‹ Prequel: Hearts Intact
Wrists Intact
We're The Kids Who Feel Like Dead Ends
The next day I got to re-meet everyone else. There was Jon, who seemed pretty nice and didn’t act weird around me. Brendon seemed nice enough, but he was kind of weird like he didn’t know what to say to me or anything. Spencer didn’t really say anything. He just stared at me sadly and I made a mental note to ask Patrick what was wrong with him. Joe and Andy were nice, but they, like Brendon, acted strange around me. Then there was Devin. He left the room when I came in.
“What was that about?” I asked Patrick once everyone had been introduced to me. We were sitting on the couch. Jon and Brendon had gone outside, Spencer had retreated to his room, Ryan and Pete were in the kitchen, Joe and Andy were in the basement and I wasn’t sure where Devin was.
“He’s kind of upset that you can’t remember anything.” Patrick said. His tone indicated that there was more but I let it drop. Obviously it was a touchy subject.
“What’s wrong with Spencer?” I asked. Patrick actually flinched at my question.
“It’s a long story.” He said darkly. I stared at him curiously but didn’t push the issue. Apparently there were a lot of forbidden subjects with these people.
“How’d I know everyone?” I asked. This time it was Patrick’s turn to look at me curiously.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“I was friends with you, but what about with everyone else?” I asked. Patrick thought for a moment before he answered me.
“Just friends.” He said slowly. Well it was good to know that I wasn’t a whore and hadn’t been sleeping around with all of them. Unless of course, Patrick was lying and I’d been more than “just friends” with one of them.
“So how long until my memory gets back from its vacation?” I asked. Patrick stared at me for a second and then burst out laughing. I smiled and wondered why in the world we hadn’t been best friends before. Though I can’t really say we were best friends now, he was just the one who acted completely normal around me.
“I don’t know, I guess we’ll see.” Patrick said when he finally calmed down. And then a terrible thought crossed my mind. What if I never got it back? What if I had to go on living without ever knowing if I was actually this Izzye person? I pushed that thought to the back of my mind.
“So what now?” I asked a few minutes later. Patrick shrugged.
“I’m not sure; keep you away from the vampires.” He said, making it sound more like a question, not a statement. That just made me feel depressed.
“I hate my life.” I moaned. Patrick smiled.
“Now that sounds like the old Izzye.” He said.
*******
Pete’s POV
Ryan and I were in the kitchen, trying to listen to Patrick and Izzye’s conversation. Even with our better-than-average hearing it was hard. I caught a few words here and there but that was it.
“I don’t think that I’m going to tell her.” Ryan said. He was leaning against the counter, a distant look on his face.
“Tell her what?” I asked, pretending to flip through the newspaper. I’d been paying attention to Izzye’s thoughts all night so I didn’t know what he was about to say.
“That we were dating.” He said. It took a minute for his words to sink in.
“Why not?” I asked. He didn’t answer right away and I tried hard not to listen to his thoughts. I wanted him to say it out loud, to make sure he realized exactly what he had chosen.
“I think that it would be really weird for her.” He said finally. We both knew that it was not the real reason but neither of us said anything. He did have a point, but I didn’t think that it was the right thing to do.
“Whatever, it’s your choice, just remember, when she gets mad at you when she finds out, I’m going to be there to tell you I told you so.” I said. Ryan forced a smile and stared at his feet. This was hard on everyone, but on him and Devin especially. Ever since Skylar’s supposed death, Devin had slowly been falling apart. After Jimmy, Izzye was all that he had left. And now she wasn’t even herself.
“Do you think that she’ll ever get her memory back?” Ryan asked softly a few minutes later. I shrugged.
“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. There was no way to tell if she would.
“In a way I hope she doesn’t.” Ryan said. I stared at him in surprise. Now why would he wish that?
“I hate that she can’t remember us, but then again, that means she can’t remember Rae’s betrayal, and Skylar. Or Jimmy.” He said. I nodded slowly; he made sense. But would that really be better?
“But then she wouldn’t remember anything happy either.” I pointed out. Ryan shrugged and didn’t say anything. I started to focus on his thoughts and then changed my mind, trying to ignore them instead.
*******
Izzye’s POV
I decided to go back to my room and the first thing I noticed was an envelope waiting for me on my bed. Carefully closing my door behind me I picked it up. It had my name written on it.
Sitting down on the bed I ripped it open and slowly pulled out a yellowed piece of paper. I unfolded it and started to read.
Dear Izzye,
I know you probably won’t believe me, why should you? I wish I could tell you everything in this letter but I can’t, I can’t take the chance that someone else would find this first. And with Pete being unable to read your mind, I figure that we’re safe with what I do tell you.
First, I did NOT have a choice but to turn you guys in. I knew that you would be able to get away, it’s you guys, you guys can always get out of everything. I wish I could tell you why I had to but I can’t, not yet.
Second, I did not know that they would have vampires down the trap door, waiting for you. Last I’d been told was that they wouldn’t bother to put anyone down there. I’m always going to be sorry for that.
Third, I’m so sorry that I made you all believe that Skylar was dead. In the beginning I joined you guys figuring that it’d be easy to turn you over. But as it turned out, you weren’t. You guys are the best friends ever!
Fourth, I really hope, that since they got you out of there, they figured out some way to stop the venom. I really hope they did.
I know that this probably won’t make you stop hating me, but I’m allowed to try, aren’t I?
Sincerely,
Rae
Apparently life was just going to get even more complicated. Why couldn’t it just wait until I could remember everything and throw all of this at me? Well now the question was, do I forgive Rae or do I not? It’s a bit difficult to be mad at someone when you can’t remember just how angry you were at them. So I guess I had to forgive her. But how to let her know? That was a bit difficult. It took me a few minutes, but I finally figured out a way. I ended up leaving a note tacked to this tiny bulletin board on the wall. It said,
Radically Amazing Elephants,
Instantly Forgetting Only Regretting Greatness Imagining Violent Emotions Yearning Original Enthusiasm.
Now I had to hope that she understood the note, and that no one else did. It’d be a bit awkward if someone else figured out that the first letter of each word was part of the message, making the message, Rae I forgive you. Plain and simple.
Her letter let me know something important though. Pete never used to be able to read my mind and now he could. So what had happened? Had something in my head changed? Well now I had to work extra hard to keep from thinking about this around him. That was going to be pretty difficult; I suck at not thinking of important things. This would be interesting.
“What was that about?” I asked Patrick once everyone had been introduced to me. We were sitting on the couch. Jon and Brendon had gone outside, Spencer had retreated to his room, Ryan and Pete were in the kitchen, Joe and Andy were in the basement and I wasn’t sure where Devin was.
“He’s kind of upset that you can’t remember anything.” Patrick said. His tone indicated that there was more but I let it drop. Obviously it was a touchy subject.
“What’s wrong with Spencer?” I asked. Patrick actually flinched at my question.
“It’s a long story.” He said darkly. I stared at him curiously but didn’t push the issue. Apparently there were a lot of forbidden subjects with these people.
“How’d I know everyone?” I asked. This time it was Patrick’s turn to look at me curiously.
“What do you mean?” He asked.
“I was friends with you, but what about with everyone else?” I asked. Patrick thought for a moment before he answered me.
“Just friends.” He said slowly. Well it was good to know that I wasn’t a whore and hadn’t been sleeping around with all of them. Unless of course, Patrick was lying and I’d been more than “just friends” with one of them.
“So how long until my memory gets back from its vacation?” I asked. Patrick stared at me for a second and then burst out laughing. I smiled and wondered why in the world we hadn’t been best friends before. Though I can’t really say we were best friends now, he was just the one who acted completely normal around me.
“I don’t know, I guess we’ll see.” Patrick said when he finally calmed down. And then a terrible thought crossed my mind. What if I never got it back? What if I had to go on living without ever knowing if I was actually this Izzye person? I pushed that thought to the back of my mind.
“So what now?” I asked a few minutes later. Patrick shrugged.
“I’m not sure; keep you away from the vampires.” He said, making it sound more like a question, not a statement. That just made me feel depressed.
“I hate my life.” I moaned. Patrick smiled.
“Now that sounds like the old Izzye.” He said.
*******
Pete’s POV
Ryan and I were in the kitchen, trying to listen to Patrick and Izzye’s conversation. Even with our better-than-average hearing it was hard. I caught a few words here and there but that was it.
“I don’t think that I’m going to tell her.” Ryan said. He was leaning against the counter, a distant look on his face.
“Tell her what?” I asked, pretending to flip through the newspaper. I’d been paying attention to Izzye’s thoughts all night so I didn’t know what he was about to say.
“That we were dating.” He said. It took a minute for his words to sink in.
“Why not?” I asked. He didn’t answer right away and I tried hard not to listen to his thoughts. I wanted him to say it out loud, to make sure he realized exactly what he had chosen.
“I think that it would be really weird for her.” He said finally. We both knew that it was not the real reason but neither of us said anything. He did have a point, but I didn’t think that it was the right thing to do.
“Whatever, it’s your choice, just remember, when she gets mad at you when she finds out, I’m going to be there to tell you I told you so.” I said. Ryan forced a smile and stared at his feet. This was hard on everyone, but on him and Devin especially. Ever since Skylar’s supposed death, Devin had slowly been falling apart. After Jimmy, Izzye was all that he had left. And now she wasn’t even herself.
“Do you think that she’ll ever get her memory back?” Ryan asked softly a few minutes later. I shrugged.
“I don’t know.” I answered honestly. There was no way to tell if she would.
“In a way I hope she doesn’t.” Ryan said. I stared at him in surprise. Now why would he wish that?
“I hate that she can’t remember us, but then again, that means she can’t remember Rae’s betrayal, and Skylar. Or Jimmy.” He said. I nodded slowly; he made sense. But would that really be better?
“But then she wouldn’t remember anything happy either.” I pointed out. Ryan shrugged and didn’t say anything. I started to focus on his thoughts and then changed my mind, trying to ignore them instead.
*******
Izzye’s POV
I decided to go back to my room and the first thing I noticed was an envelope waiting for me on my bed. Carefully closing my door behind me I picked it up. It had my name written on it.
Sitting down on the bed I ripped it open and slowly pulled out a yellowed piece of paper. I unfolded it and started to read.
Dear Izzye,
I know you probably won’t believe me, why should you? I wish I could tell you everything in this letter but I can’t, I can’t take the chance that someone else would find this first. And with Pete being unable to read your mind, I figure that we’re safe with what I do tell you.
First, I did NOT have a choice but to turn you guys in. I knew that you would be able to get away, it’s you guys, you guys can always get out of everything. I wish I could tell you why I had to but I can’t, not yet.
Second, I did not know that they would have vampires down the trap door, waiting for you. Last I’d been told was that they wouldn’t bother to put anyone down there. I’m always going to be sorry for that.
Third, I’m so sorry that I made you all believe that Skylar was dead. In the beginning I joined you guys figuring that it’d be easy to turn you over. But as it turned out, you weren’t. You guys are the best friends ever!
Fourth, I really hope, that since they got you out of there, they figured out some way to stop the venom. I really hope they did.
I know that this probably won’t make you stop hating me, but I’m allowed to try, aren’t I?
Sincerely,
Rae
Apparently life was just going to get even more complicated. Why couldn’t it just wait until I could remember everything and throw all of this at me? Well now the question was, do I forgive Rae or do I not? It’s a bit difficult to be mad at someone when you can’t remember just how angry you were at them. So I guess I had to forgive her. But how to let her know? That was a bit difficult. It took me a few minutes, but I finally figured out a way. I ended up leaving a note tacked to this tiny bulletin board on the wall. It said,
Radically Amazing Elephants,
Instantly Forgetting Only Regretting Greatness Imagining Violent Emotions Yearning Original Enthusiasm.
Now I had to hope that she understood the note, and that no one else did. It’d be a bit awkward if someone else figured out that the first letter of each word was part of the message, making the message, Rae I forgive you. Plain and simple.
Her letter let me know something important though. Pete never used to be able to read my mind and now he could. So what had happened? Had something in my head changed? Well now I had to work extra hard to keep from thinking about this around him. That was going to be pretty difficult; I suck at not thinking of important things. This would be interesting.