You Promised

“Welcome home.” Ray said opening the door to my house. And I mean my house, not Gerard’s house.

I’ve only been here once, before I went to visit Vincent and I still haven’t been to every room. Maybe I did, but I don’t remember so it does not count.

I went upstairs to undo my bag while Ray waited for me in the living room. He wanted us to go see Gerard right away but I managed to convince him there was no need to. I just needed some time. Not really, I just wanted to avoid him because I know he’s gonna be mad… I don’t blame him, but still don’t like to see him mad. Actually I don’t like to see him any other way than happy.

I wish I had more clothes to put back in place. Maybe I could undo everything and do it again. No. I need to face him sooner or later and, even though it’s so appealing, later won’t change anything. Not what I did, not what I didn’t.

I took a deep breath, another attempt to delay what I had to do, and walked downstairs.

“Ray, I’m afraid.” I admitted. He looked at me with a curious look.

“Of what?”

“I’m afraid Gerard hates me.” He looked at me softly, almost like he was pitying me but then he said the complete opposite.

“That’s your own fault.” He wasn’t shouting or talking like he was at least a little angry, just like he was stating the obvious, that he was.

“Let’s just go.” I said.

***

“Gerard! Someone’s here to see you!” Ray called into the empty room.

I was able to control my nerves while I was in the car. I almost stopped my hands from shaking and my breathing was somewhat normal, but when we got out and I saw the familiar house the nerves kicked in immediately. I almost begged Ray to let me have a cigarette but he refused a thousand times while he opened the door. Now I’m in his house and I feel like I’m gonna faint.

The moment he came in the room I stopped breathing for a second. I was as if my brain wasn’t letting my lungs receive the air, as if it was trying to choke me, trying to kill me.

He was exactly the same. His pale skin still looked like porcelain and his figure still looked slim. His eyes still looked like precious stones and his lips still hid his little white, child tooth.

He still looked beautiful.

In that moment I could be sure my feelings were also the same, if not stronger.

“Frank?” He gasped. It seemed he was going to say something else but took it back in.

“Hi.” I said shyly looking at Ray for help.

“You two need to talk.” He said and turned to leave. Thanks a lot Ray!

“I’ve got nothing to talk about with him.” Gerard said, making Ray stop on the doorway.

We both looked shocked at him. I got over it pretty fast. I was waiting for this, it wasn’t that much of a surprise.

“Don’t fuck with me, we both know you do.” Ray said sternly, as if he was talking to a child.

“I don’t.” He said crossing his arms. Well, as Gerard’s acting like a child, Ray may as well talk to him like he’s one.

“Whatever Gerard.” Ray said giving him a look that would make me wet myself. “Oh, did you know that Frank here got himself a boyfriend?” I looked at him incredulous, what the hell is that supposed to be? Is he trying to make him hate me even more? It sure doesn’t look like he’s trying to help my cause!

“What?!” Gerard asked uncrossing his arms and letting them fall to his sides. Fall just like his jaw.

“You heard me.” Ray directed him a smile. “You remember Quinn don’t you?”

“Quinn? Quinn?” The first time he said his name he was sounding confused, the second was sounding like he didn’t believe what he had just heard. “Well… Well, I hope he’s as good as Bert used to be.” He said and crossed his arms again.

“You know what?” Ray asked him. He nodded his head at him as if he was superior to everyone in this room. As much as I love him he’s acting like an asshole. “Stop being a child.”