You Promised

I’ve kind of stormed out after Ray told Gerard to grow up. Call me a child or whatever you want but don’t say Gerard wasn’t being one either. What the fuck got into him anyway? And what the fuck got into Ray? Did he really have to talk about Quinn?

It was so much easier when it was just me and Vincent. No Quinn, no Gerard, no Ray. I think I miss him. And how is Quinn? Maybe he’s suffering because of the break up. I’m not so sure if I am. I barely seem to have feelings.

I could feel my phone vibrating in my pocket. It was not the first time and won’t be the last but Ray will eventually give up.

I knew Ray would eventually stop. I just didn’t know he could be so stubborn.

I though he had gave up finally, after 5 minutes without my phone going off but it rang again. I was starting to feel annoyed. I took it out of my pocket feeling ready to turn if off and place it meters away from me when I got a glimpse of the name written on the screen. A name I didn’t even knew I had on my contacts.

Five minutes later I was still looking at the name displayed on my phone, when it stopped ringing.

“I should have picked it up...” I murmured to myself, too annoyed to care enough not to sound crazy. It’s not like anyone was listening anyway.

Some seconds later it rang again. This time I put it to my ear the faster I could.

“What do you want, Gerard?” I was trying to hide the fact that I was happy he called.

“Tell me I’m not a genius and you’ll be lying.”

“Ray?!” I asked incredulous. How could someone be so evil? He led me to believe it was Gerard calling just for me to pick up the phone because I refused to talk to him. I was on my right. It was partially his fault Gerard acted like that. I know Gerard’s already a little dramatic but you don’t need to provoke him even more.

“The one and only, but we need to talk.”

“As you might already know I don’t really wanna talk to you.”

“You know… It’s pretty obvious Gerard still loves you.” He said the last part faster, just in time to stop me from hanging up. As if he could read my mind. Obviously this caught my interest.

“What?”

“That’s all I needed to say.”

“How do you know-?” I heard a click on the other line.

Note so self: Kick Ray’s ass. Hard. No, no, super hard!

Now as about my Bello. My Bello… He’s not mine. Oh, how I wish he was. I don’t really know what I wish. Maybe I do know what I wish; I just don’t know what I wish the most. Maybe it’s Gerard, maybe it’s Quinn, maybe what I really wish the most is to forget all about these two. One way or another, I’m pretty sure none of them shares the same wishes.

I think I’m gonna call Ray. I wanna make sure I heard correctly, and if I did, I wanna know how he does, or does not know.

“So now you wanna talk to me…” He answered.

“What? No hello?”

“I know why you’re calling. I’m not saying anything else about it. Just wait a little bit. Can you do that?” He asked mocking me.

“What do you mean a little bit?” I asked. I heard some noise in the background. “Ray? Ray? Ray! Don’t you fucking dare hang up on me! Ray?! You fucking ass-” My threats didn’t work out because he did exactly what I didn’t want him to do. Hang up.

I groaned.

What did he mean wait a little bit? Was he coming over or something? Well, that way he couldn’t just hang up, though he could just walk out and I probably wouldn’t be able to stop him because, really, I’m short, he’s huge. Who do you think would win?

Five minutes later the bell rang. Just when I was really into this one Simpsons episode. Everything Ray does will always be bad for me. There’s not arguing there.

I got up and walked backwards until the hall so I could watch TV until I really couldn’t anymore. I ran to the door trying to be fast and threw it open.

“Ray-” I was about to shout at him but I noticed someone else.

“Gerard? What are you doing here?”

“Yeah, yeah. Ray made me.” He answered barely looking at me. I looked at Ray and he smiled.

“Can we come in?” Ray asked as if there was nothing special with this visit. What party of the awkwardness printed on my face hasn’t he understood yet?

I nodded anyway.

Ray looked at Gerard; he rolled his eyes and went in. It was as if Ray was making sure Gerard wouldn’t run. That’s how much he wants to talk to me. I can’t blame him though.

“I know it might be hard for you,” Ray started when he got to the living room. “as you love to act like kids constantly, but let’s all sit and talk like adults, what we are even though sometimes I really doubt it.”

“Alright.” Gerard said and sat down, I followed him. Ray was still standing up.

“What?” I asked him “Aren’t you gonna sit down so we can talk like adults, that we are even though you doubt it sometimes?”

“No.” He said simply. I looked at him waiting for an explanation. “You’re the ones that need to talk. I’ll be in the kitchen. Call me if you’re about to kill each other.” He said and left.

Alright, what ever. Let’s talk.

“I’m sorry, you know?”

“I know.” He answered. “But you’re always sorry. You know, the word does wear out.”

“Well, I really am sorry.” I said trying to sound serious.

“Just like you used to be every single morning.” Was his reply.

“What? You think I enjoy knowing I’m a monster?” I asked him seriously feeling outraged.

“No, I don’t think you do but you need to get over it!” He shouted. All the while he wasn’t looking at me but now he did, straight in the eyes.

“If you would let me!” I asked returning the look.

He was quiet. Just like me, he didn’t know what to say.

“Then I guess I’m sorry too.” He said. I refrained myself from telling him just the same thing he told me. I didn’t want to make this whatever-you-call-it worse. “We have tried to forget about it, it seemed the best thing to do, but now let’s face it, it didn’t work.” I nodded. It made it all worse. At least for me. “What now?”

“Can we start by forgiving each other?” I asked showing him a little smile. The best I could manage.

“We can try.” He smiled back.

Next came an awkward silence. We ended up looking at the TV; I was just in time to see the end of the episode I so much didn’t want to leave.

“You always loved this show. I never understood why.” He said.

“I don’t know either.”

I don’t know about you but this conversation that’s only a conversation so we can pretend this isn’t awkward at all is not working at all.

“We both know you want to ask.” I said.

“Then why don’t you spare me the time and start explaining?”

“I can be wrong.” I said just to have the pleasure of hearing him saying it.

“I’m curious about you’re relationship with Quinn.” He admitted.

“It-” I was interrupted by the door bell.

“I’ll go!” I heard Ray shout. We saw him pass outside the living room door.

“Ray?” I recognized the voice.
“Quinn?”

Oh no.