You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

I had been dating Eric for three weeks and two days now. Dating Eric was everything I thought it would be and then some.

He treated me like I was the only thing in the world he cared about. He treated me like I was his world.

He picked me up from school everyday, he insisted he pay every where we go even when I put up a fight, and he randomly always tells me I'm beautiful. Hes just a great boyfriend.

Me and Eric are together as much as possible. When I'm not at school I'm by his side. Wherever he is, I am. When we aren't together, we're on the phone with each other, wandering what the other is doing.

Dating Eric has caused me to fall back on my school work. Once he found out I was neglecting some homework assignments, he lectured me and told me school comes first. He even just sits with me now while I do my homework, helping me here and there or just playing with a hacki sac occupying himself till I finish.

He's perfect. Which worries me a little. Ive never been in such a wonderful relationship.

But since Ive been dating Eric, John doesn't even say a simple hey to me anymore. He doesn't randomly decide to just talk to me anymore. He ignores me completely. It kills me more then ever. Sometimes I beat myself up about not being fair to Eric. John still holds a chunk of my heart. A part of my heart is still beating for him to be mine.

All this wouldn't hurt so much if dating Eric didn't come along with actually hanging out with John 24/7 now. Every time the guys hung out, I was with them now. Eric just had to bring me along, even when I protested, he would pout and say he wanted to be with me which made me give in.

I would usually just be with Eric the whole time, John usually wouldn't even take notice to my presence. I should be used to him doing that already. But I'm not. It kills me little by little every time.

Eric doesn't even talk about Me liking John or vise versa anymore. That subject never comes up, all we talk about is us.

We are actually taking things slow though. I mean we've only been together for three weeks and a couple days so we don't tell each other we love each other or anything like that. We haven't even gone past making out. We aren't rushing anything.

"Eric I don't want to go"I protested as I was sitting cross legged on his on bed playing with my cellphone.

"Please Aubs? I don't want to go without you.If you don't go, I'm not going either."Eric said as he sat on the bed too and put his arm around my shoulders pulling me into him

"Fine"I sighed giving in like I usually did.

"Thank you"He said as he kissed my cheek and then got up off the bed and took off his shirt going to change into another one.

I fucking hate party's. Thats why I don't go to them. But this is the last party I guess all the guys are going to be going to before they start tour next week. Yes, Eric's going too.

Eric and John are leaving. I'm going to end up dieing slowly. Why do the Maine and A Rocket to the Moon have to tour together? God now everyones leaving me.

Eric's begged me to go, but I cant, I have school.

I groaned and fell back on Eric's bed. Great now I was going to a party tonight. Fun.

~~

I walked around the party aimlessly looking for Eric. I had lost him almost an hour ago. I was prepared to cry already. I'm not a party girl. Party's scare me. Especially when I don't know like anyone there.

I hated walking by drunk people. They scared me the most. I had to shove people out of my way as I searched the house for Eric. I was thinking about just leaving by myself. I no longer wanted to be here.

I don't even remember how I lost Eric. He just disappeared leaving me alone. I was so mad at him at the moment. I wanted to punch him in the face.

I walked into the kitchen to see a game of beer pong going on, people mixing their drinks, and some passed out people on the floor. I hated the aroma of beer. It was disgusting.

I stepped over someone and walked around the kitchen. I walked past the little pantry looking in for a brief second and then kept walking.

Then I remembered what I saw and stopped in my tracks. I backed up and looked back into the pantry.

There was my wonderful boyfriend pushed up against some girl with red hair, sucking off her face. I wanted to cry.

I quickly ran away from there back to the way I came into the kitchen, almost tripping over the same guy I stepped over. I was crying uncontrollably now as the image of Eric and that girl replayed in my head. How could he do this to me? I thought he was the perfect boyfriend and he really liked me. My life's just fucked up. God hates me. Nothing ever turns out right.

"Hey beautiful"Some guy I did not know said as he stepped in front of me just as I almost reached the door and took a hold of my arm

"Leave me alone"I sobbed as I attempted to free my arm but he tightened his grip.

I would have been more scared of this random guy if I wasn't so focused on Eric cheating on me right now, at this very moment.

"Whats a pretty girl like you doing crying?"he asked

"Leave me alone"I repeated.

"Hey! Whats going on?"John asked as he stepped in between me and the guy and the guy immediately let go of my arm.

"Nothing, just seeing what was wrong"the guy said as he put his hands up in surrender.

"Get the fuck away from her, if you come near her again I promise ill murder you with my bear hands"John sneered at the guy.

"I don't want any problems man"He said as he backed away from me and John.

John turned to face me "Aubrey, whats wrong?"He asked worriedly.

I just cried harder and lunged at John and hugged his waist and buried my face in his chest.

He hugged me back immediately and then whispered in my ear "Whats wrong? Please tell me before I go insane"

I looked up at him

"This is the worst fucking night of my life"I cried "First, some girl spilled some type of alcohol on my shoes, then I lost Eric, Ive been searching for him for the past hour, and then I found him sucking face with some red head and then I ran. I couldn't take it, and then that creepy guy."I sobbed and then buried my face in his chest again."I want to go home"I mumbled in his chest

"Wheres Eric?"John asked softly.

I just shook my head.

"Please tell me Aubrey. I want to have a word with him"John said with force.

"No John"I said as I looked up at him. I knew he wanted to do more then have a few words with him

"Aubrey, he cant"John said softly.

"I know. But nothing can fix what I saw"I sniffled.

"Every things going to be okay"He said as he wiped the tears on my face with his thumb,

"No its not"I said shaking my head."I just want to go home"

"Fine"He said with a sigh"But I will have a word with Eric later"

"No violence right?"I asked making sure as I looked straight into his eyes. My vision a little blurry due to the tears that had my eyes glazed over.

"Aubrey"John sighed after a few seconds.

"No John. Hes your friend. I'm not worth it"I sniffled and looked down

"Don't say that"He said as he lifted my face so I was looking at him

"Can I leave now?"I asked quietly

"Ill take you home"John said softly as we let go of the hold we had on each other.

"Thank you"I squeaked the tears spilling over again as the image of Eric and the girl just flashed into my head again. HOW COULD HE?

"Come on"John said taking my hand in his and holding it tightly as he led me through the people standing by the door.

"I'm just parked down the street"He said lacing his fingers through mine as we walked down the pathway from the house.

I would love it so much more if it wasn't for stupid Eric. I was still a mess, I was still crying. Thats the worse thing a guy could do. Cheat.

Me and John walked in silence to his car as I sniffled, still sobbing quietly while John gave my hand a squeeze here and there.

"Right here"John said quietly as he opened his car door for me and I got in and he closed the door after me and went around to the drivers side.

I buckled my seat belt and wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

John started the car and started driving. A few minutes went by in silence.

"I'm sorry for having you leave"I said quietly calming down just a little.

"Hey, its no problem. I wasn't having fun anyway. Amber got drunk the first ten minutes we were there and shes just obnoxious when shes drunk"He said with a little silent laugh.

"So are you and Amber together now?"I asked as I started fidgeting with my hands

"No"He said softly."Whats going to happen with you and Eric?"

"We're breaking up"I said simply and wiped my tears again

"I don't know Aubs, is that fair? I mean he could have been drunk and didn't know what he was doing. He could have thought that chick was you or something"

"No he couldn't have. I don't have red hair"I said getting heated up now. I was no longer sad, but pissed.

"Red hair? Wait, was it his ex Rachael? I mean she had red hair"John said as he made a turn

"Fucking perfect"I mumbled"Right now I wish I beat her face in. I wish I grabbed her by her hair and sucker punched her. I was just to shocked and sad at the moment and the only thing I could think to do was run"I said with a sigh

"Maybe he was drunk"John said again softly.

"Drunk or not, it doesn't matter, we're over. Besides it better if we aren't together. Its not likes hes the only guy thats on my mind. Its not fair to him, I cant give him all my heart anyway."

"Other guy?"John asked confused

"Yeah"I said with a sigh and looked out my window.

"Can I ask who this other guy is?"

"It doesn't even matter. He doesn't want me."I sighed "I cant believe Eric cheated on me"I said with a little scream. Yes I couldn't get over it. "What if I never saw him with that girl? Would he have told me? Has he been cheating on me? This is fucking stupid"I said crying hard again

"Whoa whoa whoa, calm down"John said taking one of his hands off the wheel and taking one of my hands in his and giving it a squeeze and then rubbing small comforting circles on the top of it. "Eric's my best friend, I guarantee I would know if hes been cheating on you, and I would have kicked his ass already if he was."

"Thanks John"I said quietly as I was calming down. Him holding my hand relaxed me.

"Anytime"He said softly.
~
We walked into the house quietly, John still holding my hand as he led me up the stairs to my room.

We walked into my room and I let go of Johns hand and crawled into my bed.

"If you need anything,just tell me, okay?"John asked softly.

"Thanks John"I whispered.

"Hey, its no problem"He smiled. "Well I'm pretty tired too, so I'm going to get to bed."

"Alright, good night John"

"Night Aubrey"He said and walked through the bathroom to his room.

I didn't sleep though. its been around an hour.I still cried silently to myself. How could Eric do that? But that wasn't the only thing making me shaky.

It was thundering. I'm not a big fan of thunder. Ive been afraid of it since I was a little girl. It was one of those fears I never got passed.

As another thunder erupted through my room, I buried my face in my pillow, not wanting to be alone.

Before I could register what I was doing, I was crawling out of bed.

I walked into mine and Johns joined bathroom and then into his room. I looked to his bed and he was sleeping soundly.

I sniffled and walked over to him.I crawled into his bed under the covers.

"Whats wrong? Are you okay?"John asked sleepy but still worried as he wrapped his arms around me

"I don't like the thunder" I said quietly.

John didn't respond. I just felt him kiss my for head gently and then tighten his arms around me as he pulled me into him.

Tonight, John was my very own personal hero.