You Had Me Wishing We Were Something

"Mom, this is Eric, remember I told you about Eric"I said as I had brought Eric into the kitchen to meet my mom.

My mom turned around from the stove smiling.

"Its really nice to meet you and its great that you decided to come out here and visit. How long are you staying for?"She asked

"Just a few days. My bands sort off in the middle of putting together new songs and I was specifically told I cant stay for more then 3 days"He said with a little laugh

"Well you're more then welcome to stay here"She smiled, loving the fact that I was over excited, happier then I had been lately.

"Are you sure? A hotels not a problem"Eric said kindly, the way you usually talk to a parent.

"Of course! you can stay in the guest room"She smiled and laughed lightly.

"Well mom, I'm taking Eric up to my room to catch up"I said taking Eric's hand in mine

"Alright' dinner will be ready in about an hour"She said happily.

"Thanks so much Mrs.Andrews"Eric said before I dragged him out of the kitchen.

I continued to hold his hand as I led him up the stairs and to my room.

As we entered my room, I shut the door behind him and then pulled him into a kiss. I pulled away and Eric was completely smiling.

"What was that for?"he asked with a little laugh

"You came after me"I said simply.

~~

"Move over"I whispered with a quiet little laugh as I crawled in bed with Eric

"Is this aloud?"Eric laughed as he moved over and made room for me

"No, but if you're here, I'm obviously gonna sleep with you. I missed you" I said snuggling under the blankets with him

"But I don't want your parents to hate me"He said as he put his arm around my waste

"Don't worry, ill sneak out before they wake"I smiled

"Alright"he smiled back

"So it took you three weeks?"I asked with a little laugh.

"Well actually I knew I'd be coming out since the moment you said goodbye, but the guys wouldn't let me leave. Band stuff, you know, and then I awkwardly had to ask Cindy where it was exactly you lived, you wanna know what her response was?"He chuckled lightly

"Sure"I giggled as I moved closer.

"She said, quote un quote, "I thought It would be John to ask that question" but then she smiled and went to go find your address" he smiled lightly.

"Oh" I said softly. Up until that moment I had forgotten John had forgotten about me...

"Sorry to bring him up"Eric said quickly seeing my change in mood.

"No, he obviously lied about everything. I should have known it was you that was true all along"I said sincerely.

"Aubs John did love you, But Ive always loved you too..."

"I mean I should have known"I started completely ignoring his last statement."You respected me more then John. You never slept with me and then left me. Actually you never slept with me. Its actually nice to know our relationship didn't run on sex"I said with a little laugh

"I guess"He chuckled.

"What?" I laughed

"That doesn't mean I never wanted to sleep with you, that that thought never ran through my head, its just I never really liked someone so much. I had never ever even been in a relationship where we weren't exactly "physical" I just, I wanted it to work and not force you into doing something you didn't seem ready for us to do."

"Its not really because I wasn't ready"I said softly.

"I never really wanted to believe it was because of him"He said with a gentle laugh

"Eric"I started

"No, I mean after I found out you've slept with him more then once, it hurt a little. I mean isn't that why you didn't want to sleep with me? Because you wanted him to be the only one?"

"I don't know. Maybe. With John it was just a rush. Wanting him to want me. With you, I had you. It wasn't a rush. With John when we slept together it wasn't special. Spontaneous. I was hoping our first would be special"

"It would be"He said softly and I smiled. "I really do love you Aubrey"He said with a little smile.

"I love you too"I said as I leaned in and kissed him. Maybe I was moving to fast with Eric...Maybe no matter what I'd still love John...Maybe it was time to just forget about him,like he forgot about me.

Two seconds later from that soft kiss, that soft kiss had developed into a aggressive battle for dominance. Our lips refused to leave one anothers.

Me and Eric never kissed like this, so I knew it would develop into something more. I was hoping it would. I think Eric knew to because he went

"But your parents, what if they hear?"as he pulled away just to ask that and went back to kissing me.

"They wont, they're allll the way down the hall. Furthest from here"I laughed lightly as I pulled away to answer his question.

He smiled softly and then looked down at me as he hovered above me, asking with his eyes, if I really wanted to do this.

I answered his question simply with just leaning up and kissing him.

~~

I layed in my own bed the next morning staring up at my ceiling. I had just snuck out of Eric's room about ten minutes ago.

I was completely lost in thought.

Was it bad I was comparing having sex with Eric to having sex with John?

Even I could answer that. YES.

Was it bad that I thought of John the entire time? YES

What I was doing wasn't fair. The hold John had on me wasn't fair.

But with Eric it was different, he just seemed so much gentler.

But John? John was just amazing at it. I had to face it, they were to completely different guys.

John always had a problem calling me when we were far from each other. John also always had a problem of constantly breaking my heart. Over and over again..

Why did I always think about him?! It was obvious we would never happen again. Here was Eric. Telling me he still loved me. Came to visit me. And I still wasn't being fair.

Fucking John O'Callaghan.

~~

"Aubs, you should come back to Arizona"Eric said softly as we sat at the kitchen table eating the pancakes my mom had prepared for breakfast.

"Look Eric, I really do miss it down there, but there's no way, I'm already starting college here in like 3 months"

"I thought you told me you got accepted down to a college in Arizona too?"Eric asked not remembering if he was correct.

"I did. I just chose the one here, I got accepted all over the place"I said with a shrug as I started cutting my pancakes with the side of my fork.

"Oh" Eric said sadly and I looked up from my plate at him and he was looking down sad.

"I mean I could always transfer, for a semester you know, to see if I like it down there"I said pretty much saying that to make him happy.

"Really Aubs? That would be awesome" he smiled.

That smile killed me. I didn't want to go back there. Ever. Eric seemed excited about the idea, but he didn't know, if I went back there, lets say, he'd always come in second.