Are You Afraid Of Being Alone?

I was a bit worried. It was September 12, Thursday. Billy called me on the morning saying she had something really important to tell me, we agreed we would meet in the café we went on our first date. Memories of last night flashing in my mind fulled my thoughts

I looked at Billy with hope in my eyes, she was looking gorgeous that night, her black dress making her more seductive than she already is, I was nervous be cause I was about to pretty much confess my love to her, we have been together for a month now, I knew it wasn't that long, but I really couldn't wait any longer to tell her 'I love you', I missed her too, she didn't hung out with me over the weekend be cause she was sick, she wouldn't let me go to visit though.

"Billy, I know we've only been together for a month or so, but" I sighed, she looked at me with a confused expression

"But?" She asked softly, I sighed once again, she smiled at me; letting me know she was listening, and just her face made me say it

"I love you" I said, she stared at me, I thought she would smile or something, but she stared at me with the most shocked expression, like I just told her I had killed someone "And now you say something..." I said to her, she let out a shaky breath and I could see tears in her beautiful hazel eyes, I rushed to her side "Baby, I'm sorry...I-" She looked at me, cutting my sentence

"I love you too, Brian" She said before breaking down in tears, I couldn't understand what was happening...After that I took her home, she didn't said anything more though

-
Billy had her head between her hands, she was breathing heavily, and she didn't said one word since she arrived, and I started to grow worried

"Please Bil...what's wrong? You know you can tell me" I said, looking at her and leaning in to our table, she finally look up, her eyes were puffy and red, obviously from crying, I frowned

"Listen to me Brian" Her voice cracked "What I'm going to tell you is very important and I need you to be mature okay?" I nodded "You have to understand that I never thought I would ever fall in love with you, but I did, hard. And you love me right?" I nodded once again, my heart beating at a unbelievably fast pace. I really was worried "So now I have the need to tell you, please don't be mad, you need to understand that I never wanted pity, and less of you!" She said, letting a few tears run down her cheek

"Billy what are you talking about?"I whispered, she shook her head and she let out a shaky breath, she looked at me

"Brian, I have brain cancer, I was diagnosed two years ago, I did chemotherapy but it didn't worked, last year my doctor said to me that there wasn't much he could do anymore, the cancer was too deep and my body couldn't resist it, the shit is killing me slowly Brian...I'm going to die, soon." By this point she was drowning in tears, I was taking everything she just told me in. I stared at her dumbfounded, she was crying hysterically.

My breath was uneven, I could feel a choke in my throat. She is going to die, her words were running through my mind, I couldn't look at her, and I did the one thing I shouldn't. I stood up and walked away, I heard her call my name softly, but I didn't turned...I just kept on walking, I left my car in the café...I walked until I couldn't. I kneel down and started crying, the thing I was feeling were not your usual depression, I couldn't even breathe, I wanted to scream, rip someone throat, kill myself. And the worst is I left her all alone, I left her.

-
It's been three days since I talked to her, she called me a few times but I didn't answered, and if you ask me, I wouldn't know how to answer why I was being like this, I didn't ate, slept or even shower, I sat in my living room for I don't know how long. I couldn't believe I left her, but I wasn't strong enough to even talk to her, she let me in, she let me loved her, I felt betrayed. But I had no right, the girl I've always dream for was dying, and I was sitting in my living room drowning in my own pity and drinking my troubles away.

I was about to throw up from being so disgusted with myself when I hear a loud knock coming from the door, I looked at it like an idiot, hoping the person would just go away.

"BRIAN FUCKING HANER! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW OTHERWISE BELIEVE ME I'M GOING TO SLICE YOU INTO LITTLE PIECES" The knock was deeper, I flinched, the female voice was familiar, I even thought it was Billy, but she would never yell at me, not even when I just left her...I slowly stood up and opened the door to reveal a red-looking Kelsey, she looked like she was ready to murder someone, and I perfectly knew that someone was me.

She invited herself in, looking at my house, which contained about a gazillion empty bottles of all types of alcohol, she sighed and turned to look at me, she looked calmer. I supposed she warmed up at my pathetic-self.

"Look at me Haner, cause I ain't saying this twice." She said slowly, I looked at the ground

"Look. At. Me" She said through gritting teeth, I did what she asked me too, I admit that little girl scared me.

"Billy has been crying fro days Haner, and it's not good for her! I knew this was going to happen eventually! I knew you weren't good for her, why would you if she's going to die!?" I flinched at her words, she knew "Now you and your smelly ass are going to take a fucking shower and go to her frigging house and apologize, do you hear me? You said you fucking loved her, I should kick your ass for lyi-"

"I'm not lying Kelsey! I love her! I do!" I said defending myself, I couldn't stand the way she was treating me, and saying that I lied to Billy only made me want to punch her

"Then show it, Goddammit!" She yelled, I stared at her "I'm not going anywhere until I know you will. I'm not asking you to stand by her, if you don't want to, don't do it. She has a best friend that will always be there for her, you just need to apologize and officially leave her, so she can die happily" She said, it surprised me that her voice cracked at the end, she truly loved Billy, it made me smile that she had such a good friend, but then again such a useless and fag boyfriend.

I then made a decision. I was going to apologize, yes. And I was going to stand by her side until the last minute, she wasn't going to leave this world without knowing that I'd do anything for her. I didn't care leaving the band, I didn't care if I lose my friends, all that I cared about was Kimberly Coleman, and only her.