I'm Lost in Confusion

Here I am again as pathetic as usual. Doing nothing, as usual. Well if you call watching tv with your fat ass of a boyfriend doing something, yeah ok im doin something.

Jenn: " Brian move your fat ass over". I pushed him back.

Brian: " I was here first and you know it". He pushed back.

Jenn: " cause you woke me up". I said pushing his body away from mine.

Brian:" who sleeps in?"

Jenn:" it's a new thing you should try it, for once".

Brian:" no".

Jenn:" you think you would after being on tour for like a year, always getting up early."

Brian:" you've been on tour with us".

Jenn:" I think I was a total bitch during and after, cause I got no sleep."

He shook his head.

Brian:" turn the channel".

Jenn:" that would consist of me getting up, no".

Brian:" please!".

Jenn:" nope".

Brian:" please please".

Jenn:" you have a clicker".

Brian:" you and that word". He made fun of me.

Jenn:" now you can really change the channel by your self."

Brian:" not fair".

I got up, went into the kitchen to grab my daily cup of coffee. I looked around, I was amazed that the house was still clean, with out me wondering around cleaning up from this toddler that I live with. I walked back out to the living room, where he was “relaxing”. It look like he was dead, more than relaxing. One leg on top of the couch, arms sprawled out everywhere, blanket half way on. Crazy. I don’t think I could sleep like that even if I wanted to.

Jenn: “ you want coffee.”

He was sleeping.

Brian: “ only if you go out and get it.” he mumbled.

This kinda frightened me.

Jenn: “ why cant you have some from here?”

I bet he’s going to say its not star bucks, or you cant make it like they can.

Brian: “ I like my star bucks.”

I win.

Jenn: “ whatever im not getting dressed.”

Brian: “ when do you get dressed.”

Jenn: “ hey, get out of the house more than you.”

Brian: “ uh huh”.

Loser. I rolled my eyes.

I went up stairs, I went through our room and notice I have a shit load of laundry to do. I better get started, cause this could be a all day process. Brian has as much clothes as I do, maybe more. I walked down stairs with a shit load of clothes in my arms.

Brian: “ what you doing.”

Jenn: “ cleaning, you want to help me?”

Brian: “ no.”

Jenn: “ uh fine lazy.”

Brian: “ well, someone has to be the lazy one, I have more experience, and age.

I walked over to the washer, and loaded it up full of clothes. I walked out of the laundry room into the kitchen. I noticed something on the calendar for today. I took a closer look at it. Oh man I cant believe that I forgot it. I grabbed the phone. I dialed his phone number.

Jenn: “ hey its me, did you call him?”

Matt:“ no I feel weird.”

Jenn: “ well you need call, he’s your son and he’s three! You have to!”

Matt: “ I don’t know what to do”

Jenn: “come over here, I will call her and you can talk to him.”

He huffed.

Matt: “ yeah, ok.”

I thought I would at least give him the option of talking to him. Its been a while. I walked back into the living room. He was asleep. I decide to wake him, up. If I’m up, he needs to be up. I’m so mean.

Jenn:" you should get dressed or be descent, matt is coming over".

Brian:" why, it's not like he hasn't seen this fabulous body, that you love." he said pointing to his boxer Clad body.

Jenn:" ha ha funny.

Brian:” Fine. What for?"

Jenn:" it's Chad’s birthday today, he wants to call him but he doesn't want to call himself."

Brian:" it's his birthday?"

Jenn:" yes it is, fuck if it's not your birthday then fuck everyone else."

Brian:" I know your birthday".

Jenn:" no you don't".

Brian:" February".

Wow.

Jenn:" way to go, you did it".

He looked proud of himself. Loser.

There was a knock on the door. I walked over to it and saw matt standing there looking like he rolled out of bed. Messy hair everywhere. I noticed that he had his lip piercing in. Odd.

Matt:" oh my god, are you guys, you know."

Jenn:" does it look like it, I am clothed."

Matt:" well Brian". He pointed.

Jenn:" he said that you've seen him like this, so he stayed that way."

Matt: “ yeah I love your body dude.”

Brian: “ see, told you.”

Jenn: “ Shut up Brian.”

Matt followed me into the kitchen. I dialed their opps her number.

Melly: ‘”hello?”

Jenn: ‘”hey its me, I want to say happy birthday to Chad.”

Melly: “ yeah,ok hold on.”

She went to go get him.

Chad: “ Ello?”

Jenn: “ Hi Chad!”

Chad: “ Hi!” He screamed.

I laughed.

Jenn: “ Happy Birthday! How old are you?”

Chad: “ Tree”.

I love how kids talk like that, makes me giggle. I don’t giggle.
Jenn: “ wow you getting to be such a big boy.”

Chad: “yeah!”

Jenn: “ you want to talk to daddy?”

Chad: “ yeah”.

I gave the phone to matt.

Matt: “ hey buddy, h-happy birthday!”

He struggled to say it. It reminded me of my child hood, my parents got divorced when I was five, and I hope to god they never talk to each other again. But in this case it was the exact opposite. He smiled a bit as Chad talked to him. I have no idea what. You know babies in there language .

Matt:” what are you going to do to for your big day?”

More baby talk.

Chad: “ you talk to mom, here.”

Matt’s face grew into a nervous one.

He passed me the phone.

Matt: “ she hung up on me.”

I cant believe her, I am going to call her ass back for that one.

Jenn: “ I’m sorry matt.”

Matt: “ well I got to talk to him.”

Jenn: “ yeah.”

He went out to the living room to talk with Brian.

Maybe Brian is right, she needs to know that she’s fucking this up. You cant ignore someone for the rest of your life, she might try that, but I’m not letting that happen. I don’t think Brian will either.

Jenn: “ really brian, you still can get dresses?

Brian: “ what, this is my house, I can do what ever I want.”

Matt: “ it doesn’t bother me.”

Jenn: “ right.”

There was a knock at the door.

I stood there.

Brian: “ Are you going to get that?”

Jenn: “ I’m not your maid.”

Brian: “ you live here.”

Jenn : “ I don’t give a fuck.”

I answer it anyways.

It was zacky.

Zacky “ Hey”

I slammed the door in his face.

He opened the door.

Zacky: “ what the hell hoe!”

Jenn: “ shut up, know one wants to here you bitch.”

Zacky: “ I am hurt here.”

His arm was in a cast.

Matt: “what happened to you?”

Zacky: “ I feel down the stairs.”

Jenn: “ way to go.”

Zacky: “ oh ok, um I remember a certain someone telling me that they fell and broke there arm, and hers is a lot worse than.” he said.

Jenn: “ ok well I was like five, and you’re a grown man for fuck sakes.”

He gave me a mean death glare.

Brian: “ oh yeah , I remember when you told me that.” he laughed.

Jenn: “ Its not funny.”

Matt: “ well it kinda is.”

Jenn: “ no that’s just mean.”

They laughed at me.

Jenn: “ well you wait till one of your kids falls and breaks their arm, I bet you wont be laughing.”

Zacky: “ I am a kid.”

Brian: “ yeah, we don’t have a kid.”

Jenn: oh wow, ok. Well I’m going to go do laundry, and let you retards talk.”

I walked off. Bunch of fucking idiots. I did all the laundry. I was proud of myself, someone has to be. Brian isn’t going to do it.

Brian:” JENN!!!!”

I walked down stairs.

Jenn: “ what.”

Brian: “ were leaving, were going out to dinner, and will be back later.”

Jenn: “ fine, have fun on your man date. Ill just be here all alone, in this big house.”

Zacky: “ shut up your fine.”

Jenn: “ You wont be fine after I drop kick your ass.”

Matt:” Damn! Bitch got you!” he pointed at zacky and laughed.

He flipped me off.

Jenn: “ whatever son.” I walked up stairs.

Brian: “ BYE!!”

Why does he have to yell. The door slammed. I was getting bored with myself. I wanted to do some shopping. I got on to the computer. I found some clothes that I liked, I finally found flowers for the wedding, so I ordered those. What else, oh yeah, I found some stuff for Brian, so it doesn’t look like it was all for me. I ran into our room, Brian is a cheap ass date, so he leaves his wallet at home, so he doesn’t have to pay. I went through his dresser drawer. Ha there it is. I opened it up, and searched for a black platinum visa card. Ha! Found it. I placed my orders. I searched for more things. There was just one more thing I wanted. I typed in the card number, entered the name on the card. It wouldn’t go. I have entered to a million times. It was making me frustrated as fuck. I called Brian.

Brian: “ yes?”

Jenn: “ they kicked me off.”

Brian: “ they what?”

Jenn: “ they kicked my ass off.”

Brian: “ are you buying shit?”

Jenn: “ yes, and they kicked me off.”

Brian: “ there is a daily limit on my card.”

Jenn: “ what! Why!.”

Brian: “ its for people like you, who buy way to much.”

Jenn: “ ok well, there is still more stuff I need to get!”

Brian: “ Why are you using my card.”

Jenn: “ Cause you have a bigger limit than me, hello?”

Brian: “ Great, so you wasted like 10 grand, on nothing.”

Jenn: “ unless you think us getting married is nothing.”

I wasn’t going to tell him, I got other things.

Brian: “ it was 10 grand though.”

Jenn: “ um yeah, hello someone has to be my sugar daddy.”

Brian: “ huh”. he defiantly sounded annoyed with me. I don’t care.

Jenn: “ so I have to wait till tomorrow?

Brian: “yes.”

Jenn: “ fine.”

He hung up on me. What a bitch. I walked down stairs to go to the garage to grab a drink out of the fridge. I walked past our two cars, and then my baby. I put her away, cause I don’t drive her anymore, to many miles, but I wanted to keep her. Brian had put a cover over it. I walk past her, to the fridge. I heard some ruffling around. I turned around fast.

Voice: “ Hey you remember what year this car is?”

Jenn:” uh, jimmy?

Jimmy: “ yeah, are you going to use this car anymore?”

He said coming out from the car.

Jenn: “ what the hell, how long have you been in there.”

Jimmy: “ I come randomly. I really like your old car.”

Jenn:” uh ok, jimmy how come you haven’t called, or text?”

Jimmy: “ well you car doesn’t have the power through it when its off, so I would go back home and charge my phone, and get cleaned up. Then I would come back here, but id go out and stuff. I wasn’t here all the time”

Jenn: “ So you would sleep in my car?”

Jimmy: “ yeah. We’ve had some good times. But I want to know if your going to sell it?”

Jenn: “ it needs a lot of work, and its old. It has ton of miles.”

Jimmy:” work?”

Jenn: “ needs a new transmition.”

Jimmy: “ we can do that together.”

Jenn: “oh ok, sure.”

Jimmy: “ ill call Brian and tell him.

Jenn: “ok.”

Jimmy: “ Brian get parts for jenn’s old car, it needs a new transmition.”

Jimmy: “ what do you mean, what car, that jem. The Lexus, the cute little one. Look just get the parts, and come home. Bye.”

Jenn: “ Forceful much.”

Jimmy: “ you need to discipline him, he’s getting out of hand.”

I was surprised that he didn’t ask about her, maybe it’s a good thing. Or maybe he was going insane in his head , who knows. I was just happy that he came around.