Whatever Happened To Needing No One?

The alarm clock went off, startling me awake. I groaned and laid back down. After about a minute I realized that Jon was not waking up so I nudged him. Jon. I said but he still didn't stir. Jon! I said louder this time as I shook him. JONATHAN!

What?! He grumbled in his best grumpy, I'm still tired so leave me the fuck alone voice.

Your alarm. I told him. He mumbled something under his breath and hit the snooze button.

You couldn't just turn it off?

Oh. Silly me. I thought when an alarm went off it meant ‘get the hell up.’ I told him sarcastically as I got out of bed. As my feet came in contact with the hardwood of the bedroom floor I felt like I was standing on ice. Jesus, Jon! It’s freezing in here. I went to the thermostat and saw that the temperature was significantly lower than what I had it set at last night. Did you turn this down?

Yah. It was a sauna in here last night.

77 degrees is not a sauna, Jonathan.

There's no need in having it so hot in here. Do you know how much energy that wastes?

Yah but 59 degrees?! I'm sorry that I'm not a fucking Eskimo. Unlike you, I get cold in the winter. Come on guys. I said to Sam and Roxie. Let’s leave daddy alone. He’s grumpy. I told them. I turned back to Jonathan. What do you want for breakfast?

Nothing. He mumbled as he shuffled through his dresser.

Fine. Nothing it is. I said as I left the room. If he wanted to be all pissy then that was fine by me.
- - -
RYAH! Jonathan screamed from the bedroom. GOD DAMMIT! I heard him scream and then I heard a loud crash. I rushed into the room and saw that the chair that was in the corner of the room was now upside down in the middle of the floor.

What the hell did you do that for?! I asked as I fixed the chair.

Look what your fucking dogs did. He screamed as he held up one of his black dress shoes. I took a closer look and noticed the teeth marks in the leather. They ate my fucking shoes. He said as he threw it across the room. It hit the wall and landed on the wood of the floor. I turned and faced him, shocked at his outburst. This wasn’t like him.

Well I guess it’s good that you've got more than one pair. I replied as I went and got his shoe. But we only have one wall so be careful if you're going to throw shit at it.

Don't start with me.

Don't start with you?!

YES! Don't start with me! This is my fucking apartment. If I want to throw stuff at the god damn walls I will. I stepped back, staring at him wide eyed.

Huh. I mumbled as I turned and left the room. I didn't know what to say to that. This was his apartment? So that's how he felt. I went out into the living room and sat on the couch, wrapping a throw blanket around me. I guess it’s true what they say. The truth does hurt. Shortly after, Jon came out and made his way into the kitchen.

What did you make for breakfast? He asked as he stood in the archway.

Exactly what you wanted. I told him with an angry smile. Nothing.

Ryah you know I have to eat something before I go to..

Well then maybe you should have told me what you wanted when I asked you. You said nothing. In case you didn't know this, I am not a mind reader Jonathan. If you say you want nothing than I'm going to assume that you mean you want nothing! He stormed back into the kitchen, mumbling under his breath. I jumped up off the couch and went after him.

If you have something to say to me then say it to my face. Don't go bitching about me under your breath.

I'm sick of this! I'm sick of cleaning up puppy pee, I'm sick the fucking five am walks, I'm sick of having to run everything thing I do by you first! I felt the tears poking the corners of my eyes. I need a breather. I'm suffocating here. I nodded and turned to go into the bedroom but he grabbed my arm. Ryah, I..

I get it. I told him as I pulled my arm from his grasp.

Maybe Jenna could take the puppies for the night and we.. He stopped when his cell phone rang. He glanced at the id and sighed. I have to go. I’ll see you later. He told me as he kissed my forehead. Jonathan turned and left the apartment leaving me standing there.
- - -
I turned the key in the door and pushed it open. I went into the apartment and stood there taking it all in. Even though I had been gone for a month it still felt so familiar to me. It was like a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders when I stepped through that door. I let Sam and Roxie off of their leashes and their little paws clicked on the floor as they ran around investigating this new place. I pulled my bags in and set them on the floor. I took a deep breath in. I knew this was the right thing to do.

I opened the door to my old room and smiled when I saw that it was just the way I had left it. I know Brent said that he would leave my room the way it was but a part of me didn't think he really would. I fell onto the bed, landing on my back. As I stared up at the ceiling the tears took over yet again. Why did life have to be so confusing? Jonathan wanted me to move in with him so badly. He was on the verge of packing me up and forcing me to move in when I told him that I would, so why the hell would he say this is my apartment? Why would he even think something like that?! We had been there for a month together and all of a sudden he was having issues with me being there? I shook my head, wiping the tears from my face. Maybe this really was best. It’s better now than five or six months down the road. Maybe he isn’t the only one that's suffocating...maybe I need a breather too.

Ryah?! I heard Brent’s voice from the doorway of my room. I sat up on the bed, still wiping at my eyes. The expression on his face changed from shock that I was there to pity. He came and sat down beside me with his arm around my shoulders. When did you get here?

Just a little while ago. I told him.

He doesn't know does he? Brent asked. I shook my head and began to cry for the millionth time today. Brent pulled me closer and that was it. As I cried into his chest I knew that there was no point in trying to stop. Nothing would work. I just needed to let it all out.