I'm Lost in Confusion
Baby Hooker
Me and Jimmy sat on the couch discussing things.
Jimmy: “ you need to get him in line.”
Jenn:“ what do you mean, he’s out of line.”
Jimmy: “ he needs to respect you.”
Jenn: “ he doesn’t?”
I was slightly confused by this, I didn’t know if he was being serious or not.
Jimmy: “ he doesn’t help you around the house, he doesn’t help you with the wedding.”
Jenn: “ well that’s Brian for you.”
The door closed.
Brian: “ he jimmy, your back!”
Jimmy: “ yes I am. Did you get the parts for the car.”
Brian: “ why do you want you to fix that car?”
Jimmy: “ because I need a car.”
Brian: “ what happened to your Honda?”
Jimmy: “ I still have it, this one is for the ladies.”
I laughed.
Brian: “ ok you know its like 10 years old.”
Jimmy: “ have you done anything crazy in it, so when girls ask I can be like well….”
Jenn: “ uh well I ran over a curb, oh I got stuck in the snow, back home, it snowed bad! And that snow button will get you no where. So don’t use it!”
Brian:” you seriously tried to drive in the snow, wow.”
Jenn: “ well ok, I had just go it so I didn’t know.”
Jimmy:” I can tell them it’s a rugged car in the snow.”
Jenn: “ that’s right.”
Jimmy: “ Brian we need to get those parts!”
Brian: “ I cant, because someone racked my credit limit for the day so I cant.”
Jenn: “ you have a debit card friend” I smiled.
Jimmy: “ yeah use that.”
Jenn: “ do it.”
Jimmy: “we can wear matching over-halls.”
Jenn: “ that’s a little over the top, but ok.”
Brian: “ why don’t you use your debit card. It was your car.”
Jenn: “ Brian Elwin Brandon Haner Jr, you know I don’t use that. You make the bacon in this house, and I need to use it!”
Brian: “ My middle name is not Brandon, and ok fine we will get the parts.”
Jimmy: “ oh he so loves you, other wise you would not have gotten that bacon.” he said with some attitude.
Jenn: “ I Know.” I said with the same tone.
We both laughed.
He shook his head.
We went to some part store to get those miscellaneous parts that we needed. Wasn’t much.
We got home, and opened the garage door. He went in there and grabbed the cover off. Dust went every.
Jimmy: “ dusty.” he coughed
Brian pulled the car out, and popped the hood. We all huddled around it.
Jimmy: “ What kinda of engine is it?”
Jenn: “ V6”.
Jimmy: “ oh shit son. I can beat your asses in this fast beast.”
Jenn: “ I don’t think so jimmy, our cars have V8’s and her name is Leona. You have to call her that.”
Jimmy: “ ok I will. I can still beat you.”
Brian: “ you can sure try.”
Jenn: “ oh it has paddle shifting in it, so you can make it into a manual, if you want.”
Brian: “ no it doesn’t.”
Jenn: “ yes it does.”
Brian: “ no it doesn’t, why would it have that?”
Jenn: “ well they do have sport editions brian, and it does, right here.” I said pointing to the steering wheel.
Brian: “ so that’s why I was so confused.”
Jenn: “ well you should believe me then ass. I told you.”
Jimmy: “ geeze. I think we should race.”
Jenn: “ I think so to.”
Brian: “ I think that’s a bad idea.”
Jenn: “ well I think that your crazy, and I can do what ever I want.”
There was some whistling behind us.
Johnny.
Johnny: “ hey guys what are you doing”
Jimmy: “ we are working on this project.”
Johnny: “ Whoa! Jimmy dude your back!”
Jimmy: “ yes I’m back. Were going to race our cars.”
Johnny: “ oh ok then, you know there cars are going to win.”
Jenn: “ see told you, jimmy, this car is too old.”
Jimmy: “ no, now lets get into our clothes.”
We met back out side, jimmy had pig tails in he looked so wonderful. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Brian: “ wow jimmy, wow.”
Jimmy: “ were grease monkeys”.
Jenn: “ Yeah we are, Brian go get the book on how to fix this shit. I feel like im 5 years old, and I match my mom again”.
Jimmy: “ you and your mom match”
Jenn: “ yeah, my mom thought it would be cool, to match cause it look like I was her mini me or her, whatever, you know what I mean.”
Johnny: “ that is slightly amusing to hear.”
Jenn: “ I was going to take that to the grave, but there’s pictures.”
Johnny: “ at least she didn’t dress you like a hooker.”
Jenn: “ no she did, my grandma used to call me little baby hooker.”
Brian: “ Whose a hooker.” he walked out with a thick ass book.
Jimmy: “ jenn is a hooker, she’s retired though, sorry.”
Brian: “What?”
Johnny: “ Her mom made her be a hooker.”
Jenn: “ what! Not literally.”
Jimmy: “ TO WORK!”
I knew this was going to take more than a day. I don’t think Jimmy knows. But you never no, it is jimmy we are talking about. It was getting late, well it was dark out.
Jenn: “ Jimmy, its dark and I cant see. I cant even read this manual.”
Jimmy: “ we are working through the night, so get to it.”
I started to walk off quietly. Maybe he wouldn't hear.
Jimmy: “ NO! COME BACK HERE.” He yelled.
I screamed.
I took off running into the living room. Opened the door, and slammed it behind.
Brian: “ whoa, what’s going on?”
He looked confused and shocked. He must have been passed out.
Jenn : “ there’s a killer out there, and he started to come after me.” I said pointing outside.
Zacky: “ what are you talking about?”
Jenn: “ When the fuck did you get here?”
Zacky: “ I’ve been here for about 2 hours”
Brian: “ Well are you ok, did he hurt you?” he said grabbing me by the arm and turning me around.
Jenn: “ he’s crazy.”
There was pounding at the door.
Jenn: “oh fuck that’s got to be him.”
Johnny: “ Is this safe.”
Zacky : “ you’ve been drinking nothing is safe for you right now.”
The door flew open.
It was jimmy.
Jimmy: COME BACK HERE WE HAVE TO FINISH!”
Brian: “ this is the killer? Really?”
Jenn: “ he’s CRAZY!”
Jimmy: “ JENN! NOW!”
Jenn: “ No jimmy, I cant see anything.”
I took a seat on the arm of the couch where Johnny was sitting.
Zacky: “ I like your guys is matching over-halls.”
Jenn :” hey zacky.”
I asked for his attention.
Zacky: “ yeah?”
I flipped him off.
He glared at me.
He deserves it, that’s bitch.
Jimmy: “ why cant we finish it tonight?”
Jenn: “ because jimmy I have the eyes of a 85 year old person, I cant see, and I’m tired.”
Zacky laughed at me.
Jenn: “ don’t laugh, you have bad eyes to dumb ass.”
Jimmy: “ got you!”
We laughed. Who’s the joke now.
Johnny: “ Zacky how did you break your arm?”
Zacky: “ Ok so I was walking up the stairs, and I like missed a step and I fell, and I cracked my arm, on the lip of the stair it self. It just cracked my arm, right in half“. He pointed to the cast.
Jenn: “ Huh?”
That seems legit but I don’t know.
Brian: “ your fucking lying”
Zacky: “ no really, I did. You would think falling down the stairs but no!”
Jimmy: “ Poor Baby.”
Zacky: “ Jimmy its finally good to see you, for once in 5 years year’s.”
Jimmy: “ yes it is. Oh Brian I want to paint the car, Kiss silver, and I want a apple bottom green racing stripes on it to. Make it happen.” he said like he wasn’t fazed by anything, like he was his rich daddy, and what ever his princess wanted she or “he” got.
Brian: “ What! Why do I have to do it. Kiss sliver and apple bottom green?”
Jenn: “ its already silver.”
Brian: “ no its not, its like got gold pigment in it. Its Gold/Silver.”
Jenn: “ its escalade silver”.
Brian: “ don’t lie.”
Jenn: “ it is slut.”
Jimmy: “ I love your potty mouth.”
Jenn : “ thank you that means so much to me.”
He laughed.
Through out the night Johnny, continued to drink. Jimmy talked about smoking our asses in Leona. He was so excited about it. He’s crazy. It seemed to me like everyone has
forgotten about what was going on. With her being away. Everyone was having a good time. The pressure was relieved for a bit. I’m sure it will come back, soon. Someone will bring it up , and everything will go back to the same way it was. Stressful.
Jimmy: “ you need to get him in line.”
Jenn:“ what do you mean, he’s out of line.”
Jimmy: “ he needs to respect you.”
Jenn: “ he doesn’t?”
I was slightly confused by this, I didn’t know if he was being serious or not.
Jimmy: “ he doesn’t help you around the house, he doesn’t help you with the wedding.”
Jenn: “ well that’s Brian for you.”
The door closed.
Brian: “ he jimmy, your back!”
Jimmy: “ yes I am. Did you get the parts for the car.”
Brian: “ why do you want you to fix that car?”
Jimmy: “ because I need a car.”
Brian: “ what happened to your Honda?”
Jimmy: “ I still have it, this one is for the ladies.”
I laughed.
Brian: “ ok you know its like 10 years old.”
Jimmy: “ have you done anything crazy in it, so when girls ask I can be like well….”
Jenn: “ uh well I ran over a curb, oh I got stuck in the snow, back home, it snowed bad! And that snow button will get you no where. So don’t use it!”
Brian:” you seriously tried to drive in the snow, wow.”
Jenn: “ well ok, I had just go it so I didn’t know.”
Jimmy:” I can tell them it’s a rugged car in the snow.”
Jenn: “ that’s right.”
Jimmy: “ Brian we need to get those parts!”
Brian: “ I cant, because someone racked my credit limit for the day so I cant.”
Jenn: “ you have a debit card friend” I smiled.
Jimmy: “ yeah use that.”
Jenn: “ do it.”
Jimmy: “we can wear matching over-halls.”
Jenn: “ that’s a little over the top, but ok.”
Brian: “ why don’t you use your debit card. It was your car.”
Jenn: “ Brian Elwin Brandon Haner Jr, you know I don’t use that. You make the bacon in this house, and I need to use it!”
Brian: “ My middle name is not Brandon, and ok fine we will get the parts.”
Jimmy: “ oh he so loves you, other wise you would not have gotten that bacon.” he said with some attitude.
Jenn: “ I Know.” I said with the same tone.
We both laughed.
He shook his head.
We went to some part store to get those miscellaneous parts that we needed. Wasn’t much.
We got home, and opened the garage door. He went in there and grabbed the cover off. Dust went every.
Jimmy: “ dusty.” he coughed
Brian pulled the car out, and popped the hood. We all huddled around it.
Jimmy: “ What kinda of engine is it?”
Jenn: “ V6”.
Jimmy: “ oh shit son. I can beat your asses in this fast beast.”
Jenn: “ I don’t think so jimmy, our cars have V8’s and her name is Leona. You have to call her that.”
Jimmy: “ ok I will. I can still beat you.”
Brian: “ you can sure try.”
Jenn: “ oh it has paddle shifting in it, so you can make it into a manual, if you want.”
Brian: “ no it doesn’t.”
Jenn: “ yes it does.”
Brian: “ no it doesn’t, why would it have that?”
Jenn: “ well they do have sport editions brian, and it does, right here.” I said pointing to the steering wheel.
Brian: “ so that’s why I was so confused.”
Jenn: “ well you should believe me then ass. I told you.”
Jimmy: “ geeze. I think we should race.”
Jenn: “ I think so to.”
Brian: “ I think that’s a bad idea.”
Jenn: “ well I think that your crazy, and I can do what ever I want.”
There was some whistling behind us.
Johnny.
Johnny: “ hey guys what are you doing”
Jimmy: “ we are working on this project.”
Johnny: “ Whoa! Jimmy dude your back!”
Jimmy: “ yes I’m back. Were going to race our cars.”
Johnny: “ oh ok then, you know there cars are going to win.”
Jenn: “ see told you, jimmy, this car is too old.”
Jimmy: “ no, now lets get into our clothes.”
We met back out side, jimmy had pig tails in he looked so wonderful. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Brian: “ wow jimmy, wow.”
Jimmy: “ were grease monkeys”.
Jenn: “ Yeah we are, Brian go get the book on how to fix this shit. I feel like im 5 years old, and I match my mom again”.
Jimmy: “ you and your mom match”
Jenn: “ yeah, my mom thought it would be cool, to match cause it look like I was her mini me or her, whatever, you know what I mean.”
Johnny: “ that is slightly amusing to hear.”
Jenn: “ I was going to take that to the grave, but there’s pictures.”
Johnny: “ at least she didn’t dress you like a hooker.”
Jenn: “ no she did, my grandma used to call me little baby hooker.”
Brian: “ Whose a hooker.” he walked out with a thick ass book.
Jimmy: “ jenn is a hooker, she’s retired though, sorry.”
Brian: “What?”
Johnny: “ Her mom made her be a hooker.”
Jenn: “ what! Not literally.”
Jimmy: “ TO WORK!”
I knew this was going to take more than a day. I don’t think Jimmy knows. But you never no, it is jimmy we are talking about. It was getting late, well it was dark out.
Jenn: “ Jimmy, its dark and I cant see. I cant even read this manual.”
Jimmy: “ we are working through the night, so get to it.”
I started to walk off quietly. Maybe he wouldn't hear.
Jimmy: “ NO! COME BACK HERE.” He yelled.
I screamed.
I took off running into the living room. Opened the door, and slammed it behind.
Brian: “ whoa, what’s going on?”
He looked confused and shocked. He must have been passed out.
Jenn : “ there’s a killer out there, and he started to come after me.” I said pointing outside.
Zacky: “ what are you talking about?”
Jenn: “ When the fuck did you get here?”
Zacky: “ I’ve been here for about 2 hours”
Brian: “ Well are you ok, did he hurt you?” he said grabbing me by the arm and turning me around.
Jenn: “ he’s crazy.”
There was pounding at the door.
Jenn: “oh fuck that’s got to be him.”
Johnny: “ Is this safe.”
Zacky : “ you’ve been drinking nothing is safe for you right now.”
The door flew open.
It was jimmy.
Jimmy: COME BACK HERE WE HAVE TO FINISH!”
Brian: “ this is the killer? Really?”
Jenn: “ he’s CRAZY!”
Jimmy: “ JENN! NOW!”
Jenn: “ No jimmy, I cant see anything.”
I took a seat on the arm of the couch where Johnny was sitting.
Zacky: “ I like your guys is matching over-halls.”
Jenn :” hey zacky.”
I asked for his attention.
Zacky: “ yeah?”
I flipped him off.
He glared at me.
He deserves it, that’s bitch.
Jimmy: “ why cant we finish it tonight?”
Jenn: “ because jimmy I have the eyes of a 85 year old person, I cant see, and I’m tired.”
Zacky laughed at me.
Jenn: “ don’t laugh, you have bad eyes to dumb ass.”
Jimmy: “ got you!”
We laughed. Who’s the joke now.
Johnny: “ Zacky how did you break your arm?”
Zacky: “ Ok so I was walking up the stairs, and I like missed a step and I fell, and I cracked my arm, on the lip of the stair it self. It just cracked my arm, right in half“. He pointed to the cast.
Jenn: “ Huh?”
That seems legit but I don’t know.
Brian: “ your fucking lying”
Zacky: “ no really, I did. You would think falling down the stairs but no!”
Jimmy: “ Poor Baby.”
Zacky: “ Jimmy its finally good to see you, for once in 5 years year’s.”
Jimmy: “ yes it is. Oh Brian I want to paint the car, Kiss silver, and I want a apple bottom green racing stripes on it to. Make it happen.” he said like he wasn’t fazed by anything, like he was his rich daddy, and what ever his princess wanted she or “he” got.
Brian: “ What! Why do I have to do it. Kiss sliver and apple bottom green?”
Jenn: “ its already silver.”
Brian: “ no its not, its like got gold pigment in it. Its Gold/Silver.”
Jenn: “ its escalade silver”.
Brian: “ don’t lie.”
Jenn: “ it is slut.”
Jimmy: “ I love your potty mouth.”
Jenn : “ thank you that means so much to me.”
He laughed.
Through out the night Johnny, continued to drink. Jimmy talked about smoking our asses in Leona. He was so excited about it. He’s crazy. It seemed to me like everyone has
forgotten about what was going on. With her being away. Everyone was having a good time. The pressure was relieved for a bit. I’m sure it will come back, soon. Someone will bring it up , and everything will go back to the same way it was. Stressful.
♠ ♠ ♠
YEAH RIGHT! CATS!