Don't Try and Change Me When It Won't Friggin' Work, for I Am Billie Joe Armstrong!
Leaving on a Jet Plane
As the four pals drove out of Oakland in Billie Joe's new banger, Mike suddenly gripped the back of the drivers seat, Billie stop the car...quick!"
Reflexes kicked in and Billie slammed his foot on the break, "Geezus! Mike what's wrong?"
"Dude i have to graduate, it's the last week of school if i don't graduate I'll never forgive myself. It's a self preservation thing i have to do it!" Mike announced getting out of the old banger. He leaned in the open window, "Just meet me in Vegas in three day's then we can have the most fucking awesome time of our fucking fucked up teenage lives, okay?" Mike asked nodding hysterically.
Billie didn't care if Mike didn't come but he thought it would be nice to have him on the trip anyway!
"Yeah whatever dude!" Billie replied carelessly.
"Cool see you guys then!"
Tre looked from Al to Billie in the rear mirror, "Did he just say he was gonna graduate?"
"Yeah i think he did!" Al replied confused.
"Crazy fucker!" Tre snorted with laughter then leaned forward to speak to Billie Joe, "So Bill where to first mother fucker?"
"Um...i don't know where do you think we should go Tre?"
"Well I'd say Vegas but that's in three days!" Tre said glumly.
"No Dude, we can totally do this. Let's go to Vegas and play for three days until Mike comes!" Al suggested excitedly. Billie nodded thats cool with me.
The trip to Vegas took a while (I don't fucking know how long it takes) and they arrived sort of around ten o'clock or something like that.
"Will we check into a motel?" Al asked groggily.
"Well we're not gonna sleep in a card board box!" Billie replied with a mock laugh.
"Hey can we check into one of those tacky motels, with the tacky Moulin Rouge scene?" Tre asked excitedly.
"Sure we can, you got any money? Billie asked expectantly.
Tre looked at him with a shocked face, "Huh? Money? I don't have money what's that?"
Al and Billie exchanged glances in the mirror, "You didn't bring money?" Al asked surprisingly.
Suddenly Tre relaxed and laughed shoving Al, "Just kidding, I brought my plastic. I do have a job you know I'm not some lazy couch potato, i mean i may look like one but I'm not like you lot, lazy bastards!"
Al relaxed as did Billie, "Cool then we can live off you!" Billie decided.
Tre shrugged, "That's cool with me the bank pays me amazing money!"
"What....the....bank?" Al asked surprised.
"Yeah dude I got my cousin Soupy, who manages his own bank to lie and say i was a pro at handling money n shit, now i have a job in a bank getting ten thousand a year. Its fucking awesomeness!" Tre cried proudly.
"You work for a bank?" Billie asked, "But you're a drummer?"
"Ah huh, that is correct!"
Pleased with himself Tre settled down for a nap and Al climbed into the front seat, "He is unbelievable!"
A while later they checked into a motel and told them they would pay later when Tre did! Then they all went to check out the hippest Celebrity Strip Club in Vegas.
As they approached a burly fat man dressed in black stopped them.
"Excuse me lad's but I'm gonna need to see some ID, my three year old nephew looks older than you!" he snapped.
Tre made a face, "Just as well your three year old doesn't go to strip clubs then, eh?" Tre said jokingly and walked on but the bouncer stopped him again.
"Hold it i still haven't changed my mind, ID or no go!"
Tre looked hurt,"Dude don't you know who i am?"
"Should I?" the bouncer asked mockingly.
"Ah yeah! Regis at ten? Business episode?" Tre questioned.
"Oh yeah i remember you you're the kid that changed the face of the worlds security, your quite the celeb here," the bouncer said.
Tre looked confused, "Why though?"
"Are you kidding me you shed the true light on the worlds security, talking about those bank robbery's, you exposed the conspiracy that the security in this country is complete horse shit!"
Tre smiled proudly, "I did?"
"Yeah dude...oh hey go on in and here," he said fishing something from his pocket, "VIP pass...enjoy dude your gonna love it in there!"
Al and Billie watched Tre walk in and followed but only to be blocked by a strong arm. "Excuse me we're with him, he's our best friend!"
"Yeah right and I'm a woman! No ID no go!" he snapped and waved them away.
Feeling angry and betrayed by Tre they walked off, "Where the hell our we gonna get a fake ID at this time of the night?" Billie asked Al.
Al shrugged.
"Perhaps I can help!" A young male voice said form the shadows of the adjacent alley way.
"Who's there?" Billie said as he and Al jumped with fright.
"I can help you with the ID thing, my boss distributes them for a fair price," the kid said again.
"Oh yeah and how much is fair?" Al asked.
"Oh say about fifty bucks!" The kid replied.
"What? We can't afford that!" Billie snapped.
"Well there is another way you can pay the fee, i have a job i need two little wieners like you to do for me!"
"Oh yeah what's that?" Al wondered.
The kid stepped out from the shadows and Billie and Al jumped in surprised, he was no kid but a fully grown scary looking gangster man.
"Dude has your voice not broken yet?" Al said and Billie hit him in the arm.
"Shut up and listen to me! Do you accept?"
"Well we drove fifty thousand miles here to check out that celeb strip club and our rich and apparently famous friend ditched us so Yeah we accept!" Billie snapped.
"Okay there's a lingerie factory called 'Frilly Annes', you got transport?"
"Yeah we have a van!" Al replied.
"Goo your gonna need it, i need you to steal five boxes of red lacy underwear and take it to 404 Palm Dale Avenue by 11PM tonight, you fail and i toast your little shitty asses!"
"That's cool, so what else are we gonna get outta this?" Billie asked.
"Well you'll get a cut of the money, now skedattle!"
Billie and Al ran off to get their van.
MEANWHILE at the club Tre was rolling in women and dosh, why? Because a multi millionaire had walked up to him kissed him on the cheek and shook his hand asking for his autograph, then in thanks for shedding some light on the whole security polava he'd written him a check for ten thousand dollars.
Tre sat back in his chair with the biggest hard on ever, which wasn't very big!!
This road trip was turning out the best trip ever and Tre didn't want it to end!!
Reflexes kicked in and Billie slammed his foot on the break, "Geezus! Mike what's wrong?"
"Dude i have to graduate, it's the last week of school if i don't graduate I'll never forgive myself. It's a self preservation thing i have to do it!" Mike announced getting out of the old banger. He leaned in the open window, "Just meet me in Vegas in three day's then we can have the most fucking awesome time of our fucking fucked up teenage lives, okay?" Mike asked nodding hysterically.
Billie didn't care if Mike didn't come but he thought it would be nice to have him on the trip anyway!
"Yeah whatever dude!" Billie replied carelessly.
"Cool see you guys then!"
Tre looked from Al to Billie in the rear mirror, "Did he just say he was gonna graduate?"
"Yeah i think he did!" Al replied confused.
"Crazy fucker!" Tre snorted with laughter then leaned forward to speak to Billie Joe, "So Bill where to first mother fucker?"
"Um...i don't know where do you think we should go Tre?"
"Well I'd say Vegas but that's in three days!" Tre said glumly.
"No Dude, we can totally do this. Let's go to Vegas and play for three days until Mike comes!" Al suggested excitedly. Billie nodded thats cool with me.
The trip to Vegas took a while (I don't fucking know how long it takes) and they arrived sort of around ten o'clock or something like that.
"Will we check into a motel?" Al asked groggily.
"Well we're not gonna sleep in a card board box!" Billie replied with a mock laugh.
"Hey can we check into one of those tacky motels, with the tacky Moulin Rouge scene?" Tre asked excitedly.
"Sure we can, you got any money? Billie asked expectantly.
Tre looked at him with a shocked face, "Huh? Money? I don't have money what's that?"
Al and Billie exchanged glances in the mirror, "You didn't bring money?" Al asked surprisingly.
Suddenly Tre relaxed and laughed shoving Al, "Just kidding, I brought my plastic. I do have a job you know I'm not some lazy couch potato, i mean i may look like one but I'm not like you lot, lazy bastards!"
Al relaxed as did Billie, "Cool then we can live off you!" Billie decided.
Tre shrugged, "That's cool with me the bank pays me amazing money!"
"What....the....bank?" Al asked surprised.
"Yeah dude I got my cousin Soupy, who manages his own bank to lie and say i was a pro at handling money n shit, now i have a job in a bank getting ten thousand a year. Its fucking awesomeness!" Tre cried proudly.
"You work for a bank?" Billie asked, "But you're a drummer?"
"Ah huh, that is correct!"
Pleased with himself Tre settled down for a nap and Al climbed into the front seat, "He is unbelievable!"
A while later they checked into a motel and told them they would pay later when Tre did! Then they all went to check out the hippest Celebrity Strip Club in Vegas.
As they approached a burly fat man dressed in black stopped them.
"Excuse me lad's but I'm gonna need to see some ID, my three year old nephew looks older than you!" he snapped.
Tre made a face, "Just as well your three year old doesn't go to strip clubs then, eh?" Tre said jokingly and walked on but the bouncer stopped him again.
"Hold it i still haven't changed my mind, ID or no go!"
Tre looked hurt,"Dude don't you know who i am?"
"Should I?" the bouncer asked mockingly.
"Ah yeah! Regis at ten? Business episode?" Tre questioned.
"Oh yeah i remember you you're the kid that changed the face of the worlds security, your quite the celeb here," the bouncer said.
Tre looked confused, "Why though?"
"Are you kidding me you shed the true light on the worlds security, talking about those bank robbery's, you exposed the conspiracy that the security in this country is complete horse shit!"
Tre smiled proudly, "I did?"
"Yeah dude...oh hey go on in and here," he said fishing something from his pocket, "VIP pass...enjoy dude your gonna love it in there!"
Al and Billie watched Tre walk in and followed but only to be blocked by a strong arm. "Excuse me we're with him, he's our best friend!"
"Yeah right and I'm a woman! No ID no go!" he snapped and waved them away.
Feeling angry and betrayed by Tre they walked off, "Where the hell our we gonna get a fake ID at this time of the night?" Billie asked Al.
Al shrugged.
"Perhaps I can help!" A young male voice said form the shadows of the adjacent alley way.
"Who's there?" Billie said as he and Al jumped with fright.
"I can help you with the ID thing, my boss distributes them for a fair price," the kid said again.
"Oh yeah and how much is fair?" Al asked.
"Oh say about fifty bucks!" The kid replied.
"What? We can't afford that!" Billie snapped.
"Well there is another way you can pay the fee, i have a job i need two little wieners like you to do for me!"
"Oh yeah what's that?" Al wondered.
The kid stepped out from the shadows and Billie and Al jumped in surprised, he was no kid but a fully grown scary looking gangster man.
"Dude has your voice not broken yet?" Al said and Billie hit him in the arm.
"Shut up and listen to me! Do you accept?"
"Well we drove fifty thousand miles here to check out that celeb strip club and our rich and apparently famous friend ditched us so Yeah we accept!" Billie snapped.
"Okay there's a lingerie factory called 'Frilly Annes', you got transport?"
"Yeah we have a van!" Al replied.
"Goo your gonna need it, i need you to steal five boxes of red lacy underwear and take it to 404 Palm Dale Avenue by 11PM tonight, you fail and i toast your little shitty asses!"
"That's cool, so what else are we gonna get outta this?" Billie asked.
"Well you'll get a cut of the money, now skedattle!"
Billie and Al ran off to get their van.
MEANWHILE at the club Tre was rolling in women and dosh, why? Because a multi millionaire had walked up to him kissed him on the cheek and shook his hand asking for his autograph, then in thanks for shedding some light on the whole security polava he'd written him a check for ten thousand dollars.
Tre sat back in his chair with the biggest hard on ever, which wasn't very big!!
This road trip was turning out the best trip ever and Tre didn't want it to end!!