Don't Try and Change Me When It Won't Friggin' Work, for I Am Billie Joe Armstrong!

Billie whimpered as he was changed to a metal table and had his clothes removed.
"You don't understand, my friend is the guy who revealed the security scams he won't like you doing this, he'll sue you to the hilt!"
"Whatever, shorty!" The tranny granny growled.
"My name is Billie not Shorty, and it's Mr Armstrong to you buddy, now let me outta here!" Billie said through gritted teeth.
"Yes you are short, your puny look at you with that shag of hair, Harry Potter is fitter than you!" The tranny granny growled back hastily.
"Fuck you, you gay bastard, I'm gonna kill you do you hear me. DO YOU HEAR ME?"

MEANWHILE

Tre moaned as his woman... Ginger he thought, gave him a big fat whopping BJ.
Al was in the next room with his lady or so he thought anyway.
Tre bit his lip and closed his eyes, she was good... no better... fucking amazing... fucking fantastic... fucking whatever!
Tre groaned, "Oh baby... don't stop, don't stop!"
"Wouldn't dream of it!" The girl replied cheekily rising from the hot water.
"You just did... "Tre replied glancing at her sceptically.
"Sorry master!" she said before returning to her job.
"Ohhhhhh, my God, your soooo forgiven!" He gripped the bath side as sweat coursed his naked torso.
"Holy mother of god... ahhhhhhh... where did you learnt to do that?" he asked as he came.
"If I told you I'd have to kill you!" she replied cheekily.
She was looking at Tre expectantly, "Is that it do you want me to go?" Tre asked awkwardly.
"Hell no, its my turn and she shoved him aside taking his place and placing her legs on each side of the bath.
"Oh, yesssss ma'am!" Tre said diving into the bubble covered water.

In the next room Al was in the big round Hot Tub, the bubbles rippling around them, His lady was wasting no time whatsoever.
Al was obviously a couple of steps ahead of Tre and loved every minute of sex with this big chested girl. Much to his dismay she stood up, "Hey lady where you going?" Al cried.
"To bed. Join me?" she asked.
"Ya-ha!" Al said following her.

In the front of the club things were quieter as people began to leave. Georgiana was on the phone when she was approached by her sister, Hailey. "Oh hey Hales, What's up biatch?" she asked.
"Where are they?" The new man/she growled.
"Ah who?" Georgiana asked.
"Shorty and his tranny granny!" Hailey replied.
"Oh well shorty lost in the dance contest so he's with Gary in the dungeon and the other dude is with Dina in Pad number three!"
Hailey pulled out a gun. "Whoa! What the hell is that for?"
"They joshed Fred into drugs they're gonna pay!"
"Shit well maybe you should think this over! I mean maybe it was a mistake!"
"Doesn't matter Georgia Ashley and Fred are being questioned by the police!"
"Well let me go and get him!" Georgia nodded, "I'll bring him to you!"
"Okay!" Hailey growled.
George ran down the hall still dressed in her clad white including the coat. She had snatched the silenced pistol and stuck it in her suspenders.
When she reached the dungeon she heard 'Shorty' screaming,
"Fuck you, you gay bastard, I'm gonna kill you do you hear me. DO YOU HEAR MEEEEEEE... ... ."
"Gary, open up!" George demanded and a few seconds later it opened.
"Aww Georgie why did ya have to spoil my fun!" Gary moaned.
"Stop whining, Hailey is here and she's not happy! Come on Short stuff put your clothes on!"
"My name isn't shorty or short stuff it's Billie, and thanks for releasing me!"
"Look Billie Boy I dunno what you did to my sisters but they're here and not happy about what you did! Whatever that was!" George warned.
"Sisters. How many are there of you?" Billie wondered.
"Me, Hailey, Fred, Paula, Michelle and Edwina! I'm actually the only real girl, they used to be men; Hailey was Howard, Frederica was... well... Fred, Paula was Paul. Michelle was Michael and Edwina was Edward!"
"Holy shit, and they're all after me?" Billie asked.
"You and your friend with the blonde hair!" George announced.
"Al he's with his chick, we have to get them!"
"Follow me!"

They ran to the Pad hall and knocked on door number three, "Al open up!"
Al was asleep beside Dina, "Billie is that you man?" he replied groggily.
"Get up and get dressed and get your ass out here, those man/bitches are here for us, they know Al, they know!" Billie cried out.
"Get Tre and ill be out in a sec!"
Billie banged on Tre's door, Tre emerged looking dishevelled, "She attacked me, Bitch tried to drown me!"
"Oh yeah that's Ginger, used to be Gerald!" George informed.
"What?" Billie asked.
Tre cried, tears welling, "She Blew me Billie and then it was my turn to Blow her... .him... God I don't know what she issssss!" Tre wailed.
Al joined them tucking his shirt into his trousers, "Let's get the fuck out of here!"
Suddenly someone spoke over the intercom, "I know where you are George, Al and Shorty!"
"It's fucking Billie and yes I'm small but can't you fucking accept that!"
"I'm coming for you... ." Hailey said followed by the song thriller played over the intercom system.
They were shown out by George through the fire escape and Billie jumped into the Van followed by Tre, "Aren't you coming?" Billie asked the beautiful original Georgiana who stood on the fire escape watching them leave.
"No I better get back to my sisters and hold em' of your tail!"
"Take care then!" Billie said sadly.
Al piped up, "There's the bitches van with the edible underwear!"
"Al no, leave it!" Billie yelled out the window.
"Are you kidding me? Fuck no those whores don't deserve edible underwear!" he yelled and ran to the other van.
Tre helped him as they grabbed the box they recognized to be the one with 'Columbia's Specialty' in it.
Al and Tre threw it into the van and they sped off to their motel and to safety.
"Oh I have a missed call from Mike," Billie said!

OAKLAND

The next morning, a day after Billie, Tre and Al left for Vegas, he lay in bed wondering had he made the right choice, it was the last day of school, a Friday and the day of graduation. The maroon suit with the dorky hat hung from his wardrobe. Mike rented a room in Billie's house and Billie's Mom and Brad where downstairs at Breakfast. He got dressed and joined them.
"Morning Mike!" Billie's mom said.
"Morning," Mike replied.
"Looking forward to graduation?" She asked him.
Mike muttered a reply.
"Ah where's Billie Joe?" she asked.
"To hell if I know!" Mike replied, he didn't want to lie to the woman who put him up for so long.
"Oh okay well as long as he arrives at graduation!"
"He didn't graduate, he sucked!" Mike replied and got up, "Sorry," he replied to a shocked Billie's mom.
Graduation sucked he got his diploma but wished Billie was there with him, they could have even got a dorky photo done together, another memory, but Mike was all alone.
Okay enough sad shit, this IS after all a comedy.
"Hey Dirnt! Part at Lucas's place tonight be there?" Gerry yelled and Mike nodded.

That night at the party Mike arrived and was handed a beer concoction the crazy bastard Lucas had fixed him, we're watching that documentary on the Starkers Titty Club on cable," Lucas informed Mike, "Should be a good show!"
"Nice!" Mike smiled and ran to the living room where everyone was gathered facing the widescreen, Lucas was quite well off.
"We welcome you to Starkers Titty Club where the stupid shorty dance contest is going on live, Tommy you there?"
"Yes I am Abigail, this is fantastic just look at these wankers!"
Mike stared in awe at Billie, Tre and Al dancing crazily on the stage of Starkers Titty Club.
Someone yelled, "Hey that's Billie Joe Armstrong right?"
Another yelled, "Hey that's that drummer from the Lookouts!"
"And Abigail if you can believe your eyes you can see that that is the kid there that exposed the security faults!" Tommy said.
Mike got up and walked out, when he got outside he called Billie's cell, they were bound to be unaware of the camera guy, but there was no answer. He returned to the room where he saw Tre dancing down at the audience.
Crazy bastard!
When the documentary finished Mike returned home, he called an early night.
At one in the morning Mike's cell went off.
"Hello?"
"Mike you'll never believe what just happened!"
"I know I saw it on Cable just now!"
"What? Your not serious? Us dancing right?"
"Yeah Billie, it was live on cable!" Mike explained.
"This is terrible my boss is bound to fire my ass now!" Tre moaned.
Tre's mobile rang, "Oh hello Sir!"
Tre made a Shhh sign with his finger on his lips, Billie and Al looked at each other, and Tre was sure to be fired now. Billie whispered to Mike to hold on.
"... yes sir... I understand sir," Tre hung up.
"Well what happened... your boss saw it didn't he?" Al said.
"Ha no he was thanking me for doing such a good job on this new case! Geez thank God above he didn't see the show!" Tre said.
"YOU AREN'T EVEN AT WORK!" Al yelled.
"I so have, not in the physical sense but verbally I have," Tre said waving his phone to Al, "Any way Mr Trent never leaves head office so how can he possibly know that I'm not there?" Tre remarked with a smile.

Billie went back to Mike, "Mike how was graduation?"
"Sucked."
"Oh that bad?"
"Sucked."
"Okay well are you coming here, because we have edible underwear and Columbia weed!"
"Yes and when I do I can't wait to here what the fuck you guys have been doing!"