That Should Be Me

I paced back and forth in my living room thinking 'Should I go?' 'Should I not go?' It was very frustrating. I mean for God's sake they haven't even been together for a year, I knew I should've just asked to marry her and that's when I got the idea.

I picked up my phone and called her. " Hey, wanna hang out tonight?" I asked.

"Uhm, sure. Be right over?" she said

"Okay" I said with a huge smile. I ran upstairs to take a shower and change my clothes, about 20 minutes later the doorbell rang.

"Hey" I said as I answered the door.

"Hi Nick." she said as she walked inside and sat on the couch.

"So what do you want to do?" She asked

"We can watch a movie or something, if you want" I said, she nodded. I chose Paranormal Activity, just so she would be close to me. As the movie began she kept her distance, when something scary happened, she moved a little bit closer to me, but not close enough. A half hour into the movie she was leaning against me and holding my hand. I loved it.

When the movie was over, she was practically in my lap. "Um I'll go get another movie" I said.

"No, don't get up" she said as she looked at me. I didn't move. We were quite for a few minutes.

"What are you thinking about?" I asked.

"Nothing, everything." she said

"D, can I ask you something"

"Anything." She said.

"Do you ever think about me...?" I asked.

"Everyday." She told me. I sighed. She looked up at me, and suddenly kissed me, a soft but passionate kiss. I got on top of her and continued kissing her, and that's when she stopped me.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't hav-" I cut her off.

"No it's my fault" I said as I got off of her and stood up.

"I should go" she said.

"Okay..."

Damn, this girl was giving me whiplash

She got up and headed toward the door and I followed. "D"

"Yeah?" she asked.

"You seriously want to spend the rest of your life with Joe with me just being on the sidelines, always a temptation?" I asked with no regret.

She stared at me, tears stung her eyes. "I have to go."

"Answer the question." I told her.

"Nick I really have to g-" I cut her off once more

"Answer the fucking question..." I said raising my voice.

"I don't know Nick." she said with tears streaming down her face. I walked closer to her.

"Then why are you going to marry him D?" I asked with a soft voice.

"Because" She paused. "I love him."

"You love me." I told her as I grabbed her waist and pulled her close to me. "I know you love me and I'm so positive that you love me that I'm going ask something I'll probably regret now but will be grateful in the future" She looked at me tears still streaming down her face, I wiped them away.

"Marry me?" She stared at me and didn't say anything. "Destiny, will you please, please marry me? Spend the rest of your life with me baby." and that's when she became absolutely hysterical and collapsed on the floor.

I sat beside her. "Why are you crying boo?" I asked.

"I can't" she said.

"Why not? Is it because I didn't get a huge fancy ring for you like Joe did? I can get one..." I said

"No it's not that." she said sobbing.

"Is it because I'm not as good-looking as Joe? Not as good as him?" I asked

"Nick, you're the most handsome, amazing guy I have ever known."

"Then what is it?" I asked.

"I'm scared."

"Of what?" I asked

"Being with you." she said

I was confused to no other. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Whenever we get back together, a month or two later, we've broken up. We fight constantly, we-" I kissed her.

"Baby look where we are right now after over 10 years, you're here with me, we always come back to each other, it's supposed to be you and me... not you and Joe. I can just tell you right now if you marry Joe you're going to be in an affair with me that's just the way we work we can't stay away no matter what"

She looked at me with anger in her eyes " So you already know I'm going to cheat on Joe? You're the most arrogant son of a b-" I cut her off.

"D you've already cheated on him and you aren't even married yet, what'll make you stop?" I said softly.

"You leaving..." she said quietly.

"Is that what you want?" I asked and she nodded slowly.

"I was going to go to Paris for a little bit, just to see what it's like but I think I'm going to move there permanently" I said. She looked stunned.

"I love you and everything you said is true, if I marry Joe I'll be having sex with you all the time, spending as much time as I could with you"

"Then marry me instead of my brother" I said.