You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

I picked up my Wendy's bag from the car floor, grateful my food didn't spill out.

Me and John were now driving home. I wonder what Mrs.O'Callaghans gonna say about why we were gone for so long, I mean its been like an hour and a half since we left the game. Well we did get food.

I popped a fri into my mouth, loving the fucking silence that had taken over the car. I knew my hair was messed up and I smelled like sex.

"I need to take a shower"I mumbled to myself as I continued eating my french fri's that had now become my new favorite food.

"Want me to join you?"John chuckled. I was a little surprised he even said anything to me but I didn't let it show on my face. It made me excited in the inside that he even said anything.

I mean I thought the sex was great, as forward as that seems. Johns just amazing in bed, or the back seat of the car in this sense. As soon as I was getting re-dressed is when the sadness dawned on me. I slept with John and he would act like it never happened from this minute on.

I knew he would considering he didn't say a word to me as we were getting our clothes back on.

"No"I said casually to him as I kept eating and looking straight ahead out the window.

"Oh come on"He laughed

"I'm sorry, but your mom, your brother and his friends would be in the house"I laughed.

"So?We don't have to do anything in the shower."He chuckled as he made a left turn

"I don't care, I would feel uncomfortable with your mom in the house. Besides its rude"

"Like she would know"

"Yes, but I would."

"I fucking hate your little good girl image"he groaned

"Image?"I asked as I chucked a french fri at him.

He rolled his eyes"Do something spontaneous"

"Being in the same shower as you isn't adventurous"I said as I now rolled my eyes.

"For you, yes it is."

"Would it make you happier if I was a grade A slut?"I asked getting a tad mad. I hated it when he called me a good girl.

"Oh, you're already there. I mean your not a grade A slut. But around there"

"WHAT!?"I screamed as I threw my whole bag of food at him.

"Hey! Cut it out, I'm driving!"He said as he chuckled my bag of food behind him into the backseat

"Did you just call me a slut?!"I screamed

"You've slept with me twice now, we aren't dating. And well you've kissed Eric and I don't even know of any other guys."

I started breathing heavy. I wanted to attack him

"Why are you such an asshole?!"I screamed

"Stop fucking yelling. I'm just telling it like it is"

I didn't know what to do. I wanted to murder him.

"Never has a guy called me a slut"I squeaked. Yes I was sensitive. I was on the verge of tears now. But I wasn't going to cry. I was going to save that for when I was alone.

"Really? I mean you seem like a good girl. You know, you don't go out and party,nothing,but when it comes to guys, I would think you would get with all the guys that want a piece of ass from you, and I guess thats a lot of guys" he said casually as he looked straight ahead at the road.

"I don't sleep around!"I said frustrated.

"Really? You've slept with me twice. Do I really need to remind you?"

"I hate you"I said quietly.

"No, you love me" He said in complete seriousness. He didn't even crack a smile to indicate a joke.

He knew I liked him. And he was taking advantage of it.

~~

Ive been locked in my room for the past few hours. I wouldn't even come out for dinner.

Cindy was worried but I kept telling her I was fine. She just begged for me to open my door but I just told her I wanted to be alone.

I did. John did a number on me by calling me a slut. How could he?

The better question is, how does he know I like him? If Nick said anything, I will murder him.

But I knew deep down he didn't. I knew I could trust him.

"Can we talk?"John asked coming into my room. Fuck I forgot we had a joined bathroom so there was another door I should have locked.

"You're the last person I want to talk to"I mumbled as I layed on my bed and just hugged a pillow.

"Look, I'm sorry about what I said earlier."

"I don't care"I said as I hugged my pillow even tighter

"No, Aubrey look, that was wrong. I know that no guy should ever call a girl a slut and I'm sorry."

"Well you still think it"I mumbled

"No, I really don't. Okay look, I just get mad sometimes when guys hit on you. I mean those guys at your school, I don't know if anything had happened between you guys and I just think the worst. I'm sorry"

"Whatever"I said as I buried my face in my pillow.

"Fine"He sighed and I heard him leave my room as my door closed.

What John didn't know was he was forgiven. I mean he said sorry....Even if he probably really didn't mean it...

Yes, I forgive him to fast. I just like him to much. Hes hurt me plenty of times before, and I guess nows not any different.

~~

"Hey Josh"I smiled as I took a seat next to him

"Hey Aubs"He smiled back.

"I'm so tired this morning. I couldn't sleep last night" I yawned. Actually I hadn't slept in three days. All I thought of was John. He occupied my thoughts three fourths of the time. He hadn't spoken to me at all. Not even a hey. He was back to how he always is. Acting like I don't exist. Acting like I'm not standing a few feet away from him. He doesn't even look at me.

"Yeah me either. There was a dorm party."

"Of fun"I smiled.

"Sure."He laughed."You really should live here on campus."

"Maybe I should."I said thinking about it"I mean it would be easier getting here considering I'd be here. But I love living with the O'Callaghans. Most of the time"I said with a light laugh.

"It would be cooler if you lived here. And then that way we could chill more. I'm sure a lot of people would love it if you lived here. You're little miss popular"He laughed

"Oh please"I said jokingly rolling my eyes."A lot of people here hate me" Which was true. I mean I had no girls as friends. Which was pretty sad.

"Who hates you?"He laughed

"Did you not take notice to that I barely have any friends? I have no girls as friends"

"I never said you were popular with the girls"

I just groaned

"What? A lot of guys here just really like you"Josh laughed.

"Don't say that"I said with a sigh. I felt like a slut now. I mean I didn't sleep with any other guys here. The only guy I slept with here in this state was John. But maybe thats why girls didn't like me. Maybe I was known as the class slut.

"Its true"He said with a shrug.

"I don't care"I said simply and opened my notebook as class was starting.

I really didn't care. Guys could like me if they wanted. They had no shot. I mean I knew guys liked me. Obvious flirting. But I would never get with them.

The only guy I wanted was a complete asshole.

~~

I walked into the house after school as Mr.O'Callaghan had picked me up and dropped me off at home and then went straight back to work.

The house was empty. No Shane or John. Cindy was still at work.

I sighed as I dropped my bag in the usual place I always did, by the door.

I decided on taking a long nap. I needed sleep.

I walked up the stairs slowly, dragging my feet.

I walked down the hall and stopped in front of my door. I sighed and pushed it open.

As I looked in my room, surprise took over.

There was a bouquet of yellow Daisy's laying on my bed.

I walked over to my bed slowly staring at the flowers, thinking I was picturing them. That they weren't really there.

I reached out and picked them up off my bed thinking I would grab nothing.

But they were real.

A smile crossed my face as I smelled the beautiful flowers. They smelled wonderful. I hugged the flowers to my chest as I basically buried my face in the flowers.

I felt so happy. The happiest I had felt in a while. Just having flowers cheered me up.

But who gave me these flowers was the question that just randomly popped into my head.

I took my face out of the flowers and looked down at them hoping to find a note in them or something.

My heart started beating faster as I spotted a white little card hidden in the Daisy's.

I reached in and grabbed it. I opened the teeny card slowly and a smile spread across my face. A huge smile.

All the card said was 'I'm sorry' and I instantly knew who they were from.

Maybe John really was sorry. He finally realized after all this time, he was hurting me.