You Should've Come With A Warning

Ch. 13

“Do you want me to stay the night?” Sid asked breathlessly, the tips of our noses touching.

I shook my head no and gave him a meek smile. “I thought we were taking things slow?”

“You’re right. I’m sorry- you’re absolutely right,” he laughed, took his hands off my waist and held them up. “Are you alright? Was everything-is everything…good?” Just as quickly his hands were tightly holding my waist.

I nodded, “of course.”

“You don’t seem thrilled.” Of course I wasn’t. I was pining over the man I was in love with and feeling like a whore every second I spent with Sid-feelings which I was going to need to get over immediately.

“It’s all good, you got me,” I quickly kissed him and felt him breathe me in.

“I can’t wait for the game tomorrow, knowing you’re going to be there and being able to look at you in the stands…” he sighed, “it’s going to be awesome.”

“Well it helps that you’re the golden boy of the league,” I wasn’t comfortable with the seriousness. I kissed him one last time and then he was gone.

When I woke up in the morning I didn’t feel too good about myself. I didn’t sleep with Sid-we hadn’t had sex- but we did enough. Jordan hadn’t left my mind and I couldn’t figure out if I was angrier at the fact that I couldn’t shake him or that I still loved him. Either way, it wasn’t exactly a fair situation to Sid but I didn’t really care as much as I cared about how Jordan would feel when he found out, and it was inevitable.

I went to work and moped through my day. I missed getting surprise bouquets of roses with Jordan declaring his love and how sorry he was. I didn’t know if he was over it or if he was playing a game. I still didn’t know if he went home with someone on New Year’s and the thought of him being with other girls still drove me crazy. The guys had a game that night and I was going like I usually did. The only difference was that I was going for Sid- we were taking things slow, we were trying to be together- I was trying to learn to love him.

When I got to the arena the puck was just about to drop, I had been running late from work and didn’t have time to run home and change like I usually did. This meant that I wasn’t in Penguin attire, which also meant it was the first time in as long as I could remember that I wasn’t wearing Jordan’s jersey. It was going to bother him- it had to. If he cared about me even slightly, when he noticed it-and he would really quickly- it would hurt. It hurt me and I was dating someone else.

I tried really hard not to look at Jordan, I tried not to make eye contact with him, but I hadn’t mastered the skill. He kept looking at me and I couldn’t pretend I didn’t notice. I tried to regroup, take a deep breath, and focus on Sid- he was now my….boyfriend. I didn’t like the bitter taste that admission left in my mouth, but it was true. I stole glances at Sidney, he barely took his eyes off me when he was on the bench. He was focused but I could see the excitement in his eyes knowing I was there and I was his. When Sid scored the game-winning goal with seconds left in the game and looked right at me it finally hit Jordan. I nervously looked at him because I knew he finally realized I’d been looking at Sid all night, well, at least trying to. His face turned pale and I felt as if I could actually see his heart drop. I wasn’t sure if he still loved me or cared but at that moment I knew he did and this was going to eat at him.

I forced myself into the locker room to congratulate the team when I was allowed in. The guys were showered and getting dressed, yelling and hollering with adrenaline from winning the game in such dramatic fashion.

Jordan was at his locker. He turned his head to look at me and lingered his eyes with mine for a second then turned away again. Sid was so excited that when I saw him he was running at me with his sweats on and before I could react his grabbed me in his arms and kissed me passionately-in front of everyone. I felt the knots completely tighten in my stomach, I didn’t want everyone to know and I didn’t want Jordan to see. Sid didn’t pull away from me, he was ripped away from me. I felt myself get knocked backwards and when I opened my eyes Jordan was on top of Sid on the floor.

“Dude what the hell was that?” Sid screamed as he pushed Jordan off of him.

“Get your hands off my girl,” Jordan screamed back with rage in his eyes. He wasn’t even thinking clearly.

“Your girl?” Sid asked Jordan disgusted. This was bad. Jordan stood up frantically and glared at Sid but he didn’t respond.

“Hello?” Sid screamed at Jordan. “I don’t know what the hell got into you but we’re together now, so whatever jealousy or whatever you have, get over it.”

I held my breath and felt my body fill with disappointment when Sid told him. Jordan just looked at me heartbroken. “Is this true?”

I nodded. Sid looked at me and then to Jord. “What the hell are you asking her for? I just told you, asshole.”

Jordan’s jaw tensed, like it did when he was upset or nervous about something, looked at me, turned, and stormed off.

“What the hell was that about?” Sid was now mad at me.

“I…I don’t know.” I wanted to run to him, but then again I had to rewind my memory and remember why things were the way they were. He didn’t run after me when he left with that girl. He didn’t run to my bed when he was screwing her in his. He made his bed and now he would have to lay in it. I just didn’t understand why I was this devastated and he was the one who had messed up.

“Well he’s obviously got something for you so I don’t know what to do about it.”

I just wanted to start crying. “Hey, babe, I’m gonna go home. This was a little more awkward than I thought. You understand right?”

“Yeah, I’m going to come over in a little though. I don’t want to leave you alone. I just got my ass tackled for you so who knows if Jord will flip a shit again.”

Actually, all I really wanted was to be alone, but he’d never let it happen.

“Okay. Sounds good.” I turned to walk away but he quickly spun me back and kissed me quickly on the lips.

I rushed home and figured I had about an hour, maybe more, before Sid would get there. I threw my work clothes on the floor and slipped into sweats. I wasn’t home five minutes before I heard someone knocking at my door. I couldn’t believe Sid had gotten there so quick, I just wanted time to myself for a little while. I went to the door, annoyed, and opened it.

“What the hell?!” Jord stormed in completely catching me off guard. “What the hell Anna?” He screamed louder.

I didn’t have a response; I didn’t know what to say to him.

“You’re seriously dating him?”

“I guess so. Yeah.”

“You’re effing with me right? You aren’t really?” He pleaded with me.

I tilted my head and looked at him devastated.

“You’re really doing this?” He couldn’t believe it, in some ways neither could I.

“I don’t know what to say.”

“You can’t do this! You’re just closing the book on us? I’ve been miserable and you’re hopping into Crosby’s bed?”

“No! No. It’s not like that.” It kind of was, we’d hooked up, we just hadn’t had sex. “It’s new. It just happened. He wanted to make us something more and last night…”

“Oh God, you had sex!” He looked like he was going to throw up.

“No! God, no! Look, no- and that’s the truth. I’m not you! If you hadn’t actually had sex with another girl, this wouldn’t be happening right now. So I don’t see how this is any of your business first off, and he’s coming over soon.”

Tears welled in his eyes. “This is going to kill me. I can’t watch you with him. Are you doing this to punish me, because I get it. I’m sorry, please. I know I messed up, I’ve known it. I love you, can we just try to get back to normal?” he spoke softly and I could see he was at his breaking point, which was killing me.

“Jord…” I sighed.

He didn’t say anything. He knew I was vulnerable and for the moment he could tell I still loved him. He knew he still had some glimmer of hope to hold onto and when he realized it he walked towards me, grabbed my face in his hands, “I love you,” the words fell out of his mouth and instantaneously he kissed me.

I wanted to fight it and push him away. I wanted to scream at him and tell him I hated him. But I couldn’t. I loved him. I missed him, and our bodies wouldn’t let us separate. We quickly began tearing at each other’s clothes and made a trail as he dragged me into my bedroom. Our mouths didn’t part, his hands on my body were holding onto me like he was afraid if he let go I’d run. He moaned as this was a release for him, he missed me and had been wanting this, but then again so had I.

When we got in the bedroom he threw me down on the bed and removed the underwear I was wearing. He was in nothing but his boxers, and I pulled them down when he crawled in-between my straddled legs. When he pushed into me I moaned in pure delight. It felt so right to be with him, our souls were intertwining with each other. He alternated between going softly and harder. He kissed me passionately and traced my body with his fingertips. He whispered in my ear how much he loved me and how sorry he was for everything, fighting desperately for me to forgive him and be with him again. As he made love to me and gently whispered that he loved me, I couldn’t hold the truth in anymore, “I love you Jordan,” I panted. “I love you,” a relieved smile spread across his beautiful face. I screamed out as I reached an orgasm and both our bodies were shaking. He collapsed next to me and ran his hand down my cheek.

“I love you Anna…God I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too.”

“So…are we, can we be together again?”

I froze. I wanted to say yes. My heart was screaming yes, but my mind was racing. “I don’t know.” It was all I could stammer out.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Sid’s going to be here any minute.” I would’ve ended it with him the second he got there, but that wouldn’t be fair. Jordan and I had broken up for a reason, and we needed to talk before I could completely trust him again.

“You’re thinking about him? We just made love. You actually admitted you still love me, and you’re sitting here, naked with me, thinking about him?”

“It’s not that, I just-we need to talk before anything is completely decided. You broke my heart Jord. I love you, but you broke our trust. I used to think of you as someone who wouldn’t ever hurt me.”

He frustratedly threw the covers off him and went to collect his clothes. “This is ridiculous. I know I screwed up, and every day I wish I could go back and fix it, but I can’t. All I can do is show you I love you, but I don’t know what to do anymore. Have a great night with your boyfriend.”

“Jord, wait.” I sat up and tried to grab at him.

“No, you made your point,” he put on his pants and stormed out into the living room.

I wrapped the sheets around me and followed him. “It’s just not that simple! Why can’t we talk?” I wanted to tell him how I felt and make sure I had nothing to worry about in trusting him. “You wanted this so bad, but now you’re pretty damn quick to walk out.”

“I didn’t go get a girlfriend five seconds later. I haven’t even looked at anyone. I’ve been moping around realizing how stupid I am to mess up the best thing I ever had.”

“Liar! What about New Year’s Eve?”

“What about it? You were the one bumping parts with Sid. I saw you rubbing up on each other, you were kissing, oh-and this is after you said you didn’t love me. So what about it? The girl that came up to me that I turned down, or the alcohol I didn’t drink? Because I went home completely sober and completely alone,” his anger towards me was obvious and after hearing what actually happened I realized he had every reason to be pissed.

My mouth just dropped as I tried to find words. I didn’t know what to say, I just wished I could fix what I’d now messed up. He slammed the door as he left and I felt the tears fall from my eyes. I ran to the bedroom and put my clothes back on and thought about what Jordan had said. He was right, and there was nothing I could do because not even five minutes later Sid showed up.