Traitor in a Second

My mind was racing as I climbed into my car and headed to the house.

One would think the chaos that I would encounter when I reached the house would be plaguing my mind but it wasn’t, the only things on my mind was that kiss.

Why didn’t I feel a spark when Jonathan’s lips touched mine like in the movies? I could only imagine what was going on in that house; I was terrified to see the damage that I had caused.

I want it to be Jonathan damn it, everything would be so much simpler just like in the movies. We’d grow up, we’d get married, and we’d have perfect kids that grow up to be doctors. We’d be just like a movie.

No one would be surprise if it was Jonathan! Everyone has been placing bets since the third grade and I think I’ve even been betting on when he’d make the move.

I couldn’t see myself with anyone like Caleb, and I didn’t even know Kyle that well. Jonathan just seems logical. I’m so pissed at my body! Why couldn’t you drop stupid stomach? Why couldn’t you do the text book drop to the floor when his lips touched mine and choose him? Why don’t you choose someone so I can shut my brain off for a bit?

Stupid stomach, all it did was gurgle reminding me I had yet to eat today.

I should have let Jonathan kiss me again; force myself into love for him. Sure, that is wrong but it was also safe. True love was never safe, especially when you have to choose. I can’t lose any of them; I can’t see my life without one of them.

Even Kyle, the kid I didn’t even consider a close friend yet.

I was all but hyperventilating from an anxiety attack only halfway to the house.
My hands were shaking and my eyes were filled with tears that had yet to be shed.
Looking in the review mirror before I pulled over to the side I caught a glimpse of the unsightly mess I was.

I didn’t want to go to that house and have to choose right now but I couldn’t just sit there and let them tear each other apart over a stupid girl like me.

Marc sounded panicked but I had to get myself together before I got in a wreck because of my haste.

After a good ten minutes I pulled myself together and turned back on the path to my destination.

From down the road the Kyle’s house looked much more menacing then it should have. I was scared to death as I shut off my car and stood by the open door.

Today was suppose to be band practice in the newly soundproof garage that Kyle’s stepfather had built for the band, but it looks like their band practice is just another thing I fucked up.

Approaching the house, the first thing I heard shattered me even worse,

“I’ve been fucking her brains out the past half a year, more then either of you could say for yourselves."

apparently they weren't in the soundproof walls anymore, because now some shit’s about to go down.