I Want to Hold You, for Now and Forever

Author Unknown:

"Love is stronger than death even though it can't stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can't separate people from love. It can't take away our memories either. In the end, life is stronger than death.”

I woke up in an empty bed and for the first time, I wasn’t worried that he left. Okay, maybe the fact that I could hear him, Zacky and Shads outside my room had nothing to do with it. He told me last night that he wouldn’t leave without a fight so I’m going to ignore the nagging voice in the back of my head and trust him. With a yawn I got up and opened my door, which got the guys attention

“Want to put some clothes on?” Shads asked

“Nah I’m good” I smiled. So what? I was in short shorts and a vest top, Brian didn’t complain

“Yeah, she looks good” Brian agreed

“Suck up” Zacky coughed and I laughed

“What time is it” I asked with a yawn

“11:40 am” Zacky replied. My eyes went wide in shock

“Fuck!” I screamed before I ran into my room finding clothes, throwing on whatever I found. ‘I’m going to be so late’ I thought as I ran out of my room

“What’s wrong?” Syn asked

“I’m 10 minutes late for class, why didn’t you wake me?” I voiced in a desperate tone

“You were tired so I didn’t want to wake you, Beci agreed” Awww he was so sweet but still... Shad’s interrupted my thoughts

“Don’t go” Yeah, because it was that easy

“But if I don’t it will affect my attendance which then could affect my scholarship”

“One day won’t get you kicked out” Zacky laughed. He has a point but still, what if I missed something important. I need to stop frickin’ worrying

“Stop talking to yourself. Just chill” Brian chuckled… Damn him, how did he know? I looked at him and gave a shy smile

“Well what are we going to do if I don’t go?”

“Bowling!!" Zacky screamed scaring the shit out of us all

“Alright dude, chill the fuck out” Matt said as he slapped Zacky over the head

I laughed “Alright I’m in”

The boys got dressed and we made our way down there. Luckily, Beci and I had a car we shared, we didn’t use it much ‘cause we lived close enough to everything to walk but when the girls decided it was road trip time, it came in handy. Once we arrived, me and Zacky ran in, we were way too excited about this, Matt and Bri followed behind us and he looked extremely gorgeous in his ripped jeans and a black top that was V shaped at the collar but hey, doesn’t he always. I laughed to myself thinking ‘that’s my husband’

“What you laughing at?” Zacky inquired with his brows furrowed

“Nothing” I said still giggling

“Liar, Tell meeee!” he whined as I rolled my eyes. I loved this boy to death

“Just the voices in my head”

“About your ‘Husband’?” he laughed

“If you must know, yes, He looks extremely hot today” I grinned and he pulled a disgusted face

“Dude, that’s my bro”

“And your point is?” I laughed at his face as Bri and Matt walked up to us at the counter. A tall, geeky looking guy walked over to us asking the sizes of our shoes. I looked around the lanes and my jaw dropped at the site in one of the lanes. My ex boyfriend with his latest conquest, he noticed me and smirked as I growled, yes I fucking growled

“Did you just growl?” Shads asked as Brian and Zack looked at me.

“I guess” I nervously chuckled before looking back. Eurgh, my ex was a bastard but luckily there weren’t many lanes taken so we most likely won’t get one next to him

“Your in lane 6” I spoke too soon, we were in the next one. This could end up with me going to jail. Trust fate to shit on my day. We walked over as Bri was telling a joke and we were laughing at him.

“So you boys any good at bowling?” I quizzed

“I’m better than these guys, are you?” Shads beamed

“I was when I was younger but then I got shit and threw tantrums whenever I lost” I laughed

“Sore loser?” Brian grinned

“Hey! I’m just competitive. Not like I still do it” I stuck my tongue out

“Bet you do, Zacky still does” Matt laughed and Zacky smacked him upside the head and which cause us all to crack up. I was trying my damn hardest to ignore my ex, Alex, in the next lane but he kept looking at me. We were half way through our game with Shads leading as I heard him talk to me

“Hey Chloe”

“Fuck off” I snapped as the guys looked at me. Seriously, I didn’t want to do this in front of them but I won’t hesitate to start drama when provoked, okay I know he wasn’t provoking me but he was doing it to annoy me

“Why the hostility?” he smirked

“Just leave me alone Alex”

“Still a bitch as always” he laughed

“Go fuck yourself you piece of shit”

“So which one you fucking then?” I turned to look at him; I knew I could still hear that smirk

“Why? Jealous?”

“Why would I be jealous of one of them fucking a whore like you?” Ouch. That literally hurt.

“Dude, what’s your problem?” Syn asked, he was stood in a protective stance by me so I stood up to stand next to him

“So it’s him then” He laughed

“You know what Alex; just go back to whatever fucking hole you crawled from. Oh and by the way” I said moving my head to look at the girl he was with “Sweetheart, I was with him for nearly a year and I’m going to be brutally honest with you. He thought the way to get a woman was by smacking her around and telling her that she was worth shit. Alex, if you could have at least made me cum, even just once, I probably would have put up with all your shit longer” he looked at me in shock

“What? You think I’m still scared of you?” I said in a thick British accent before laughing “After all the shit you put me through, you thought it wouldn’t have made me stronger? At first, I was so scared of living without you until I realised how much you truly and utterly fucked me up and I despise you for that. I hope she can get out whilst she can” I turned around so he couldn’t see the tears in my eyes but the guys could, I blinked them back before they fell

“Get the fuck out of here before I break you in half” Brian said in a deep and scarily low voice. With that, Alex and the girl left. Poor bitch, she’ll find out what the hell it feels like

“You ok?” Zacky asked and I nodded. I felt Brian put his arm around my shoulders and I leant into his touch, I could feel the tears well up again but as usual, I wouldn’t let them show. I felt Shads hand on my leg and Zacky taking my hand. Alex fucked me up so bad. I never cried, about anything but he had the power to do that to me, I hated it

“Babe, he’s gone now”

“Yeah, I know” I tried to smile

“You okay?” Zack looked worried

“Yeah” I half laughed “He just fucked me up is all. Let’s carry on playing” I said in a little cheer voice and we did. Even though Shads was in the lead, Zacky won, it was hilarious. I guess Shads was just as competitive. Because me and Beci had to work that night, we decided that it was best if we headed back. When we walked through the door, we saw Jen and Jimmy making out as Beci looked disgusted. Her face made us burst out laughing

“If you two are going to do that, fuck off to your own place” Beci said, still disgusted

“Nope, we’re fine just here” Jen laughed before I smacked her upside the head

“HA!” Beci shouted

“Bestie, seriously, I don’t want to see that” I said looking at her. She laughed as I waited for a smartass comment but it didn’t come, instead she shrugged

“Where have you guys been?” Jimmy inquired

“Bowling…. And I won” Zacky beamed

“How the hell did you win?” Jimmy Laughed

“No idea but Shads face was funny as hell” Brian joined in as I looked at him. I want to hump him. Yes, I said hump, I like the word it’s cool. We haven’t had sex yet, I don’t want to until I know for sure that it has a good chance of working. Last night we kind of fooled around, in the sense that we made out and felt each other up a bit but I guess I was too scared to let it go further, I don’t want to feel used afterwards.

“What time you got work?” Jen asked

“6” Beci said walking over to Shads and passionately kissing him. Yucky

“Pot. Kettle. Black” I stared at her as she winked. It was 4:00 so I guess, I’m going to go change. I walked into my room to find clothes to wear, we didn’t have uniforms, Tony wanted a comfortable feel to the place and it did, I didn’t like wearing uniforms anyway. I pulled on a Mötorhead tee with black skinny jeans and a white belt. Bri walked into my room as I was straightening my hair and sat on the end of my bed

“You okay after earlier?” I nodded “You sure?” he pushed

“Yeah, he just hurt me a lot sweets, in more ways than one”

“I kind of guessed” His head was down as he played with his hands

“Are you okay” I asked

“He hurt you?” he said it as a question but he meant It as more of a statement. I turned to look at him as he looked me in the eyes

“Yeah” I sighed

“Physically?” I nodded again. “I should have guessed” he continued

“It’s not that easy to tell. The girls are the only ones who know. It’s not something I’m proud of because I always said if anyone hurt me like that then I would leave, guess I ate my words, I was in way too deep and I loved him way too much”

“I understand, just wish I had a warning. I wanted to kill him” I walked over to him and straddled him, looking him in the eyes. I was falling hard. I kissed him on impulse and he retaliated, our tongues were fighting for dominance and I wanted him now. He tossed us over and he hovered over me with that sexy smirk that he wears so well, he roughly smacked our lips together whilst he hand brought my left leg up to his waist. It was getting heated rather quickly as I started pulling at his top and just as he was about to pull it off, there was a knock on the door and Beci Shouted

“20 minutes before we leave” and I replied okay. I was going to cave in; I have low will power and if I didn’t have my girls I would have done a lot worse than I have when it came to guys. He sighed

“Patience baby” I smiled and pecked his lips

“Yeah I know”

“I understand that you have needs but I don’t want to rush into this, I don’t want to ruin it”

“Yeah I know. I just want you” He said looking into my eyes, I swear I forgot where I was. His dark eyes were mesmerising and that was part of my downfall. Sometimes I swear he could see into my eyes and into my soul.

“I know. I feel the same but this is better for the long run rather than just jumping in” He smiled at me. Damn him and his sexiness, I may just cave in but with little will power I had, I got up to finish my hair and make up, he sat there watching me. I grabbed his hand and walked out the room looking at him with a smile the whole time.

“You ready?” Beci asked

“Uh huh” I smiled. We said our goodbyes and left for work. Once we arrived, we were greeted by Tony and we set up, ready for our shift

“So what’s going on with you and lover boy” I playfully asked, she smirked

“Great. It’s amazing; I’m falling so hard for him”

“I’m happy for you, I really am blud, and you’ve deserved this for so long” I said hugging her. She really did deserve this, she was the greatest

“What about you?” She asked offering me a drink

“I think I’m falling for him but I’m still scared. I saw Alex today at the bowling alley” I frowned

“Aw, babe. You okay?” I shook my head

“It stirred up so much, I had flash backs and it reminded me of how much shit he put me through and I started to doubt this thing with Bri” Tears welled up, Eurgh! Why does this have to happen every time I talked about him, he isn’t and never was worth it. Beci grabbed me and hugged me and I sighed, hugging her back

“He isn’t like Alex babe. He would never do that to you, I know he wouldn’t” She knew something, I could tell and she knew I knew she knew something so she started to tell me “Matt told me some stuff about his last relationship. It didn’t end too well, she cheated on him whilst they were on the road and that’s why he kind of just slept around for a while. You need to pay attention to him G, he’s been hurt too and he’s most likely going through the same shit that you are. He has the same doubts you do” I nodded, it kind of made sense now. I was being selfish, thinking of myself and it affected me. When we argued he told me that I didn’t think about him in this and he was right I didn’t but I never understood relationships, they always confused me, I never knew what the other wanted without me being told and I guess I still didn’t learn. I need to make it up to him and I know just exactly how. Me and him, alone, just us.

I know I’ve said so many times that I was going to try but I guess I lied. This time I was serious about it and I know I was going to need some help to pull this off. Luckily, the soccer season was over and so was uni in a few days but I needed to do this quickly, to show him that I wasn’t going to let this fail but most importantly, I couldn’t fail him. I was falling in love with him, whether that meant bad news or not.