So Sacrifice Yourself, and Let Me Have What's Left

I groaned slightly when I felt the right side of my bed empty. This wasn’t normal. I usually had Zacky sleeping next to me. Where was he? I opened my eyes sleepily, scanning my room. I was the only person in here. Too tired to care, I closed my eyes in hopes of falling back asleep. I sighed as I buried my head into my pillow. It smelled like Zacky, only causing me to whine. I wanted him beside me. I lifted my head, thinking that maybe he was on the floor for some strange reason. Craning my neck, I looked at the floor. The carpet was the only thing inhabiting it. I began to get a little worried. Zacky was always beside me when I woke up. I sat up in my bed, the strap of my shirt falling down my shoulder a bit as I ran my fingers through my hair in hopes of smoothing it out a bit. “Z-Zacky?” I called, my voice both full of sleep and concern.

A few seconds passed before I saw the door open, and my heart jumped as Zacky walked in fully clothed and ready to go, whereas I was still in my nightclothes and my hair was probably a mess. Zacky smiled, I’m guessing at how tired I looked, and walked over to me. “Afternoon.” He chuckled, gently pressing his lips against mine. “I was wondering when you were gonna get up.” he said, his lips brushing against mine as he spoke.

I didn’t know what he meant, that is, before I looked at the clock beside our bed. It read twelve fifty. Wow, I’ve never slept that late before. I must’ve been really exhausted, or something. I looked back at Zacky, and his perfect face was still directed towards mine. I gave my boyfriend of almost two months a smile. “Are you doing something today?” I asked, gesturing toward his fully clothed body. I didn’t mean to think it, but I felt the urge to rip those clothes off.

Zacky nodded, sitting beside me on the bed and draping his arm over my shoulder. I smiled when he kissed my cheek. “We’re going to Matt’s house today.” I gave him a confused look, and he explained. “Val wants us to have a movie night, or something like that.” he chuckled lightly, only making my heart swell at how perfect he was, and the fact that he was my boyfriend.

“When’re we leaving?” I asked, my voice cracking from still having the drowsiness of sleep inside of me. I yawned, and Zacky smiled, kissing my temple. I bit my lower lip and looked at him. What did I do to deserve him?

“Whenever you’re ready,” Zacky stated, leaning back to where he was laying on the bed, looking up at me. I smiled, and couldn’t help myself. I leaned down to place a lingering kiss on his lips. I could feel the smirk forming on his lips before I pulled away.

I stood up and walked out of my room, feeling Zacky’s eyes on me until I closed the bathroom door, preventing him from looking at me. Brushing my teeth and skimming over my hair with a brush, I looked at myself in the mirror, thinking of what to do. I decided to go ahead and put my hair in a messy bun, mainly because I was too tired to do anything else. Wrapping the hair tie around my hair once to make my dark brown hair look like a donut, I wrapped the hair tie around it once more and repeated this step until it looked like a mess of brown. I smiled. I liked it to look crazy and totally unkempt. Don’t ask why, that’s just how I am. Brushing my bangs to the side, I ran my fingers through them in a zigzag way to make them a little bit more scraggly. I actually started wearing a little more makeup than I usually did, mainly because I wanted to prove to all of the girls that stared at me why Zacky chose me and not them. Yeah, I took it all in every time a girl sent me death glares. I’ve never been one who liked attention, but it was different when they were staring at me because I got to have the god and they didn’t, which was why I would always lace my fingers with Zacky every time I saw them, which always made him smile and kiss me. I’m a genius, I know. It still wasn’t much, however, because I still hated seeing myself in makeup. I didn’t look like me, which was a problem. I dabbed on a bit of brown eyeliner, it was supposed to compliment the green in my eyes, considering that’s what the box it came in said, and wore some natural eye shadow. It wasn’t so much that you could see the difference, but whatever. If this is what made Zacky fall in love with me, I have to stay this way.

“Okay, out.” I said to Zacky, pulling his arm in hopes of getting him to get off the bed. But Zacky had muscles, and I didn’t, meaning this was just a waste of time. Zacky laughed and shook his head, staying in his spot, which was lying on the bed. I nodded. “Yes, I have to change.” I said, grabbing a hold of his other wrist and pulling on that one as well.

Zacky shook his head. “I wanna watch.” He smirked, pulling his wrists out of my grasp and folding his arms across his chest. I sighed, and the smirk grew on Zacky’s angelic face. “Oh come on, Ace, I wanna see that body of yours.” He winked, only making my cheeks redden.

I shook my head, looking down at my feet so he couldn’t see me blushing. “No, I’m not letting you.” I said, looking up at him once I knew it was safe and my cheeks turned their normal shade. Zacky shifted a bit, and I thought he was leaving, but he didn’t. Instead, he propped himself up against the wall and was now sitting on the bed, looking right at me with the same smirk plastered on his plush lips. I huffed, folding my arms tightly across my chest and pouted. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Zacky to see me half naked; I was just self conscious of myself. I hated looking at myself in the mirror when I had just gotten out of the shower, because I didn’t want to see my body. I was scared that I was either too bony or too fat, either one. I had never really judged myself, considering I’ve never gotten a good look at myself, but I knew that Zacky would judge me. He’s never even seen me with my shirt off, God only knows how he would react to seeing my square body, at least, that’s what I think of it as. I remember Gena, and how she had everything, and if Zacky’s seen that, then he definitely wouldn’t approve of me.

“Please, Candace?” Zacky pouted, only making me smile slightly. I knew that he had to have some happiness in his life. He respected me, which was something I liked, but he was a man, meaning he had his needs. He looked at me with hope in his eyes, and I almost gave in. “I won’t ask you ever again.” He pleaded, and I could hear the honesty in his words.

I sighed, shaking my head side to side, making a decision. “Fine, but only for when I put my shirt on, then you have to look away.” Zacky’s eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly, and I smirked. “Either that, or you have to leave.” Zacky’s mouth shut, and I laughed under my breath, turning my back to him.

I walked over to my closet and looked at my shirts. I made a clicking noise with my tongue flicking against my front teeth. I heard Zacky chuckle, and looked at him over my shoulder to stick my tongue out at him. I looked back at my closet, and one shirt in particular caught my eye. I picked it up, and thought back to when I had first tried it on. It was a light gray shirt with a white peace sign splattered all over the front. I remember it showing off a lot of skin on my chest, and debated whether to wear a tank under it or not to hide that extra skin. I looked at Zacky, who was picking his nails and not looking at me, waiting for me to get undressed. I knew that he wanted to see more of me, so maybe he would like this shirt without the tank under it.

Finally making my decision, I held the shirt in my hand and turned to where my front was facing Zacky. He saw this in the corner of his eye, and he immediately straightened and smiled. I shook my head with a smile and placed the shirt on the floor beside me. I turned slightly so Zacky wouldn’t see the front of me completely, and tugged at the bottom of my shirt. I bit my lower lip as I slowly pulled it up, not once looking at Zacky. I heard him gulp, only making my cheeks redden as I pulled my shirt over my head, thankful that I slept in a bra last night, or else we would’ve had some problems. I tossed the shirt onto the ground, and glanced at Zacky. His eyes were wide, his lips were parted, and, if I’m not mistaken, his pants seemed to tighten a bit. My ears began to burn at the thought of what that could mean. I leaned down to grab my shirt, and I knew Zacky was given a sight of my breasts that he probably wouldn’t forget. Oh, why did I agree to let him watch? I quickly picked up the shirt I was planning to wear and slipped it over my head, wanting to get this over and done with. I heard Zacky whine once I smoothed it out, and I knew that he was thinking that he would have to leave.

I smiled at his pouting lower lip. “You have to leave now.” I said, folding my arms over my chest. I was pretty sure my cheeks were still a bright shade of red, but I still looked at him. Zacky shook his head side to side, and I rolled my eyes. “Please Zack?” I asked softly, looking at him, hoping to pull off the innocent look. I knew he couldn’t say no if I looked like a helpless little girl.

It seemed to work, because Zacky sighed and got off the bed. I thought he was just going to leave, but apparently I had gotten him a little too happy. He crashed his lips against mine, wrapping one arm around my waist. I laughed against his lips as I pressed mine against his with just as much force. I pressed my hands against his chest, and he pulled away with a confused look. I had never actually told him to stop. “I need to get changed.” I said softly, and Zacky nodded with a smile, kissing me gently before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.

I walked back to the closet, my lips tingling like they always did when Zacky kissed me, and searched for a pair of jeans to wear. I thought about it for a moment, and looked out through the window. It looked a little warm out, considering we were in California in the summertime. I decided on something other than jeans. It probably wasn’t the best idea, but I was going to give it a try. I looked into the very back of my closet into the clothes that no one knew I had. It was a shame for me to admit that I had them, but I had bought them when I went through the phase of wanting to fit in. That phase only lasted about two days, but that didn’t stop me from buying shorts. I know, I’m a hypocrite, but that was only because I was desperate at the time when I wanted to fit in. I bit my lower lip as I slid my pants off, hoping Zacky wouldn’t come in. I wanted to lock the door, but I didn’t want Zacky to think that I didn’t trust him, and I trusted him to not walk in. Once I slipped on my shorts, I dared to do the impossible. Closing my eyes shut, preparing myself for the worst, I turned my body towards the full length mirror. I slowly opened one eye, and my sight immediately locked with the mirror, when my jaw dropped.

At first I thought maybe seeing out of one eye made me think I saw what I thought I did. I opened my other eye, and I was proven that it wasn’t my mind playing tricks on me. The Beauty in the Mirror was back, and she was wearing the same clothes as me. We stared at each other in pure shock—I was staring at her because she was so beautiful, she was staring at me because I was so hideous. I sighed, if the Beauty in the Mirror could pull off these shorts, there’s no way in hell that I could pull it off. I closed my eyes, turning away from the mirror and walking back to the closet. At least I tried.

I was about to look for a new pair of jeans until I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I jumped for a bit, until I saw that the door was open in the corner of my eye, meaning it was only one person. “You look beautiful.” He whispered, running his rough hand from my waist to my upper thigh. I bit my lower lip as I felt his teeth graze my ear. He began to trace circles in my thigh, and I sighed at the feel of his lips against my neck. My eyes widened when I noticed something was wrong. I turned in his arms, and jumped when my eyes met warm brown eyes.

“Brian?!” I exclaimed, worming my way out of his arms, leaving him to stare at me dumbfounded. “What the fuck?” I whispered angrily, hoping that Zacky hadn’t heard me scream or say Brian’s name. I watched as his expression turned from shock to guilt, and I knew what had happened.

“I-I’m sorry…” he said quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. “Zack told me to come get you and, I don’t know…I just…” he looked down at his feet, and I could tell he was thinking about what an idiot he was.

I chewed on the inside of my lip, thinking of what to say to him. I knew he didn’t mean to, but he needed to know before he let himself get carried away. “Brian.” He looked up at me. “You have Michelle, and I have Zacky.” I stated the obvious, but he understood what I meant by it. I smiled sympathetically, and he nodded.

“S-sorry again…” he seemed so embarrassed by what he had done, it was almost cute. I walked over to him and grabbed his hand that was still attached to the back of his neck, squeezing it encouragingly. He smiled, and so did I. I stood on the tips of my toes to kiss his cheek, and I could feel the warmth on my lips, only making me laugh quietly. “You’re not mad?” he asked.

I shook my head side to side, not saying anything. I knew that it was best not to say anything about this. I hoped that he would take this as a way of saying that I wasn’t interested, although, knowing Brian, he wasn’t going to give up. We both walked out of the room in silence, but I could feel Brian’s eyes on my body the entire time we were walking.

--

“Took you guys long enough,” Matt chuckled, stepping aside so Zacky and I could walk in. Brian went in his own car to get Michelle, and they weren’t here yet, apparently. Matt did a double take at my clothing, making me feel a bit insecure. I knew this was a bad idea. “Nice legs, Ace.” Matt winked, and I bit my lower lip, holding in a smile. I felt Zacky’s arm tighten around my waist as he shot a glare at the back of Matt’s head as we followed him into his basement. “You should wear shorts more often.” I could tell Matt was smirking, only causing Zacky to let a low growl erupt in his throat.

“Wow, Ace, deciding to give Zack a little happiness?” Valary giggled as I stepped off the last step of the stairway that led into Matt’s basement. This was a really bad idea, considering now I can’t stop blushing. I looked at Zacky, who had a smirk playing on his lips as his gaze met mine, and he kissed my cheek.

“Awh, how cute!” Lauren cooed, her fingers laced with Johnny’s. I looked at Johnny, raising a brow, and he smiled. I knew he was going to ask Lauren out, but I didn’t think it would be this soon. I also thought that Lauren was going to hate me because I was going out with Zacky, and Lauren was Gena’s friend. Lauren didn’t seem to mind, and I guessed it was alright with her.

“What movie are we watching?” Johnny asked as Matt sat down on the couch beside Valary, his arm quick to drape over her shoulders. Lauren rested her head on Johnny’s shoulder, and I smiled at the sight of him blushing.

Matt shrugged, and looked down at Valary. “This was all your idea, whaddya wanna watch?” he asked.

Valary thought for a moment, and then jumped when she came up with an idea. “Let’s watch The Hunted!” she exclaimed proudly, making everyone laugh at her idea, except me. I had never seen it, but the name itself made me think it was a horror movie, which it probably was.

Everyone agreed, and Brian and Michelle soon walked down the stairway. I looked up at Brian, and he looked at me. I smiled, telling him it was alright, and he smiled slightly, apparently still embarrassed by the whole situation we found ourselves in. I felt slightly bad, mainly because part of this was my fault. He probably thought I knew it was him, and thought that I felt the same way. I hoped he understood, but there’s hardly anything going on through that empty space Brian calls his mind, so you never know.

“Let’s sit down here.” Zacky smiled, pulling me down with him as he slid onto the cold floor. I had to obey, mainly because he had already tripped me, and ended up sitting beside him with our backs pressed against the brick wall. Zacky looked at Matt, who was watching as Valary put the DVD in, I’m guessing to make sure she doesn’t break anything. “Got any blankets?” Zacky asked, and Matt nodded, throwing a few blankets at us. I smiled as Zacky wrapped the blankets around our shoulders. I pulled my knees up to my chest, resting my head on Zacky’s shoulder.

“I like this view, Ace.” Jimmy chuckled. I looked to see what he was talking about, and he was sprawled out on the floor, his head directed right towards my exposed legs. My eyes widened and I was quick to put my legs down to where they were stretched on the floor. Everyone laughed at this, even Zacky, as the movie began to play.

Of course none of us—except Jimmy, who had ended up falling asleep—made it through five minutes worth of the movie before having a makeout session. Zacky and I were the last ones to join this, mainly because I wanted to see if Johnny would actually put the moves on Lauren. When he did, I looked at Zacky with a smile. Zacky didn’t get to see this, considering the second I turned my head he crashed his lips onto mine. I smiled against his lips, placing my hand on his thigh, the other still in my lap. Zacky draped his arm around my shoulders, the other on my legs. Our tongues tangled and clashed together as I began to rub Zacky’s inner thigh. He smirked against my lips once they met in a friendly hug, only to be parted by his tongue once more as he roamed my mouth. I continued to rub Zacky’s inner thigh, only gradually moving upwards as the seconds ticked by. I felt Zacky’s hand on mine, and he slid my hand to touch his manhood. I could feel him getting hard, considering he started fidgeting. I decided to toy with him a bit, and started to rub him through his pants. A low groan emitted from his mouth and into mine as I felt Zacky Not-So-Junior ‘rise’ to the occasion. Zacky pulled away, and I bit my lower lip as he looked at me with pleading eyes.

My eyes glanced everyone in the room. Valary and Matt were at the cuddling phase after making out, but they didn’t look like they were paying attention. Michelle and Brian were gone; I guess they went off to do ‘other things’. Lauren and Johnny were in a very heated makeout session, and I smiled slightly at how happy Johnny looked. Jimmy was still fast asleep, as I was expecting. Everything seemed clear, and no one looked like they were going to start paying attention to us anytime soon.

I looked back at Zacky, my hand still on his tent that he had pitched a few seconds ago, and he was still looking at me with those eyes. Did I really want to do this? I’ve never done this before, but still, it shouldn’t be that hard, right? I nodded, and Zacky’s face lit up before kissing me gently and starting to unbutton his pants. Once he did, I ran my hand down his stomach, and under his pants and boxers, taking a firm grip of his length. A gasp escaped Zacky’s lips and he buried his face into my neck as his arms around my body tightened. I chewed on the inside of my lip as I slowly began to pump my hand up and down, not so sure of what to do. Zacky groaned against my neck, and I felt his muscles tense in his legs as I pumped my hand faster. A puppy-like whimper came from Zacky’s throat as his breathing became heavy. He bit my neck, and then licked the mark he had made, causing me to sigh at the feel and move my hand faster. Zacky’s arms tightened around me as his lips brushed against my ear.

“Candace…” he groaned and bucked his hips into my hand. The sound of my name escaping his lips made something go off inside of me. I wanted more of this, I wanted more of him. With my free hand, I lifted Zacky’s chin so he could face me. His eyes were clouded with his lids heavily draping his eyes as his lips parted, letting out another groan of pleasure. I pressed my lips against his, and he wearily kissed back. After ten minutes or so, Zacky’s body jerked a bit, and I felt something ooze onto my hand. My eyes widened once I realized what it was and Zacky pulled away to let a moan escape his lips while he panted heavily.

“What the fuck are you two doing?” a voice said, causing my cheeks to redden and Zacky to immediately straighten his posture. We both looked to see Matt staring at us with wide eyes. I slipped my hand out of Zacky’s pants, ignoring the cum that was dripping on my fingers as I stared at everyone who had turned their attention to us after Matt’s outburst.
“Holy fuck, Ace…were you just…just…” Johnny couldn’t finish his sentence, because he soon started erupting with laughter, having to lean on Lauren, who was also laughing, for support.

I bit my lower lip and looked at Zacky, who had a goofy grin spread across his face. How could he be smiling at a time like this? Matt and Valary started to laugh as well, and Jimmy, who apparently had been awake long enough to know what was going on, had joined as well.

“Man, Ace, I’m really coming to you the next time I get hammered!” Jimmy laughed, holding his stomach that was probably in pain.

Zacky must’ve seen the look on my face, because I felt his lips against my cheek. “Don’t worry, baby.” He whispered. “If it makes you feel better, it felt amazing.” My heart fluttered at his words, and luckily no one heard him.

“Hey, Ace.” Johnny chuckled. I looked at him, and he had a slight smirk on his face. “Remember what I told you at the mall?”

I had to think about it, mainly because we had been to the mall together so many times. I thought back to the first time we were together alone, and how he told me he could see into the future, and that he saw me coming. I then remembered that he wouldn’t tell me what exactly he saw. I looked up at him with wide eyes, and he nodded. This is what he saw?
Well, at least I was right. I was embarrassed in front of everyone, and this was probably something they would never forget, meaning they would never let me live it down. I can’t believe I actually did that.