I Think I Love You
Everyone You Look Up To Is Really As ***ed Up As You
-Aron’s POV- (Next Day)
“So…how do you all know each other?” Dylan asked from the living room. We were all up now and Matt, Nina and Kai were moving her old drum set into a storage type thing and her new one, which Matt absolutely worshipped, into their practice area thing. We heard Nina, Maddie, and Kai all laugh. I noticed Jaden and Leo grimace.
“Was it that bad?” I asked. The laughed dryly.
“You have no idea” Leo replied.
“You were a bitch then and you’re a bigger bitch now what happened?” we heard one of the guys say; I think his name was MacKenzyie.
“Fuck yeah whore I know I was a bitch and I am your life so I have to be a bigger bitch!” Kai replied laughing. This sent a few of the other guys we met yesterday laugh.
“Now why would you say that Angel?” another guy asked, Mark I believe.
“Because since I’m his life I can’t be a slut that’d make life too easy!” Kai shouted back. We all laughed at this. They all seemed so close to each other.
“Maddie, Kai, Lita and Jasmine met in Kai’s aunt’s dance studio. They were like the better group as we called them. They were friends since very young ages. When they entered third grade Nina moved to LA. Her father traveled a lot and he finally got a somewhat stable stationary job here. Deavon, Mark and I were pretty good friends when we met Nina. She was being bullied by some punks in the park. Apparently Jaden and Leo saw it too because they went running towards her as did the three of us.” MacKenzyie started. Jaden and Leo laughed a little.
“We started to hang out and showed Nina around LA before we took Nina home. She was supposed to have dinner with her father’s boss who happened to be Mark’s mum. Lita and Mark argued a lot over who should be Nina’s best friend. Mark said he was better at understanding people and Lita said that he was already close to Kai so it wasn’t fair that he was close to Nina too.” Jaden said laughing.
“Who actually became her best friend?” Jordan asked.
“Kai and Madeline.” Leo said.
“Madeline was Jasmine’s little sister and since Lita, Kenziye and Jasmine were extremely close Madeline was usually dragged along for whatever we had planned that day. The first time we all actually got together as a group was in the hall of our elementary school because Nina and Kai got detention. Man that was hilarious.” Deavon said. Matt and Nina came back upstairs a moment later and sat with us.
“Where’s Kai?” I asked looking around. Everyone went quiet. Nina, Deavon, MacKenzyie, Mark, Maddie, Jaden, Ashley, Leo, Katrina, Angel, Rei and Lyla had a look of pain etched onto their faces and tears in their eyes.
“Kai is close to all of us in many different ways but Lita was her best female friend. Madeline and Jasmine were like her sisters. She still isn’t over their deaths and it was this day exactly three years ago that she found out she’d lost a sister and best friend. She usually isn’t active on this day but she tried for your sakes. When we mentioned the three of them I can only imagine the pain she felt.” Nina said not making any eye contact. A moment later Mark got up and went downstairs. He stayed there for a few minutes before coming back up.
“She won’t say a thing. She’s just sitting there with her guitar strumming songs that we haven’t heard in forever.” He said before sitting down.
-Jorel’s POV-
Half an hour passed after Mark came back up the stairs. Kai was still downstairs doing god knows what. Maddie was staring at the TV with a curious stare.
“Maddie do you want to turn the TV on?” Matt asked looking between her and the TV. She shook her head before we heard footsteps coming up the stairs. We waited for Kai to open the door and when she did we hoped that she was stable. She opened the door went to the stereo and turned it on. A song we’d never heard of came on.
My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I am leaving out today
I just saw Haley's comet, she waved
Said "why you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in this stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I am not angry I am just saying
Sometimes good bye is a second chance
Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
this is my one and only voice
so listen close it's only for today
I just saw Haley's comet, she waved
Said "why you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in this stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I am not angry I am just saying,
Sometimes good bye is a second chance
Here is my chance
This is my chance
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I am not angry I am just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
It seemed like it had a purpose to it. The next one came on and I heard Maddie give a soft cry. Kai had sunk to the floor sometime during the song and Jordan was holding her while she cried.
There's a girl back home I use to know
She cried herself to sleep every night
We all knew
We all knew
Only girl that compromise
Strike with the devil to save a night
We all knew
We all knew
She tried to call me a month ago
To sing me a song that she just wrote
But I wasn't home
I should've know
That time had taken its toll
She had no place to go
They found her body resting by the river
I never said good bye
I wish I would have tried
I couldn't hear her cries
As she filled her veins with lies
Until she saw the light
I remember we would hide behind the trees
Smoking cigarettes until our throats would bleed
Those were the days
Those were the days
Yeah
Never scared
Never worried that the summer would end
Invincible to every sharp end
We drove so fast
Thought last
But time had taken its toll
She had no place to go
They found her body resting by the river
Oh I never said good bye
I wish I would have tried
I couldn't hear her cries
As she filled her veins with lies
Until she saw the light
Madeline
Madeline
You will be remembered
Madeline
Madeline
We still have September
Madeline
Madeline
We'll see you on the other side
Die
If I could turn back time
I'd find a way to remind you
That somehow you could try to give in and fight the good fight
Oh you didn't have to die
You filled lies
My precious Madeline
That’s when I realized that the songs they were playing were contributes, remembrances if you will, to the three girls who died. The next song was like the first two.
I came by today to see you
Oh I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you and never let go
Oh it's kept me awake nights, wondering
I lie in the dark, just asking why
I've always been told
you won't be called home
till it's your time
I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe
and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
is heaven was needing a hero like you
I remember the last time I saw you
You held your head up proud
I laughed inside when I saw
how you were standing out in the crowd
Your such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more
Cause heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe
and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
is heaven was needing a hero like you
Cause heaven was needing a hero
that’s you.
It hurt to see Kai cry, hell it hurt to see all of them cry. The next song came on without hesitation.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young
Like the story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder
Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young
Like the story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no-one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday.
Someday, someday, someday.
The next song was a bit different than the others.
Girl of sixteen, whole life ahead of her
Slashed her wrists, bored with life
Didn’t succeed, thank the lord
For small mercies
Fighting back the tears, mother reads the note again
Sixteen candles burn in her mind
She takes the blame, it’s always the same
She goes down on her knees and prays
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
Girl of eighteen, fell in love with everything
Found new life in Jesus Christ
Hit by a car, ended up
On a life support machine
Summers day, as she passed away
Birds were singing in the summer sky
Then came the rain, and once again
A tear fell from her mother’s eye
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
It went on like this for a while before Kai fell asleep in Jordan’s arms. It took about ten minutes for everyone to stop crying. We decided to order pizza then sleep. And that’s exactly what we did.
“So…how do you all know each other?” Dylan asked from the living room. We were all up now and Matt, Nina and Kai were moving her old drum set into a storage type thing and her new one, which Matt absolutely worshipped, into their practice area thing. We heard Nina, Maddie, and Kai all laugh. I noticed Jaden and Leo grimace.
“Was it that bad?” I asked. The laughed dryly.
“You have no idea” Leo replied.
“You were a bitch then and you’re a bigger bitch now what happened?” we heard one of the guys say; I think his name was MacKenzyie.
“Fuck yeah whore I know I was a bitch and I am your life so I have to be a bigger bitch!” Kai replied laughing. This sent a few of the other guys we met yesterday laugh.
“Now why would you say that Angel?” another guy asked, Mark I believe.
“Because since I’m his life I can’t be a slut that’d make life too easy!” Kai shouted back. We all laughed at this. They all seemed so close to each other.
“Maddie, Kai, Lita and Jasmine met in Kai’s aunt’s dance studio. They were like the better group as we called them. They were friends since very young ages. When they entered third grade Nina moved to LA. Her father traveled a lot and he finally got a somewhat stable stationary job here. Deavon, Mark and I were pretty good friends when we met Nina. She was being bullied by some punks in the park. Apparently Jaden and Leo saw it too because they went running towards her as did the three of us.” MacKenzyie started. Jaden and Leo laughed a little.
“We started to hang out and showed Nina around LA before we took Nina home. She was supposed to have dinner with her father’s boss who happened to be Mark’s mum. Lita and Mark argued a lot over who should be Nina’s best friend. Mark said he was better at understanding people and Lita said that he was already close to Kai so it wasn’t fair that he was close to Nina too.” Jaden said laughing.
“Who actually became her best friend?” Jordan asked.
“Kai and Madeline.” Leo said.
“Madeline was Jasmine’s little sister and since Lita, Kenziye and Jasmine were extremely close Madeline was usually dragged along for whatever we had planned that day. The first time we all actually got together as a group was in the hall of our elementary school because Nina and Kai got detention. Man that was hilarious.” Deavon said. Matt and Nina came back upstairs a moment later and sat with us.
“Where’s Kai?” I asked looking around. Everyone went quiet. Nina, Deavon, MacKenzyie, Mark, Maddie, Jaden, Ashley, Leo, Katrina, Angel, Rei and Lyla had a look of pain etched onto their faces and tears in their eyes.
“Kai is close to all of us in many different ways but Lita was her best female friend. Madeline and Jasmine were like her sisters. She still isn’t over their deaths and it was this day exactly three years ago that she found out she’d lost a sister and best friend. She usually isn’t active on this day but she tried for your sakes. When we mentioned the three of them I can only imagine the pain she felt.” Nina said not making any eye contact. A moment later Mark got up and went downstairs. He stayed there for a few minutes before coming back up.
“She won’t say a thing. She’s just sitting there with her guitar strumming songs that we haven’t heard in forever.” He said before sitting down.
-Jorel’s POV-
Half an hour passed after Mark came back up the stairs. Kai was still downstairs doing god knows what. Maddie was staring at the TV with a curious stare.
“Maddie do you want to turn the TV on?” Matt asked looking between her and the TV. She shook her head before we heard footsteps coming up the stairs. We waited for Kai to open the door and when she did we hoped that she was stable. She opened the door went to the stereo and turned it on. A song we’d never heard of came on.
My eyes are open wide
By the way I made it through the day
I watch the world outside
By the way I am leaving out today
I just saw Haley's comet, she waved
Said "why you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in this stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I am not angry I am just saying
Sometimes good bye is a second chance
Please don't cry one tear for me
I'm not afraid of what I have to say
this is my one and only voice
so listen close it's only for today
I just saw Haley's comet, she waved
Said "why you always running in place?"
Even the man in the moon disappeared
Somewhere in this stratosphere
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I am not angry I am just saying,
Sometimes good bye is a second chance
Here is my chance
This is my chance
Tell my mother, tell my father
I've done the best I can
To make them realize
This is my life
I hope they understand
I am not angry I am just saying
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
Sometimes goodbye is a second chance
It seemed like it had a purpose to it. The next one came on and I heard Maddie give a soft cry. Kai had sunk to the floor sometime during the song and Jordan was holding her while she cried.
There's a girl back home I use to know
She cried herself to sleep every night
We all knew
We all knew
Only girl that compromise
Strike with the devil to save a night
We all knew
We all knew
She tried to call me a month ago
To sing me a song that she just wrote
But I wasn't home
I should've know
That time had taken its toll
She had no place to go
They found her body resting by the river
I never said good bye
I wish I would have tried
I couldn't hear her cries
As she filled her veins with lies
Until she saw the light
I remember we would hide behind the trees
Smoking cigarettes until our throats would bleed
Those were the days
Those were the days
Yeah
Never scared
Never worried that the summer would end
Invincible to every sharp end
We drove so fast
Thought last
But time had taken its toll
She had no place to go
They found her body resting by the river
Oh I never said good bye
I wish I would have tried
I couldn't hear her cries
As she filled her veins with lies
Until she saw the light
Madeline
Madeline
You will be remembered
Madeline
Madeline
We still have September
Madeline
Madeline
We'll see you on the other side
Die
If I could turn back time
I'd find a way to remind you
That somehow you could try to give in and fight the good fight
Oh you didn't have to die
You filled lies
My precious Madeline
That’s when I realized that the songs they were playing were contributes, remembrances if you will, to the three girls who died. The next song was like the first two.
I came by today to see you
Oh I had to let you know
If I knew the last time that I held you was the last time
I'd have held you and never let go
Oh it's kept me awake nights, wondering
I lie in the dark, just asking why
I've always been told
you won't be called home
till it's your time
I guess heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe
and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
is heaven was needing a hero like you
I remember the last time I saw you
You held your head up proud
I laughed inside when I saw
how you were standing out in the crowd
Your such a part of who I am
Now that part will just be void
No matter how much I need you now
Heaven needed you more
Cause heaven was needing a hero
Somebody just like you
Brave enough to stand up for what you believe
and follow it through
When I try to make it make sense in my mind
The only conclusion I come to
is heaven was needing a hero like you
Cause heaven was needing a hero
that’s you.
It hurt to see Kai cry, hell it hurt to see all of them cry. The next song came on without hesitation.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
I feel you everywhere I go.
I see your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing' in the rain.
I still can't believe you're gone.
It ain't fair: you died too young
Like the story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing' no-one could take your place.
An' sometimes I wonder
Who'd you be today?
Would you see the world? Would you chase your dreams?
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies?
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy.
It ain't fair: you died too young
Like the story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away.
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing no-one could take your place.
And sometimes I wonder
Who you'd be today?
Today, today, today.
Today, today, today.
Sunny days seem to hurt the most.
I wear the pain like a heavy coat.
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know I'll see you again someday.
Someday, someday, someday.
The next song was a bit different than the others.
Girl of sixteen, whole life ahead of her
Slashed her wrists, bored with life
Didn’t succeed, thank the lord
For small mercies
Fighting back the tears, mother reads the note again
Sixteen candles burn in her mind
She takes the blame, it’s always the same
She goes down on her knees and prays
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
Girl of eighteen, fell in love with everything
Found new life in Jesus Christ
Hit by a car, ended up
On a life support machine
Summers day, as she passed away
Birds were singing in the summer sky
Then came the rain, and once again
A tear fell from her mother’s eye
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
I don’t want to start any blasphemous rumours
But I think that gods got a sick sense of humor
And when I die I expect to find him laughing
It went on like this for a while before Kai fell asleep in Jordan’s arms. It took about ten minutes for everyone to stop crying. We decided to order pizza then sleep. And that’s exactly what we did.