about 10 minutes ago, well that’s just a guess. They said I’m in a coma, and not sure if I’ll ever pull out of it, I know I want to, I really want to, it’s just there’s a piece of me that wont let me. I can hear everything anyone say’s but they don’t know if I can or can’t. I think that’s what’s killing me so much, not being able to tell people I’m okay and hearing their pain.
After a while I suddenly hear the door open slightly with a click and someone walked in. I wanted to so badly open my eyes and see who it was but again my body let me down and wouldn’t let me. I heard a chair move closer to the bed I was in and someone say down in it, they took my hand in theirs and I instantly knew who it was. My Frankie. Well not My Frankie, he’s Holly’s Frankie, oh how I wished he was mine. There was a silence for a few moments but he finally spoke up.
“Hey Pheeb’s” He said in the quietist whisper he could possibly muster. “I hope you can hear me, It’s me Frankie. Just come to see you I guess.” There was another silence. Oh how I hated the silence. I always felt like I was doing something wrong when there was a silence but this silence was different, this silence was deafening me, I wanted to badly to just speak to him, but my body wasn’t listening to my head it ignored it’s plea’s and carried on not moving. He gripped my hand tighter. “Come on Pheeb’s, your going to be fine yeah, your going to wake up soon and we can talk things through, get everything fixed, yeah? Make it all okay again… please” I could hear his voice cracking, I could hear how hurt he was, I could practically feel his heart breaking in my own heart. It was killing me. I feel so helpless I just want to get up and hug him, telling him I’m okay and I’ll be back and we’ll fix it all, I just couldn’t move. In my head I was kicking and screaming but nothing seemed to come out. “oh Phoebe…Why? Please just answer me that, that’s all I want to know, why you did it. It’s not the fact that you did it, it’s the fact that you wont or can’t tell me why, I’m your best friend Pheeb’s, nothing you do or say will ever make me leave you. Please wake up, come on, for yourself, you the guys, for me. I miss you so much.” he paused for a moment but carried on ”You know when I had you in my arms, and you collapsed, My whole world fell apart. Did you know that? That you’re my whole world. Nothing means more to me then you. I’ve known you my whole life and you’re a part of me. You always will be. Please don’t leave me, I don’t think I’d survive. Please, come on, do it for me.” My heart broke. Shattered. I felt so evil and selfish. I had no idea how much I would have hurt anyone. You know people say there’s a moment in everyone’s life when they want to tell someone the deepest, most powerful emotions you have and you cant, or your afraid to, well I just got that. I would give anything to just have some kind of contact with him right now. In my head I was crying, but my body wouldn’t allow me to show it. The person who I admire and adore the most just poured his heart out and I can’t even show him I care. I feel like such a childish, self centred bitch and deserve to die, but if I was to die I don’t think I’d be able to carry on to wherever you go, knowing I caused so much pain to someone I love so much.
I felt some drips on my hand and felt him wipe them off and kiss my hand, I wanted to so badly to just wake up and tell him everything. I hate not being able to. “Come on love, visiting hours are over now, I’m sure she’ll be fine until the next time you can come in, she’s a fighter, if she wanted to go she would have already, you got a strong one there” said a female voice from across the room. I felt Frank’s grip get slightly tighter, knowing he didn’t want to go. I heard the door then click shut again.
I heard Frank sigh deeply, and breath in deeply. Then as if he knew all along what I’d die to hear him say, he spoke the words I had longed so long to hear. “I love you” he stated simply. He kissed my forehead and I wished so hard that I could move or talk or anything. I heard the chair pull away slightly, my heart sank slightly, I didn’t want him to go. I need him with me. After a few moments of silence I heard the door click open and then almost instantly click shut again.
My heart was leaping yet breaking at the same time. Here I was lying in a bed not being able to move when the guy who I admire the most told me the words I have so longed to hear for so many years now, and I can do nothing about it. I hate myself. Why am I so stupid? Why am I so selfish? I need to be able to see him again. I cant spend the rest of my life lying in this bed when I have a reason to live only a few, well probably quite more than a few metres away now but still, he’s the reason I need to be alive. I hate the fact that I’ve hurt him, I let my petty jealousy get the better of me and I ruined myself and caused so much pain, more than I ever suspected would have happened. I need to wake up. I have to wake up. I focused all my strength into moving. I need this to happen. I need to be able to move again. Its killing me not. I focused on moving my hand, thinking only about that and how much I need to. Suddenly a feeling came back. Like as if a book was on my hand and it was taken off. I heard a click from across the room and I knew it was someone walking into my room, maybe a nurse, maybe a doctor, they will see the movement even if slight, they will see it. I concentrated even more on moving my arm.
“DOCTOR! DOCTOR SHE’S MOVING!”
I’ve been alone for a while now, the doctors and nurses left me alone about 10 minutes ago, well that’s just a guess. They said I’m in a coma, and not sure if I’ll ever pull out of it, I know I want to, I really want to, it’s just there’s a piece of me that wont let me. I can hear everything anyone say’s but they don’t know if I can or can’t. I think that’s what’s killing me so much, not being able to tell people I’m okay and hearing their pain.
After a while I suddenly hear the door open slightly with a click and someone walked in. I wanted to so badly open my eyes and see who it was but again my body let me down and wouldn’t let me. I heard a chair move closer to the bed I was in and someone say down in it, they took my hand in theirs and I instantly knew who it was. My Frankie. Well not My Frankie, he’s Holly’s Frankie, oh how I wished he was mine. There was a silence for a few moments but he finally spoke up.
“Hey Pheeb’s” He said in the quietist whisper he could possibly muster. “I hope you can hear me, It’s me Frankie. Just come to see you I guess.” There was another silence. Oh how I hated the silence. I always felt like I was doing something wrong when there was a silence but this silence was different, this silence was deafening me, I wanted to badly to just speak to him, but my body wasn’t listening to my head it ignored it’s plea’s and carried on not moving. He gripped my hand tighter. “Come on Pheeb’s, your going to be fine yeah, your going to wake up soon and we can talk things through, get everything fixed, yeah? Make it all okay again… please” I could hear his voice cracking, I could hear how hurt he was, I could practically feel his heart breaking in my own heart. It was killing me. I feel so helpless I just want to get up and hug him, telling him I’m okay and I’ll be back and we’ll fix it all, I just couldn’t move. In my head I was kicking and screaming but nothing seemed to come out. “oh Phoebe…Why? Please just answer me that, that’s all I want to know, why you did it. It’s not the fact that you did it, it’s the fact that you wont or can’t tell me why, I’m your best friend Pheeb’s, nothing you do or say will ever make me leave you. Please wake up, come on, for yourself, you the guys, for me. I miss you so much.” he paused for a moment but carried on ”You know when I had you in my arms, and you collapsed, My whole world fell apart. Did you know that? That you’re my whole world. Nothing means more to me then you. I’ve known you my whole life and you’re a part of me. You always will be. Please don’t leave me, I don’t think I’d survive. Please, come on, do it for me.” My heart broke. Shattered. I felt so evil and selfish. I had no idea how much I would have hurt anyone. You know people say there’s a moment in everyone’s life when they want to tell someone the deepest, most powerful emotions you have and you cant, or your afraid to, well I just got that. I would give anything to just have some kind of contact with him right now. In my head I was crying, but my body wouldn’t allow me to show it. The person who I admire and adore the most just poured his heart out and I can’t even show him I care. I feel like such a childish, self centred bitch and deserve to die, but if I was to die I don’t think I’d be able to carry on to wherever you go, knowing I caused so much pain to someone I love so much.
I felt some drips on my hand and felt him wipe them off and kiss my hand, I wanted to so badly to just wake up and tell him everything. I hate not being able to. “Come on love, visiting hours are over now, I’m sure she’ll be fine until the next time you can come in, she’s a fighter, if she wanted to go she would have already, you got a strong one there” said a female voice from across the room. I felt Frank’s grip get slightly tighter, knowing he didn’t want to go. I heard the door then click shut again.
I heard Frank sigh deeply, and breath in deeply. Then as if he knew all along what I’d die to hear him say, he spoke the words I had longed so long to hear. “I love you” he stated simply. He kissed my forehead and I wished so hard that I could move or talk or anything. I heard the chair pull away slightly, my heart sank slightly, I didn’t want him to go. I need him with me. After a few moments of silence I heard the door click open and then almost instantly click shut again.
My heart was leaping yet breaking at the same time. Here I was lying in a bed not being able to move when the guy who I admire the most told me the words I have so longed to hear for so many years now, and I can do nothing about it. I hate myself. Why am I so stupid? Why am I so selfish? I need to be able to see him again. I cant spend the rest of my life lying in this bed when I have a reason to live only a few, well probably quite more than a few metres away now but still, he’s the reason I need to be alive. I hate the fact that I’ve hurt him, I let my petty jealousy get the better of me and I ruined myself and caused so much pain, more than I ever suspected would have happened. I need to wake up. I have to wake up. I focused all my strength into moving. I need this to happen. I need to be able to move again. Its killing me not. I focused on moving my hand, thinking only about that and how much I need to. Suddenly a feeling came back. Like as if a book was on my hand and it was taken off. I heard a click from across the room and I knew it was someone walking into my room, maybe a nurse, maybe a doctor, they will see the movement even if slight, they will see it. I concentrated even more on moving my arm.
“DOCTOR! DOCTOR SHE’S MOVING!”