Nevermind Me

“I’ll uh, come back.” I told Joe as we dropped him and Nick off at their parent’s house in Toluca Lake. I figured it would be better if Taylor’s grandparents didn’t see two very attractive guys in my car when I took her home; it probably would cancel out any other plans with me in the future.

He was leaning into my open window, arms resting on the sill, asking what was going to happen. In truth, I didn’t know. I didn’t know where we went from here, where we were going next, or even how to get there. Although I wouldn’t outright say it, I wanted to jump straight into a relationship with him. I’d been hiding feelings for a while, harboring them for even longer, and lying to myself about them for the longest. It was time to an end to my wanting and pretending and finally do what I wanted. As long as I can remember I’ve been settling for less, mainly because of my sister. I’ve been on the back burner because it’s all I’ve ever known. No one’s ever put me first in their life; Joe was as close as I’d gotten to someone like that. I’m not trying to become a star; just stop living behind Valerie.

“M’kay.” He murmured, dipping his head inside to kiss me swiftly. “I think it’s…best if we talk to my parents. About…us.”

“Yeah.” I agreed, nodding my head fluidly.

“Yeah. See you when you get back.” He looked over to Taylor who’d migrated to the passenger seat, “Good times, Tay. Join us again soon; you complete us.”

She laughed, nodding her head. “Bye Joe.”

“Later; call Nick because I knowhe gave you his number.” He ran away and up to the door that Nick slammed close right before he got to it. Shouting ‘Dork!’ He opened it back, waved to us, and ran inside.

“They’re such dorks,” She laughed some more, shaking her head as we pulled off. I smiled, nodding in agreement. It was cute, though. Childish, ridiculous, and sometimes weird, but always cute. “So uhm, what did…you and Joe talk about?”

I was planning on telling Taylor about it alone anyway, so her question didn’t shock me. I was still sort of nervous and I got that stir in my stomach like I always did when things came to Joe. I turned down the sounds of Benton Paul and sighed.

“We, well I,didn’t plan on leaving. Things just got too out of control, my feelings did and I went with it. Joe lead the way and I followed because… I didn’t want to worry about things anymore. He drove us up to a mountain side.” I smiled as her eyes widened in surprise and confusion. “I don’t know, we were just driving; going with the flow for once. For the first time I didn’t hesitate; at all. Not at one point last night did I second guess or doubt.”

“Because you know what you want?” She guessed.

I thought about what she said and nodded. “Yeah. I want Joe. And I want to be happy.” Saying those words were easier than I thought, maybe because it was Taylor. I didn’t feel like I’d said some dark secret and that felt good. I smiled genuinely, feeling better as I let this off my chest.

“That’s reallyawesome, Juliet. You guys loveeach other. I swear, today you were so much like a couple. I mean, are you?”

“I have no idea.” I told her honestly. “I mean, everything complicates it. Valerie mostly. Technically, they’re in a relationship so it’s like, where does that leave us?”

“Yeah,” She agreed. She was quiet before she spoke again. “I want to meet Valerie.”

“Uh, Tay I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” I said, uneasy. Valerie was harsh and she’d been even more bitter since Joe, apparently, has been spending less and less time with her. As a result of that, I’ve been home less and less when she’s there. Our house is more lifeless than before. But I didn’t want Taylor to have to have her feelings hurt; there was no telling with Valerie.

“Everyone says she’s so horrible, and Nick was telling me things about her. I want to see for myself how bad she is. I might feel more at ease about Joe cheating on her.” I flinched at the word.

“Sorry,” She apologized quickly. “I didn’t mean to make it sound like that. The whole thing is just sort of weird.”

I nodded in agreement, pulling up to the curb of her house. I shut off the engine and we both opened our doors to get out. We grabbed her bags and shuffled our way up to the door, ringing the doorbell.

“You’re back. We missed you, Hon.” Her grandpa greeted us warmly. “Did you have fun?”

“Loads.” She smiled, her whole face lighting up with it. Her grandfather and I both smiled at the gesture. He turned to me after nodding at her. “Thank you so much for taking her with you. She talks about those Jonas Boys nonstop.”

“Grandpa.” She whined, shaking her head. He chuckled, kissing her forehead.

“It was no problem, Sir. She actually got to meet them.”

“Oh really? That’s wonderful, Taylor.”

“Yeah; everyone loved her. She’s welcome to join me anytime.”

“Thank you; I’m glad Taylor has you to befriend.”

“Thank you.” I tried to laugh away my blush. “I’ll call you later, Tay.”

“Okay, Thank you, Juliet.”

“No problem. Goodbye, Sir. Thank you for letting her come.”

“Anytime she wants. Goodnight.”

“Night.”

I hoped back into my car to face more serious things at the Jonas house.

&&

“Hi, Honey.” Denise greeted me as she opened the door with a hug. We embraced before she stepped back. “Joe told me you were coming back over about something, but he wouldn’t say.”

“Ummmm” I dragged, not knowing what to say.

“Jules!” Nick called, saving me from my moment of mindlessness. I had no idea what to tell Denise.

“Hey.” I waved. Denise stepped out of the way, guiding me into the kitchen. I’d never been in this house but it was more beautiful than their home in Texas. It looked just like something out of Good Housekeeping.

“Joe just made Dinner.” She told me as we walked. The smell of something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, was wonderful smelling nonetheless.

I saw Joe at the island, cutting up what I now saw was Mexican Pizza, making my stomach growl, the sight of Joe making me smile.

“Hungry?” He turned to me, smiling with a plate of food in his hand. I nodded, grabbing the outstretched plate.

“Shouldn’t we be getting to whatever you wanted to talk about, Joseph? Juliet’s here.”

“Yeah, just hold on a minute. Let us…settle down.” He tried to stall.

She rolled her eyes, laughing. “Whatever. We’ll talk over Dinner in the living room.”

“Can Nick not be invited? Him and Frankie can sit at the kiddie table.”

“No, I think I should be invited to Joe’s little grown up meeting.”

“Nick, I’m going to ki—”

“Please, Nicholas?” I pleaded softly, cutting Joe off from his threat.

“Fine, because you’re pretty.” He winked and walked off with a strut, knowing Joe was itching to say something. They were like foil characters in a play; they egged each other on.

We both found our place to sit on the couch across from Paul and Denise; food stalled for now although my stomach was objecting fiercely.

“So,” Denise clasped her hands onto her lap in a ‘let’s do this manner’. “What’s all this about, kids?”

“We want to be together.” Joe blurted out like he was confessing to a murder. I barely had time to process her whole question before he spilled the beans. My mouth parted into a tiny ‘O’, my eyes widened in incredulous shock. What in the hell possessed him to put it out there like that?

All this time I was trying to formulate a way to tell them the truth and what was going on now and he says the gist of the conversation clear as day. It wasn’t that type of conversation so, consequently, a deafening silence stunned us all.

I sat rigid and not breathing, my eyes concentrating on the painting of a fruit bowl behind Denise’s head. No part of me could handle looking at anything alive. I tried to tell myself to function, think, breath, but I just couldn’t do it.

I heard a sigh spill from someone’s mouth and the sound made my body come to life again. Slowly, I let my eyes travel to Denise and I let my lungs have the air they were desperately begging for. She rubbed her palms together and smiled some. I was surprised at the gesture.

“Well, I don’t know whether to scold or congratulate you.” She finally said, bringing me both disbelief and sudden relief. “Can’t say I’m surprised neither.”

“Huh?” Was all that came from my mouth as it hung dumbly open.

“Well, Sweetheart you can’t tell me you didn’t think we’d all expect this. We know Joe and we know you. We know how you two are together and we know what you mean to each other. This isn’t something we’ve never saw coming; it’s been hinting at the back of everyone’s minds since that fallout back in winter.”

I knew Garbo and Taylor and Nick and the band knew, but Joe’s parents? The couple I looked up to knew I loved their son who was with my sister. I felt so embarrassed and knew that my cheeks were burning with it. I didn’t know what to say so I shut my mouth tightly, pursing my lips.

Joe gave a nervous chuckle, rubbing the back of his neck just like Nick did when he was nervous. I could’ve smiled at the gesture if the situation didn’t make me want to run and hide.

“Are you guys serious?” He asked, chewing his lip.

“Son, we trust you. You make mistakes you learn from them. You use those mistakes to make the right decision. This right here, from my perspective, is the right decision, though the terms it’s under are somewhat unjust. We can figure it out.”

I felt my spirits lift at Paul’s words. Lifting my gaze to meet his, I smiled appreciatively. My jumble of nerves and embarrassment temporarily were buried under a newfound glee in his parents understanding. They weren’t mad and this was no longer awkward. At Paul’s words I felt less burdened and freed of a pleasing amount baggage.

“Thanks Mom and Dad. I love you guys.” Joe smiled at both his parents, going to hug them both and plant a kiss on his mother’s cheek. He sat back beside me, closer than last time and this time it was fine. I was comforted by the warmth his body was giving off towards mine. Unnoticeably, I slipped a bit closer and inclined my head more towards his shoulder.

“We’re not quiet down yet, Joseph. There areerrors in this.” Paul nodded, and we did also in understanding.

“Right.” Denise agreed. “So what were your next plans, you two?”

“It was kind of our purpose of meeting up today. We’re at a loss of how to handle this.” I spoke up, getting all eyes on me. The last word I had so inspirationally spoke was ‘huh’.

“What do you two want to happen?”

“We want to make the first step in justifying this in someway. We need to….” I didn’t know how to put it

“I need to dump, Valerie.” Joe stated bluntly, seeing my struggle.

“Try and be kinder, please.” Denise pleaded, sighing at her son.

“Well,” He started, grabbing my hand and giving it a tender squeeze before bring it right under his chin, intertwined with his own hand. “I knowI want to be with Juliet. I’ve known for a long time and made mistakes because I couldn’t get my way. But now I am having it my way and I don’t want someone like Valerie getting in that way.”

“Valerie’s been your girlfriend for months, Joe.”

“But she has never been what Juliet has to me. She’s never meantas much to me as Juliet does. She’s never caredabout me like Juliet does. And she’s never loved me at all compared to what I knowJuliet feels for me.”

I blushed as I watched Joe kiss my fist and hold my hand between both of his. This feeling of bliss, happiness, joy, love, pride, and appreciation I felt must have been part of what he was talking about. I felt so many things for Joe at one time I couldn’t keep it all together. One thing I could always identify was passion. We’ve always had it, just never had the place to show it, until now.

“It sounds like you’re mind is set. You don’t need our help.” Paul smiled.

“Just remember to keep this out of the public eye until this Valerie thing is blown over. We don’t need an outrage, kids.” Denise piped up.

“No problem,” Joe stated, beaming at his mother.

We all talked on and on about so many topics before I figured it was time for me to go home. I checked my phone and saw it was ten to eleven.

“Stay,” Joe pleaded, wrapping his arms around my waist while Paul and Denise went into the kitchen for a slice of her apple pie.

“It’s best if I go home.” I tried to reason, but still smiling at him as he looked up at me with beautiful brown eyes.

“You know you don’t want to leave. I don’t want you to leave. My heart will be little and lonely if you leave.”

Although it was probably corny, I found it cute and childish when he said that. With a hesitant sigh, I relented, agreeing to spend the night. But, only on the condition that we shower and go straight to bed after a snack. Joe quickly agreed.

&&

After I received a stomach full of all kinds of junk food thanks to Denise’s kitchen, I dragged Joe upstairs so I could get the sleep he promised me for my stay.

“Where am I going to sleep?” I asked, pulling on the bottom of the tee-shirt Joe had given me to sleep in. Against his ‘opinion’, I wore boxers under since it barely hid my rear end.

“In my arms,” he muttered, flopping onto his old bed. I wondered to myself if Joe missed his old room sometimes when he was in the house he, Garbo, and Jack shared. Was a sense of family still present?

I eyed him suspiciously before walking over because it was what I really wanted anyway. I plopped down on the bed in the same way he did, immediately laying on my side and snuggling up to the pillows.

“C’mere.” He murmured, pulling my body to his so my back was right up against his chest. I giggled softly, trying not to get too riled up.

“I wanna go to sleep, Joe.”

“Then kiss me so I’ll be quiet.” It was a soft demand he reprimanded by softly gripping my chin so I could face his face. I turned to look at him, shaking my head.

“Joe—”

“Kiss.”

“You’re really.—”

“Kiss.”

“Are you ser—”

“Kis—”

“Fine!” I pressed my lips to his with an urgent force to both shut him up and feel his against me. Before I could even think about pulling away, his hand came to the back of my head, locking me in place as he deepened the kiss. Just as he was sliding his tongue into my mouth the—

“None of that with the doors wide open kids; we all want our innocence.” Nick chided with his ever present smirk I saw when I looked up, startled at the intrusion.

Before me or Joe could speak a word he was gone again.

“He is sucha cock blocker when he’s single.” Joe muttered bitterly. I hit him with a pillow laughing, encouraging the end of kissing and the start of sleep. He agreed as long as he could hold me.