I Want to Hold You, for Now and Forever

Pope Paul VI:

“Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say. Whatever you want to do, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.”

Okay so maybe it took me a few days to sort it out, which I guess was perfect. It was the day we had finished uni and all the girls helped me, they’re angels but the guys were equally as good as they helped keep Brian off the trail that I was up to something. I was really nervous about this because I was putting myself out there as never before and I hope he sees that, I hope he finally sees what this is starting to mean to me.

“You excited?” Charl giggled… such a school girl sometimes

“Yeah, so much!” I giggled too… meh, so am I

“You’re being so brave babe” Dani hugged me. Wow I was getting a lot of support on this and I guess the surprise on my face showed because Jen laughed

“Chlomo, we’re proud of you. You’ve never done this before and you’re being courageous” She hugged me

“Hey!” Beci shouted “I’m trying to finish her hair here! But yeah we’re proud of you. Now girls, help or fuck off” she said sternly. The girls looked a little taken back by Beci’s outburst

“You okay Beci Boo?” I asked, she was also so sweet and unless she was pushed never really had outbursts as such

She sighed “I suppose”

“What’s wrong, sweets?” Charl asked

“Matt” we all Oh’d at this before she carried on “We had an argument today about something so stupid and I’m still so confused as to why it happened”

“Anything different?” Dani asked

“I’ve been moodier lately” she shrugged

“Yeah, I could tell this morning when you snapped at me for tripping over your shoe” Charl said with a roll of her eyes and I snickered a little, She’s so silly sometimes

“I think I’m pregnant” Beci suddenly confessed and our Jaws dropped

Matt’s pov

I don’t know whether its because of the stress of the last few days or what, maybe the time of the month but she was so fucking moody, it was unbelievable, any little thing I did she would snap my head off for and I don’t know why. Half of me was worried that something was wrong and that maybe she didn’t want to be with me, whereas the other half was purely pissed off. We walked through the door of Beci and Chloe’s apartment with 2 of our friends from back home, the widely famous, Berry Brothers. We missed those dudes as when we came here, they stayed home

“Nice place” JB said looking around “Small… but cosy”

“Yeah, it’s alright” MB agreed “So what we doing tonight? Getting wasted?” He knew what was going on; we filled both of them in so they didn’t mess the plan up

“Yeah bro, I’m up for that” Brian beamed. So unaware. We heard the girls talking through the slightly open door as we, ourselves, made small talk until we heard

“I think I’m pregnant” What?! That was Beci… yeah that was definitely Beci. We all went silent and I could feel the guy’s eyes on me. The door opened widely and there stood Chloe. Wow, she looked good even though she was still in her dressing gown. She looked panicked and I knew, she knew we heard.

“Erm... Hi” she nervously chuckled “How long you been here? What are you doing here and who are they?” she finally breathed. Zacky laughed and pounced on her

“Sup twin” he pinned her down

“Twinny, get off me before my tits fall out of my gown” The guys laughed but I remained silent. What if she was? What would I do? I mean I always wanted to be a dad but so soon? We haven’t been together that long. Chloe must have seen my concern and hugged me

“Don’t worry, sweets, she isn’t sure” she whispered as Beci came out with red, puffy eyes that went wide when she saw us

“H...H...How long you been here?” she stuttered. I just stared before getting up and walking out. I couldn’t deal with this. My brain was on overdrive.

Beci’s Pov

He heard, oh my god, he heard. What am I going to do? I can’t believe he’s just walked out on me, what if I am? Then what, he’s just going to walk out on me permanently. I can’t deal with this. I ran into my room and slammed the door. I think I’ve just fucked everything up.

Normal pov

Everything has officially been screwed and I sighed with a frown looking at Jen, who in return gave me a sympathetic smile. This can’t be happening. I went into Beci’s room with Jen as Charl and Dani ‘entertained’ the guests, well to be honest Charl does way too much entertaining as it is.

“Rebecca look at me” I said firmly. I crumbled as I saw the tears glistening on her face and I pulled her into a tight embrace “It’ll be ok, you just need a test, that’s all”

“He wasn’t supposed to know, I was going to do it then tell him. What if I can’t fix this” She’s heartbroken, for the first time in a long time, she’s heartbroken.

“Then we pick up of what’s left babe” Jen said stroking her hair “He’ll come around, he’s scared. Imagine how you’d feel if that was you in his situation” She nodded

“Then he should try and feel what it’s like in my situation” she sobbed harder. This shit was going to make me cry, I could tell Jen was starting to well up with me.

“Maybe I should postpone tonight” I questioned

“No!” Beci shouted “We worked way too hard on this. I’ll be fine, I always am. Now get the fuck up, go into your room and I’ll be there in a minute” and with that, she composed herself. I admired her strength so much.

“Bec, I can’t leave you like this” I frowned. She smiled softly

“You’re leaving me with the girls, Chlo Bo. I’ll eat tons of ice cream and watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s, I promise” This was our guide to heartbreak. Ice cream and every Audrey Hepburn movie ever made

“No Wuthering Heights?” I faintly laughed as she nodded. What? We cant resist a bit of Lawrence Oliver

“That too” Jen pulled us both into a hug. I just pray that she’s going to be ok. As we came out the room, everyone stared and Jen started to look around

“What are you doing?” I laughed

“What are they staring at? Do I have something on my face?”

“Yes. Eyes, a nose and a mouth” Beci laughed as did the others “There staring at us you dick”

“Didn’t have to be mean about it” she tried to pout but instead broke out into a wide grin

“What are you guys doing?” Syn inquired

“We’re going out” Charl and Dani started walking into my room with Jen and Beci.

“Where are you going?” He probed further

“Like I said, we’re going out” I grinned, he looked confused; Poor boy.

“Where?”

“You’ll see” I said before I shut my door but not before I heard Johnny ask for a cookie which made me laugh. It seems Rev and Zack went after Shad’s as they were no longer in the room

“You sure you’re okay?” Charl hugged Beci

“I will survive” she said in a sing song voice, we shared a giggle and a glass of wine whilst I finished getting ready. I wore a black strapless babydoll dress that came up mid-thigh. I wore the same necklace I got for my 18th birthday; I never took it off, my luck charm as I referred to it. I wore what I called hooker heels, which were silver and matched my silver accessories. My hair was in a messy-ish bun to the side with my side fringe going over my face, my make up was nothing different, I prefer it the way it is.

“I’m ready for my close up” I giggled as did the girls

“Aww you looking stunning babe” Charl hugged me “you better get laid tonight otherwise I’ll push you on him myself” we laughed again. I breathed out heavily before opening the door. I walked out the room and the guys’ jaws hit the floor, guess I do look good

“Huh?” Johnny scrunched up his face and I tilted my head in confusion. JB smacked him upside the head, which made me giggle; yes the wine had definitely gone to my head. I noticed Shads, Zack and Rev were back in the room and I winked in Shads direction and he smiled

“You ready?” I looked at Brian

“Huh?” guess he grabbed the confusion and ran with it “What do you mean?”

“I told you we were going out, now get a move on”

“I thought you meant the girls”

“Nope. Me and you, handsome” I smiled and winked at him

“But I look like shit” I pulled him up

“Shut up, you never look like shit and where we’re going, you wont need to change” I smiled and he nodded as we walked out the door

Brian’s Pov

She looked beautiful and she did this for me. What did I do to deserve this? I grabbed her hand and she smiled up at me

“Where are we going?” I asked her as we walked out of the building

“It’s a surprise” she replied with the smile still on her face. Stunning. We walked in silence, it wasn’t awkward in the slightest, and it was peaceful and calming. She led me up a small path and the sight before me literally left me speechless. It was a secluded area surrounded with trees and bushes covered in fairy lights, and in the middle there was a table with an unlit candle on, which she quickly walked over and lit. I moved behind her and snaked my arms around her waist

“Why?”

“You deserve it” she put it simply

“No I don’t” I truly believed that but she gently laughed

“Yeah, you do. You’ve been nothing but amazing and patient with me. This is kind of my way of saying thank you, I appreciate it and I’m going to try hard when it comes to us” she turned around in my arms and pecked me on the lips, I smiled. Tonight’s going to be perfect.

“You didn’t need to do this though” she pressed her finger to my lips and told me to sit down as she placed some finger foods on the table and opened some wine. It was amazing and afterwards I helped her pack the stuff pack in the basket, it was brought in and moved the table out of the way, laying a blanket on the floor as we lied on it.

“I love the stars” she smiled and I turned to her, mirroring the smile

“Yeah”

“I’d never want to be offered the world. Just the stars” she looked into my eyes

“Why? I could give you it all” her smile widened. I know it was cheesy but it was honestly how I was feeling

“There’s too much hate in the world, too much violence and discrimination. The stars are full of peace, dreams and hope, everything I want. They have beauty that no one will ever truly be able to see because we’re too busy rushing ourselves through life, we never just stop and breathe. We never just stop to admire the beauty around us” That was deep; I just stared not knowing what to say. I pulled her into my arms and her head rested on my shoulder

“Never really thought about them like that I suppose”

“You see it in your music that’s why” I nodded and agreed

“Yeah, nothing can compare to it. Takes me to a place of serenity and calmness, I can play exactly what my heart feels” ‘That was girly’ the voice in my head said

“I agree, I have no clue how to play an instrument apart from a recorder, so I wouldn’t have your depth but I feel the same about the stars” least she didn’t think it was girly

“Not soccer?” I questioned

“Everything comes to an end eventually. I won’t play forever, not even after Uni”

“Why not?”

“I wasn’t meant too” she shrugged

“How do you know?” I was questioning everything, I know but she laughed

“Because I just do and stop questioning me” I laughed too “What about your music? See yourself playing forever?”

“I want to live forever, yes but I don’t think I will so I guess not” she pushed my shoulder and laughed again, that sweet sound

“You know what I meant”

“The band won’t last forever, I know it wont but we’ll try. The day I give up playing will be the day I lose the passion for it and I don’t see that happening”

“Good because you’re Jesus to My Lemmy God” she snuggled into me and I laughed quite hard

“What?” I asked

“I love the way you play, your emotion shines through with every chord you play and I love that about you but Lemmy is God so therefore you have to be Jesus, Okay?” she looked up at me

“I think I could deal with that”

We laid there for another 3 hours talking about everything and anything. From Families to Random stuff one of us would just burst out with, it was the best night I had in a long while. I think I’m falling for her and I know I’ve protected my heart from being burnt again but in one night, she calmed my fears and is knocking down the wall. She told me she knew I had been hurt and that she had to be careful with my heart as I did hers. That was the night I knew nothing would ever be the same again.