Don't Try and Change Me When It Won't Friggin' Work, for I Am Billie Joe Armstrong!

THE GREEN DAY ROADTRIP

The club was amazing, water fountains on every strong marble table with a girl in underwear dancing around them, getting so wet that they went see through.
Hard-Ons R Us!!!!!
They walked over to the stage where a cat walk of the fittest women were collecting dollars in the waist band, wearing some of the fittest and most revealing underwear they had ever seen!
"Oi! Why the fuck are you so late?" a familiar voice yelled behind them.
"Tre! So nice to, bloody, see you, asshole!" Billie snapped with sarcasm.
"What are you talking about, slappy?" Tre snapped back.
"We're talking about our so called friend who ditched our asses and left us outside, you could have ordered that bouncer to let us in, and instead you fucked off!"
Al yelled.
"Yeah we had to steal underwear to get fake ID's to get in here!" Billie added.
"Dude's you seem like you have been through a lot but hey, tits galore in front of you what would you do?" Tre said defensively.
Al looked around, "He actually makes a good point Bill!"
"Yeah okay, let's forget it and have some fun!"
For hours they added their own dollars in the waist band, swam under girls and drank tequila and lemon like there was no tomorrow!!!!
Suddenly Tre's Cell went off, "Hello?"
"Oh hey boss!" Tre said delightfully, Mike and Billie exchanged glances, he was fired for sure!
"What's the noise? Oh ah... I'm in the shower and listening to music at the same time...ah huh...oh well Robson told me he was giving me the files personally... oh really...oh well I understand sir...take care...bye...bye!"
"Your got fired didn't you?" Billie asked.
"Ha...no...Robson got fired...I got his job...I'm senior supervisor! Oh and I got a raise!" Tre said happily.
"Unbe-fucking-leivable!" Al said.
Suddenly the music stopped and everything went dark except for a light on the stage, "AND NOW PLEASE, WELCOME ON STAGE, THE ONE, THE ONLY, SEXIEST BITCH IN THIS CLUB AND POSSIBLY THE WORLD, MISS GEORGIANIA SEXALOT!!!!"
Every one cheered as a girl wearing a white sparkly Unitard with dangly diamond tassels like the chick Renee Zelleweger did in Chicago, black suspenders, a white Stetson and white ankle length fur coat. She struck a jazzy pose, holding a black stick that had a huge crystal on the top. She also wore white elbow length gloves.
Around her neck and hanging from her ears were the most expensive diamond pieces you'd ever seen in your life.
"Wow," Billie muttered,
"Wow," Al muttered,
"Can I have her?" Tre asked eagerly tapping one foot and getting the biggest hard on ever.
Then to everyone's surprise the girl began to sing!

"Come on babe
Why don't we paint the town?
And all that Jazz"

She started moving slowly as other dancers arrived, male dancers, slipped off her coat for her and proceeded to touch her and lift her about.

"I'm gonna rouge my knees
And roll my stockings down
And all that jazz!"
Again she began moving into another pose and as she prepared to sing the next verse she was lifted into... WTF? SPLITS... ..ouch but sexy, all the lads could think about was how open they could get her.

"Start the car
I know a whoopee spot
Where the gin is cold
But the piano's hot!"

She struck a vibrant pose as she possessed the floor again just like she did to every one in the room!

"It's just a noisy hall
Where there's a nightly brawl
And all
That
Jazz"

She whispered the last line seductively, actually it was just like Chicago only she didn't look anything like Catherine Zeta Jones, she looked hotter!

"And all that Jazz!"
She started shoving her ass about by this stage;

"So lick your hair
And wear your buckle shoes
And all that Jazz"

And now she was running to each end of the stage flirting with her audience of hungry for sex men!
"I hear that Father Dip
Is gonna blow the blues
And all that Jazz!"
"Hold on, hon
We're gonna bunny hug
I bought some aspirin
Down at United Drug
I case you shake apart
And want a brand new start
To do that-Jazz"- she whispered again
Her company lifted her up again and she was spun around lying in crucifix pose as her men landed her perfectly on her feet as she still stood in the same pose only a little to the side-seductively as she whispered Jazz.
"Find a flask
We're playing fast and loose... .And all that jazz!"

She glided her hands over her you know what's -
"Right up here
Is where I store the juice
And all that jazz"
Then her men lifted her on one guys shoulder as though she were side saddling a horse, he walked her around in a circle before coming to a stop all the men (who were dressed in Sparkly white shirts and black silky trousers) gathered around reaching into her;
"Come on, babe
We're gonna brush the sky
I bet you luck Lindy
Never flew so high
'Cause in the stratosphere
How could he lend an ear
to all that Jazz?"
They then put her on the floor as she broke into a new routine, obviously keeping her efforts low so that she appeared lady like all the same.

"Oh, you're gonna see your Sheba shimmy shake
And all that jazz!"

She ran down the steps and started kicking the hats of some guys in the front row before returning to the stage leaving them staring hungrily after her.

"Oh, she's gonna shimmy 'till her garters break
And all that jazz!"

She stood spread legged facing the audience and started shaking her body in tiny vibrations, like belly dancers do, those tassels shook violently.
"Show her where to park her girdle
Oh, her mother's blood'd curdle!"

If she'd hear her baby's queer
For all that jazz

"And all that... .

And all that jazz!"

They thought she was finished bun then one of the men ran forward ducking his head in between her legs picking her up as she went, then walked in a circle with her I the same position... she had strong legs.

"No, I'm no one's wife
But, Oh, I love my life
And all that Jaaaaaaaaaaaaazz!

She pushed the kneeling guy in front of her to the floor;

[COMPANY]
That Jazz!

She ended in splits on the floor on top of the guy she'd pushed looking up at the audience as he played dead.

Everyone cheered and whooped and hollered.
Suddenly she was picked up set gracefully on her feet like a princess.

"Good Evening my horny gentlemen!" she yelled down her mic that was hanging on her forehead barely unnoticeable.
"Tonight I have a special treat for you lot!" she smiled, "I have to choose three gentlemen to come up here and experience a dance!"
Everyone waved their hands in the air including Al, Billie and Tre.
"Hmmm who should I choose?" She said scanning her audience her eyes fixed on Billie, Tre and Al, "You three, you don't look a day over twelve come on up here!"
They ran toward the stage and male dancers appeared placing three thrones on the stage with women in them before disappearing back stage again.
"Aww I wanted a lap dance from you!" Tre whined to Georgiana, who laughed.
"Oh I'm not going to be the one dancing and neither or they... ."
"Then who... ." Tre began actually realizing what the deal was.
"You are!" Georgiana announced excitedly, "Ladies and gentlemen who wants to see these three ass holes shaking it loose?"
Everyone stated yelling yes to her.
"Okay then lets begin," She yelled.
"No way dude!" Billie said and they all began to walk away.
"Ah. Ah. Ah! It's either this or him!" Georgiana said pointing to someone in the corner.
"A feminine looking man dressed in a ladies outfit waved cheekily at them just like granny.
"Holy shit!" They all breathed.
"Let's do the dance!" Al said.
That corny 'In the Jungle the Mighty Jungle' song came on and they three exchanged nervous glances.
"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!" Tre yelled.
"And you have to sing!" Georgiana announced and everyone cheered in agreement..

They all took a girl each and began to sing and dance, and terribly.
Billie's girl was shouting things like, "Shake it shorty!" and "Short stuff keep it moving!"
Al's girl was shouting, "Make me horny boy, sing mother fucker!"
Tre's girl was actually enjoying his shaking the ass dance.
They all looked like Jim from American Pie.

"Wimba-wep a wimba-wep a wimba-wep... " They began.
Tre started waving his ass in the gingers face and she was giggling.
Billie's girl produced a whip, "Move shorty move!" she yelled.
Billie winced as she hit him; "OW!" he jumped and started moving in circles shaking his ass.
Al was moving his hips and shaking his 'invisible boobs' in her face.
"Oh that's it bad boy, bad boy!"
Tre was loving the show as he sang as he 'cha cha'd' down to the audience spinning his finger and arm around as he went just like a Macarena dance. He started blowing kisses as he squatted down and a hand on his head and other on his hip as he began thrusting into the crowd, the crowd laughed and put a few dollars in his waist band. He took the money kissed it and put it into his pocket.
Billie started doing 'Saturday Night Fever' moves and grabbing his Knob like Michael Jackson, the crowd jeered.
Al had started doing 'The Run' punching his fists in front of him as she pulled them back in a on the spot run motion.
"Oh you are so good!" His girl announced slapping his ass.
Little did the boys know that there was a camera man filming the show for a documentary on the club that would actually be on cable TV and the club's website.
When the song ended Georgiana clapped her hands, "Well done but there must be a loser, Ginger? How was your guy?"
Ginger smirked, "Ten, he was amazing," she winked at Tre and Tre smiled shyly.
Every one cheered when Tre was given a ten.
"And Dina what about you?"
Dina waved at Al, "He was cool, but not as active as that other Dude Tre, I give him Six!"
The crowd cheered again and Al took a bow giving Tre a high five.
"And Evangeline?" Georgiana asked.
"Well Georgia I'm sorry to say but he SUCKED. He didn't make me WANT him he was lifeless but he gets one point for grabbing his Nob!"
Billie looked care free what the fuck did he care for?
"Well you two over there you can both be winners!" Georgia explained then turned shamefully to Billie, "As for you Billie Boy, you get him!" she said pointing to the pimp who licked his lips and rubbed his hand together hungrily.
"No..nnnnnnno fucking way!" Billie muttered as two guys came and dragged him from the stage followed by the tranny granny.
"NO... TRE... AL...HELP... NOOOOOOO!" Billie yelled.
"He's off to the dungeons!" Georgia said with an amusing giggle.
"As for you two you get pleasure from your women in the pad!" Georgia said then that Fame song started and she started singing to hit in performance for the audience.
Tre and Al were to mesmerized by their women that they didn't even notice Billie had been taken off to the dungeons by the tranny granny.