Harder Than You Know

Nightmare’s POV:

I woke up with one of the worst hangovers ever. I felt like I drank the entire bar. I groaned and looked at Gerard sleeping peacefully next to me. I wanted to cry. He stayed by my drunk ass all night. Then it hit me. Max was there. Why would he stay while I drank? I don’t remember him drinking that much. I felt like such an ass. I slowly made my way out of the bunk. I didn’t mean to wake Gerard up.

“Sugar what are you doing?”

“I’m just trying not to wake you. Go back to sleep. I’m just getting something to settle my stomach.”

“I’ll come with you.” He said flinging his legs over the side of the bunk.

The bus was moving. I slapped my hand to my head.

“Oh fuck me!” I sighed deeply.

“It’s ok. Mikey filled in for you and Max did the new song. Patrick is fine with it. I already talked to him.”

I know Gerard was just trying to help so why did that piss me off so bad?

“Yeah well that’s not your job now is it?” I really didn’t mean it to sound so snappy.

“Damn it woman! I’ve told you how sorry I am I don’t know how many fucking times. Nightmare what do you want me to do? Do you want me to leave?”

I felt the sting of his words. “If you want to just go then!” I sat roughly on the seat. “No wait! Gerard I’m sorry baby. I didn’t mean that. Please don’t leave me. I just…I’m just…please Gee…don’t leave.”

He came and pulled me into his arms. “I won’t. I love you Nightmare.”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. “I love you Gerard I really do. I’ll get through this. Just be patient please.”

He agreed. I went to get dressed. My head was still pounding when I heard my phone go off. Dear God singing thru my phone. I love Avenged Sevenfold. “What?” I said into it.

“Well good morning to you too. Just thought I would check on the world’s second best bass player…so how are you?”Max laughed into the phone.

“Who’s the first?”

“Me! Who else? So how’s the head?”

“I feel like you hit me with your fucking bass! So how goes things with Cody? Thanks for helping Mikey out. I really appreciate that. I guess I owe you a few.”

“Naw Nightmare that is what friends are for right? I don’t know. I was going to ask if maybe you and Gerard would go out with us when we pull in for the night. You can bring Frank and Vengeance too.”

“Sure. That sounds like a plan…just don’t let me drink ok. I’m sorry about last night by the way. Thanks for taking care of me.”

“Anytime Nightmare. See you around seven then.”

Gerard walked up behind me placing his arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder. “Who was that? You ditching me for some other dude?”

I laughed. “No babe. It was Max. Let Frank know that he and Vengeance are busy tonight. We are all going out with Max and Cody. I promise. No getting drunk.”

He laughed. “Good. I have no idea how the hell you did that for me all those years. I felt like shit seeing you that sick.”

Before I could answer my phone started again. “What!”

“Just wanted to make sure my bass player was still breathing. I hope you have it out of your system. The fans want you not Mikey and Max. Nightmare this has to stop.”

“Yeah I know Patty Cakes. If it makes you feel any better, I feel like shit and don’t plan on doing that again.”

“Good. I’m pleased to hear that.”

We hung up and I groaned into Gerard’s chest. “Was I that bad?”

“Yeah sugar, you were really messed up last night.”

I sighed. I knew it was bad but I didn’t know how bad being as I had no memories of last night at all.

Gerard and I slept off and on the rest of the day. When the bus came to a final stop at yet another venue I rolled over and headed to change and ready myself for the night. Gerard was ready in no time. Frank and Vengeance were still changing when we headed over to the ETF bus. Cody was walking up and we met her at the door.

“So any idea’s where the hell we are going?” Cody smiled.

“Who knows with Max? Fucker knows every place to go in every single town so far. I guess he has a plan.”

Yes he did. When Frank and Vengeance got there we headed out in one of the good old white vans. Patrick yelled at us to not let me drink. Like I was going to do that again. The van came to a sudden stop in front of a small Jazz Bar. We all climbed out and went in. It was dark and Smokey in there but very nice all the same. We found a table near the rear. The waitress took our orders. Gerard and I were drinking sodas. Before long we were all laughing and having a ball. There was a pool table near where we were sitting so we started having couples matches. Before long it started getting heated in a fun way. We looked up at the bar and saw Craig standing there with a very nice looking brunet.

Max shouted out to him. “Craig, dude come on over.”

Craig looked at all of us and back to his date. They spoke for a minute and made their way over. He looked at us and introduced us. “Guys this is Lex…she is the singer of No Ordinary Hero’s…Lex this is…” He pointed to each of us saying our names.

After the night was just about over we had all decided that she was perfect for Craig. She was now one of us. Her band would be coming on the rest of the tour with us. We only had two months left. Gerard and I were the first ones to leave. Since we were not too far from the venue we decided to walk back. Well that and the fact we were sober.

We had just gotten back into the venues gates when we heard yelling coming from next to our bus. It sounded like Mikey.

“I told you to leave! Lyn-z you need to leave them be! Gerard’s happy and fucking sober now.” Mikey sounded mad.

“I told you I want him back! Bitch is nothing but a drunken whore! She was making out with Max at the damn bar Mikey. She cheated on your brother! You want him with a bitch that will break his heart? Well do you?”

Gerard looked at me and then to Mikey and Lyn-z. “What are you talking about?”

Lyn-z smirked. “I’m talking about your bitch Nightmare. Gerard she was out with Max Green last night.”

“I know Lyn-z. She was upset. He stayed to take care of her.”

“Oh so that’s what you call it now? Gerard they were damn near fucking on the god damned dance floor!”

My eyes went wide. Why couldn’t I remember what happened last night? Did I really do that? Gerard looked at me.

“Gee I have no idea what happened last night…I was really trashed…I…don’t…I don’t remember anything.” I burst out in tears and ran into our bus. I heard Lyn-z continue.

“Gerard she is making an ass out of you. I saw her! She was all over him. His arms were all over her. Hell he had her over his shoulder and they were fucking laughing!”

“Lyn-z fuck off! You are just trying to cause trouble. I know how you play this. He was helping watch her. She was hurt and fucking drunk! Hurt because of what I did to her. What we did to her! You fucking killed our baby!”

Gerard’s POV:

I left her standing there and got on the bus looking for Nightmare. “Sugar…are you ok?”

“Gerard…I don’t…know…what…happened. I was so trashed. Gerard…what if I did?” She was sobbing harder than I’ve ever seen her.

“It’s ok…I trust you. I trust Max. It’s going to be ok.” I tried to calm her.

Nightmare gabbed a pillow and headed to the recording area of the bus. “Gerard…I need to be alone. I have to figure out what happened last night.”

I nodded and handed her a blanket. “I’m here. I’ll be right here. I’m not leaving you.” She nodded taking the blanket and leaving me standing there.

Mikey walked in. “Dude. Lyn-z is just a bitch. She is doing this to get you back. Hell we all saw how loaded Nightmare was. Max had to carry her back. She was totally wasted.”

“I know Mikey. Besides if she did do something with him…she was drunk right? I mean it’s my fucking fault anyway. She loves me right? I mean she wouldn’t do anything sober. Would she?”

“Come on bro…you know she loves you and she wouldn’t. Gerard damn it stop thinking like this. She’s so fucking in love with you. Hell she wouldn’t have gotten that drunk if she wasn’t in love with you.”

“Then why does she want to be alone Mikey? Mikey…do you think we will ever get back to that loving place we had? You know the one before I met Lyn-z or should I just let her go?”

“Gerard, I can’t tell you what to do. You have to do what’s in your heart. I think you will. Hell Gerard. I know that you two love each other. I think you need to work this out. She loves you man. You love her.”

My brother was right. I just needed to talk to Max. I needed his side of what happened. I had to know for sure what happened last night. Nightmare needed to know. We had to talk. I called Max’s cell…straight to voicemail. I sighed. “Max…can you call me back or even come to the bus when you get back? I think we need to talk.”

Now I just had to wait for Max.