Between Lies and Promises

Tamara's P.O.V.

“So what are we going to watch?” I crashed unto the sofa next to my best friend. The old sofa was too big for my room, or actually my room was too small to have a sofa in it. But hey, I’m Tamara Rivers, a stubborn girl who wanted a sofa in her room and got a sofa in her room.

You should have seen the faces of my father and brothers, stunned but then burst in too laughter. “How do you want to get this thing in your room, it wont even fit!” Oliver, my oldest brother said still laughing. I gave him a dirty look. “Wait and see brother! You’re gonna be amazed. Your little sister is incapable for more things than you think” And with that I walked away to get the sofa out of my truck.

“Some help please?”

“Sure sister, but I only drag that thing upstairs then you can amaze me.” Oliver said with emphasize on the ‘then you can amaze me’ part.

“sure thing.” I nodded in agreement.

So he did what he said, he and Lucas dragged the old thing upstairs en left me there with it.
“Yell when you’re done, or when you give it up” he winked and walked downstairs again.

“I will.”

“Wait and see, brother .wait and see!”I whispered after him. And I did it! I had to put my bed in the corner but I did it, and I felt proud.

I rubbed with my hand over the sofa and smiled.
“I actually don’t feel like watching TV” Kian said, staring into the space. “Ok, then we don’t.” I jumped of the sofa again and turned off the TV, and then I walked over to my stereo to press the play button. The sound of five boys singing was filling the room. “Oooh wooh hoo” they started to sing.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Kian said in a whiney voice and dropped his head on the sofa. All I did was giggling and then I started to sing along.

“Uptowngirl,
she's been living in her uptown world
I bet she never had a back street guy
I bet her mama never told her why
I'm gonna try........”

“Can you please stop that?” Kian pleaded. But I kept singing and all I gave him was a playful look.

“And when she knows what she wants from her ti-i- ime
And when she wakes up and makes up her mi-i-ind”

A deep sigh from Kian was audible.

“Westlife is love! You should listen to them more often.” I said with an innocent look. “Westlife is a boy band; people will think I’m gay or something.” “You’re not gay?” I made a shocked face. “No Tamara, I’m not” he sighed again.

I let myself fall unto my bed, turned around and looked him right in his sea blue eyes. “Why are you friends with me?” I asked out of the blue, death serious.

He looked at me in confusion, definitely not expecting such a question. It took him 10 second to answer. “Because I like you, you’re special. Why, you never had a guy as friend? ” the last part was supposed to be a joke but Kian was bad at making them, and so was did one.

“In Dallas I had a few guy friends. It’s just…. Dallas is a big city with a lot of people and it’s possible there. Here in a small village like Saint Annaville it’s like taboo or something. They probably think you’re gay.”

“I know, he said. “But I don’t mind. With you I have fun, real fun. Most guys are party animals, drinking beer, comparing with each other and stuff. That’s just not me you know. So if I have to choose between partying all day or having fun with you, I’ll choose having fun with you because that’s what I like to do.” He stopped for a moment. “I’m gonna miss that” he almost whispered. There was a long silence between us.

I didn’t know what to say or to do. I wanted to say something in an angry way to him, because he reminded me that I was going to die anytime soon. But I couldn’t. The guy was so honest about it, and I know it took a lot of guts to say it. I’ve been there with my mom. All I wanted to say to her was that I loved her, and that I was going to miss her. To tell that I was scared, because I didn’t know how to move on when she was not there anymore. But I didn’t dare. She didn’t want to hear a thing that would remind her of her going to die. So I didn’t and I’m regretting it now. She knows it, but that was not the problem. The problem was I never ever said it once in my whole life. The mother daughter relationship was there but we never talked about it. And now we can’t …….

“I think I should go home. It’s almost six, so dinner will be ready any minute” Kian broke the silence. “Oh, ok. So I see you tomorrow then, in school?” “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that he left.

I sighed. “Way to go Tam” I said to myself.

Guilt was eating at me. After a while I finally pulled out my phone and started to write a text message to Kian. “Hey, thank you for going to miss it, you know. Xo Tammy”

The Westlife song was going towards an end now. “Don’t you know I’m in love with an uptown girl. She’s my uptown gi-i-irl”

Again I sighed. In my head I heard the doctor say polite that I had cancer, that it was a lost situation and that I should consider chemo therapy. The scene played in my head over and over again...