Whatever Happened To Needing No One?

You love it. I told him with a smirk. The playful, devious look on his face softened as he cupped my face in his hands.

I love you. Jonathan said as he stared deep into my eyes. I sat there, shocked, looking back at him. You don't have to say anything back. I just wanted you to know that. He told me as he pushed my hair out of my eyes. That's why I wanted you to move in here; because I love you. He leaned in to kiss me, but before his lips met mine I raised my hand and placed a finger to his lips. He looked at me questioningly.

I love you too. I choked out through my accumulating tears. The truth of it is that I am crazy in love with him. That's why I had been fighting it. I had never depended on anyone. I had learned rather quickly that the only person I could depend on was myself. Everyone else had a knack for letting me down, but Jonathan made me need him. I needed to see him every day. I needed to feel his lips. I needed to be around him. He had completely ruined me. His smile returned to his face as he sat up with me on his lap, facing him.

Oh, baby. He said against my lips. I love you. He muttered as he placed a bunch of fast kisses on my mouth. I laughed and then he set his eyes on mine. At that moment I could tell that he was feeling the same way I was, and it was really comforting. It’s crazy how your life can change so drastically in just a few moments. Jon wiped the stray tears from my cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Go start that movie so we can get to the love making.
- - -
Brent! I called out as I walked into our apartment. I unwrapped my scarf from around my neck and tossed it in the little wicker basket by the door that we keep hats and gloves and all that stuff in. Brennnnnnnt!!! I yelled louder this time as I began down the hallway from the door to the living room.

Hey Ry. He said as he positioned himself on the couch in front of the TV. Is it still snowing out there? I nodded in response, sitting at the end of the couch that he was on. It had been snowing for the last 48 hours. Sometimes the snow was light, but it had snowed non-stop and I was starting to think it was never going to stop. I sat there watching Brent watch TV and I could feel the nerves set in. As much as I was ready to move in with Jon, I didn't want to leave Brent. Are you okay? He asked without looking at me. When I didn't answer he turned his head in my direction. What’s up?

I’m moving in with Jonathan. I told him quickly and then waited for his response. He nodded.

That’s great, Ry!

You’re not angry? I asked. I was half expecting him to yell at me.

No! No I'm not mad. I think it’s a great thing for you guys.

You’ll be okay here by yourself? He laughed at my question.

I'm a big boy Ry. I can survive on my own, you know? I nodded and looked down. It kind of hurt that he didn't care if I left. I much would have rather had him yell at me instead of not giving a shit either way. It was like a slap in the face that he was so unmoved by this. If he was the one moving out on me I would have at least shown a little emotion.

Okay. I muttered as I got to my feet.

Don't go being like that! I know what you're thinking. I turned to face him. And believe it or not I am going to miss you. A lot. I could feel the tears pricking my eyes. But I knew from the minute you two got together that you would be moving out of here sooner or later. It’s not like we were going to be roomies forever! I nodded and looked to my feet. Are you crying?! He said with a laugh.

No.

Really? So those aren't tears coming out of your eyes?

Would you shut up! I'm having a moment here. Again he let out that booming laugh.

Calm down. You're not moving out of the country. You're moving minutes away. I nodded as I wiped my tears off my face with the sleeve of my sweater. If the whole living together thing doesn't work out you can always come back. I grinned at him and threw my arms around his neck.

I'm going to miss you. I muttered into his chest through my sobs.

Of course you are. Who’s going to save you from those running, human eating spiders? I laughed remembering all the times he had come to my rescue. And I doubt that Jonny is going to let you paint his fingernails. I laughed even harder this time. I know a few ways to get Jon to let me paint his nails. I am never going to forgive you for that time you ran out of nail polish remover and I had to go to practice with purple nails.

Yah right. You loved it! And if my memory is correct, you my friend, picked the colour. He laughed and shrugged it off.

That's not the point. The point is that all the guys saw me with purple finger nails. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him again. I was really going to miss this. I had been royally pissed off when I was forced to move in here, but it’s one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

Brent is more than just my roommate. He’s my best friend. I never thought we would have gotten so close. If you had told me six months ago that we would be like this I would have laughed in your face, but he knows more about me than just about everyone in the whole world. He’s always been here for me whenever I needed him. In a way he’s kind of like my security blanket. He has always been able to fix everything and make me feel better. If I had a bad day I knew that I could come home and Brent would make me forget everything. I felt completely safe here. I just hope that me moving out doesn't change our friendship.
- - -
I let out a long sigh as I flopped down on the couch inJon’s mine and Jonny’s apartment. I had just finished unpacking my boxes. It didn't really take all that much time. All I had was clothes and random stuff. I left my bed and furniture at Brent’s; it was useless to me here. I looked around the living room. This apartment was bigger than the one I shared with Brent. Not necessarily more rooms, it’s just a lot more spacious and spread out. There’s more breathing room. I guess that could be a good thing, but right now it just made me feel extremely lonely. Jon left this morning for a three day road trip. The guys have a game tonight against the Rangers and then the Islanders the day after tomorrow. He didn't want to leave me here alone already but, obviously, he had to.

The silence in this place was killing me so I decided to go for a walk. Jenna had gone to New York with the guys so I actually was completely alone in the city for the first time since I had been here. Now I wished I hadn’t taken the weekend off from the daycare center to move. I figured it would take me a couple days to get settled it...I wasn’t expecting to be done in half a day.

I stepped out into the chilly Chicago air. Despite the fact that the wind was bitterly cold, it was a beautiful late March day. The sun was shining brightly, causing me to need my oversized dark sunglasses. I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck as I walked the downtown streets. I passed the little Italian restaurant that Jon had taken me on our first date. To this day I still will never give in and tell him that it was actually a date. I grinned at the memory of that night as I continued walking.

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket to check the time and ended up dropping it into a pile of snow. Dammit! I muttered to myself as I bent down to dig it out of the snow. I wiped it dry and raised my eyes to the widow in front of me to see four adorable black eyes staring at me. I grinned widely and stepped into the store.

Well Hello! Greeted the older lady as she came from behind the cashier’s desk.

Hi! I replied as I made my way to the window I was just looking in.

How may I help you today, miss?

They are adorable! I told her as I crouched down to peer through the glass at the two blonde puppies that completely warmed my heart. The slightly smaller of the two was using the other’s head as a step stool in an effort to get higher up as it looked up at me.

She likes to do that. The woman told me with a smile. I laughed when it slipped landed on its fuzzy, tail covered butt.

How much? I asked her.

$600. She told me. We actually have a little promo. When you buy a puppy you get a collar and leash of your choice and a bag of puppy food for free. I smiled and nodded, still looking at the beautiful little puppy.

I’ll take her! I exclaimed as I reached into the little pen and picked her up. Immediately she began giving me little doggy kisses.

Okay! Well follow me and I will show you to the aisle with the leashes and collars. She told me as she began walking away. I glanced back at the glass and my heart just about broke when I saw the last little puppy sitting there by itself. Miss?

They look like they're the same age. I stated. Are they..

Yes. He’s her brother. There were five of them, but he’s the last. She told me with a smile as she pulled a few collars off the rack. I can’t leave him here by himself! I thought as I looked at his sad little face against the glass. His tiny tail was wagging a mile a minute and I knew that he, too, wanted out of that thing. I sighed. Jon is going to kill me.

I’ll take him too. I said. I wouldn't be able to enjoy having one knowing that I left her brother here just as alone as I felt in that apartment. The clerk’s eyes widened.

Alright! She exclaimed as she went to the pen and picked him up. Looks like you get to stay with your sister! She told him. Yes you do! She then handed him to me. I couldn't help but smile as the two of them started licking each other in my arms. Sure Jon might be a little shocked...but he’ll love them! How could you not love these two little cuties?