You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

Me and Eric were silent for the about the first five minutes in the car. And then we started talking. It was a warm conversation. I loved talking to Eric.

"So tell me how tour was. Its funny, I haven't heard anything about it really, come to think about it, I never asked John how it was either"I said with a little laugh

"Tour was fun. You know, its great playing for the fans."He smiled as he quickly looked over in my direction and then back to the road."Can I ask you about something?"Eric asked softly.

For some reason I was scared. Those simple words indicated he wanted to talk about our relationship, which I didn't want to talk about, or something that involved John.

"Sure"I said simply

"You and John"He started. Oh great. "Are you two together?"He asked softly, but quietly. Like it hurt him. And that hurt me.

"No"I said instantly. This was why me and John decided not to tell anyone. Well I didn't want Eric to know. He was my ex boyfriend, and I mean Johns best friend. They've been friends since they were little kids. I didn't want to come between them. But I loved John. So much. But I loved Eric too. Differently now though. Like a great friend.He just never could compare to John for me.

I don't even know whats so different about John. Why I love him so much. But I do. And I cant change that, if I want to or not. and thats a not.

"Yes you are"He said confidently. "You two acted like how we acted when we dated. I mean you and John were never really buddy buddy. Sure everyone knew you liked each other. I knew you loved him when you were dating me. But you two barely ever spoke to each other. And then on Friday and tonight. Things seem to have changed. Its like you cant be away from each other"

"Eric, look. Okay, me and John are together."I said with a sigh. Whats the point in hiding it from him anymore? "We only started dating on Friday.I'm sorry"

"Why are you sorry? I knew you would end up with him in the end. Even when we were dating. I knew I couldn't keep you. But that never stopped me from loving you."

"I loved you too. Like I really did. But John. I don't even know. I mean sure he was a dick head to me half the time, but then hes the sweetest guy."

"I knew he liked you from the first time I met you. The first time I witnessed John get angry because I was helping you with the dishes."He said with a little laugh "I just wish you didn't feel like you needed to keep it from me. I'm not mad or anything like that. If you're happy, then I'm happy"

"Thanks Eric"I said with a little smile. For some reason I expected him to be mad. I wanted him to be mad.

"Anytime Aubs"He smiled

"Whatever happened to this girl on tour?"I asked curiously

"We hooked up. But I didn't really want to date her"Eric said being completely honest. It shocked me a little that he told me he fucked her.

"Why not?"

"Still a little hung up on you"He said with a shrug.

"Oh"I said softly.

"I don't know, I just, I loved you. When you love someone it takes a while to stop thinking about them."He said just as softly as me

My heart was beating so fast. I cant even explain it.

"I'm sorry"That was the only thing I could think of to say.

"No biggie"He said as he gave me a smile.

We pulled into my school parking lot and I frowned. I didn't really want to leave Eric. Through everything, I still loved being with him. Nothing will change that.

"So, how is living on campus?"He asked as he parked

"I like it you know. But I'm moving back in with the O'Callaghans next week for the next semester"

"I would think you would"He said with a little laugh as I undid my seat belt.

"I really do like being with you. I'm so comfortable"I said honestly.

"Thats good"He smiled. "I would actually love to hang out with you all night. But I guess I cant"

"Why?"I asked smiling back

"I'm not aloud in there? Like your dorm?"He asked with a chuckle.

"Completely untrue."I laughed "I sneak John in all the time. They don't check on us"

"Really?"Eric asked smiling, amazed

"Yes, so you want to come up? Oh wait. You're meeting back up with the guys aren't you?"I asked saddens washing over me.

"Nah, I was gonna go to the party right after dropping you off, seeing the guys there. But I bet they wont notice if I wont show"

"Yay!"I said clapping my hands and Eric laughed."Lets go"I said as I opened the car door.

"Wait, Aubrey"Eric said grabbing my hand to stop me from getting out of the car"Wont John get mad?"

I rolled my eyes "Do you care if he cares?"

"No not really. But you are his girlfriend now."

"So? Its not like I'm cheating on him. I can have guys friends"I did not want to lose Eric. He would always be my friend. Even though I knew John would get heated over this.

"Yeah, okay"He smiled.

We got out of the car and started walking to the building."Staying all night?"I asked Eric with a smile as I hooked my arm through his.

"If you want"He chuckled.

"Sleepover"I laughed and Eric did too.

~~

There was a repeated knocking on my dorm room door.

"Eric get the door"I said sleepily. Me and Eric were sleeping already, on the same bed. That probably wouldn't roll over with John very well, but its not like we did anything.

All we did was talk until we fell asleep. We laughed and were pretty noisy. Lydia wasn't in the room so we acted freely.

"Aubs, this is your room, you get it"Eric groaned as the knocking wouldn't stop. "Its getting louder, go"Eric said as he gave me a little shove.

"Fine"I mumbled as I jumped off the bed, making sure I moved the bed as much as possible to wake him up even more.

I yawned as I turned on the lights as I reached the switch and that made Eric groan loudly and I couldn't help but laugh. He swung the covers off him and just sat up, irritated.

I reached the door and swung it open.

"Aubrey! I'm so sorry"John slurred. He was drunk. I just wanted to slam the door in his face. Fucking promise breaker

"You better be sorry because its almost four in the morning, and you're here drunk, when you promised me you wouldn't drink"I said completely annoyed

"I'm sorry!"He said again. But more loudly.

"Get in here before you wake everyone"I said as I grabbed his arm and pulled him into my room and closed the door after him

"Whats he fucking doing here!?"John yelled as he pointed to Eric

"That doesn't matter. Why are you here? Drunk at that?"I asked as I stepped in front of him, blocking his vision of Eric.

"It does matter"John slurred as he looked past my shoulder at Eric"And I'm sorry"He said as he continued to eye Eric.

"John, look at me"I said as I stood on my tippy toes and took his face in my hands."Why are you sorry"

"I-I-I almost slept with her. I-I-I am so s-s-sorry"He stuttered.

I started breathing heavier "Slept with who?" Even though I knew who he was talking about

"Amber"John said softly, sobering up a bit.

"I don't want to hear it"I said as I let go of him and walked away.

"Aubrey I'm sorry. Nothing happened I swear"He said grabbing my hand

"And how do I know nothing happened?"I snapped at him.

"I'm here aren't I? You're the one I want."He said softly. I looked deep into his eyes and could tell he was being sincere.

I lunged at him and hugged him. He hugged back immediately.

I didn't care if John did do something with Amber. All he had to do was say sorry. I never wanted to lose him, ever. He could hurt me as much as he wants, as long as he says sorry, and I'm still the one he wants

"I love you"He said into my ear

"I love you"I said as I pulled away "But John, you really cant do this"

"I know. And nothing like this will ever happen again. I promise"

"Really? You promise?"I asked skeptically. He promised me he wouldn't drink. Look whos drunk...Hmmm

"Yes, Aubrey please."He begged for me to believe him

"Fine"I said softly and he gave me a quick kiss. Tasted of alcohol. Gross.

"Now why is he here?"John asked getting edge in his voice again as he faced Eric, who was just fascinated by me and John apparently.

"That doesn't matter now does it? I mean you're the one who almost cheated on me"I said rolling my eyes.

"Aubrey"He said sternly.

"You cant say anything about Eric being here, first off, I told him we are dating"

"Oh"John said softly. "But I still don't appreciate him being in the same bed as you"

I just rolled my eyes.

Eric got up off the bed and just stood there rubbing the back of his neck.

"Are you staying?"I asked John

"Well I'm the boyfriend"He slurred again. God he has to have drinken right?

"Eric, do you mind sleeping on Lydia's bed? She wont mind"I asked facing Eric.

"No, of course not"He said with a yawn and walked over to Lydia's bed.

"Well I have school soon, so I'm going back to bed"I said as I walked over to my bed as John just followed behind me. I just sighed.

We got into bed and John pulled me close

"I really am sorry"He whispered.

"John, its fine. Its alright"I said reassuring him. I didn't care. He didn't sleep with her and he was still mine.

He kissed me softly and let his lips linger there.

I pulled away. "Don't kiss me when you taste like alcohol"I said and turned so my back was to him.

I heard Eric laugh and John groan "Shut up man"

A few minutes later I still wasn't asleep. I couldn't. How could I? My drunken boyfriend had to go and wake me up.

"Aubs?"I heard John say

"Yeah?"I asked

"Marry me"He said simply.

I didn't respond. He was obviously kidding, we've only been together for like what three days? It was obviously the alcohol speaking.