I've Been Waiting for You to Make Your Move

It’s been exactly a week since I walked in on something that changed everything for me. I hadn’t been counting the days, the only reason I know what day today is, is because of Dumbledore. I hadn’t gone to classes the entire week; Audrey and Jasmine just collected the homework assignments for me. I was excused from the classes by Dumbledore pulling a couple strings, being the Head Master and all. The only three people I have been around the entire week were Dumbledore, Audrey, and Jasmine. I can’t say I’ve been talking much, more like not at all.

I guess I was managing alright, who am I kidding. I’m a hopeless mess, but the crying has stopped a bit. The thing I appreciated about Audrey and Jasmine is they knew when something shouldn’t be brought up and they didn’t force me to talk about something.

“Renae…” Audrey looked at me.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“I know you don’t want to talk about Draco but, he keeps bugging Jasmine and I about talking to you. I tell him to piss off but he just gets more upset. The only thing he did say was you let yourself see what was in front of you, not the truth behind the picture.” Okay so everyone slips, so what if Audrey brought it up this one time.

I was still hurt over the matter obviously, I had isolated myself from everyone else, “Is he saying he didn’t cheat on me? Of course he’d say that, everyone who cheats tries to convince their girlfriend or boyfriend they hadn’t done anything. I am open minded though, Pansy most likely did start this, but he looked like he enjoyed it a little too much.” I sighed.

“I know you’re not in the best position right now…but it could have been interpreted wrong. She could have come onto him and you walked in at the wrong time before he pushed her off….Who knows…it couldn’t hurt too much to talk to him, could it?” Jasmine tried helping.

“I haven’t talked to him for a week. It’s been the most depressing time for me, besides constantly thinking of my father I never met. I don’t know if I have it in me to talk to him…he hurt me so much. Even if it wasn’t his doing he’s still a part of it.” I sighed again.

“To get past this you’ve still got to talk to him, get his side of the story. Then find out if it’s true or not.” Audrey insisted.

I inhaled deeply, “I’ll agree to this much. I won’t talk to him, yet. I will however start going to classes again.”

“That’s a good start, but if you start going to classes you know he’ll try to talk to you.” Jasmine noted.

“We’ll see.”

Monday came and I was up and ready to start going back to my classes. I left Dumbledore’s office in search of Audrey and Jasmine. I said I’d start going to classes again, I didn’t say I’d sleep in my dorm with skank bag Pansy.

I entered the Great Hall for the first time in a week, it felt like a year. I forgot how pretty the ceiling was until now. I walked over to the Slytherin table and I saw him, Draco. All over again I felt the pain he had caused me, I thought I would be okay seeing him. I guess I wasn’t. He looked up, I could tell he didn’t notice me. Until his eyes drifted over about twelve inches. I didn’t want to see his reaction; I turned my head the other way and continued walking down to the end of the table.

Audrey and Jasmine looked surprised, yet happy to see me. Knowing them they didn’t think I’d keep my word and go to classes, I guess I proved them wrong. I admit I was surprised in myself I had the guts to go to classes today but it was for the better.

After breakfast everyone went to their first class. I had Potions this morning, joy. Audrey sat with me and Jasmine sat next to Daphne because all the other seats were taken. I tried not noticing Draco walk in but I couldn’t help myself. He didn’t as so much look in my direction…not that I was complaining. He left me heartbroken why should he have the nerve to look at me.

Snape went on with his usual lecture and all I got from it was that we were to continue working on antidotes, which I haven’t even started, great. When we were all assigned to start work I decided to ask Snape about it. I doubt he’d give me sympathy but who knows.

I walked up to his desk, “Can I help you Miss Barker?” He scowled.

“Well I haven’t been in class to know much about antidotes…” I said silently.

“So I’m aware. Alright then you may work with Mr. Malfoy.” He looked back down to his parchment he had be reading.

“B-but Sir can’t I work with someone else?” I pleaded.

“You’re lucky I’m allowing you a partner at all. I think it’s fair enough I chose who it is. Now get started.” He sounded annoyed.

Great, just great. I had to work with Draco. This wasn’t going to be awkward or unpleasant at all. I walked slowly to my desk, perhaps too slowly because Snape felt the need to be pushy, “Malfoy help Miss Barker today.”

Snape was clearly pushing it. I have never been so irritated by him before. Draco looked at me for the first time since class started and nodded for me to come over. I sent a displeased look at Audrey and Jasmine and walked over to his desk. I sat down in the chair and made as much distance between us as possible.

We didn’t talk or make a sound for about ten awkward minutes. I wasn’t planning on getting help from him; I’d just ask Audrey or Jasmine later. I picked at my fingernails awkwardly. The time couldn’t go any slower.

“I’m sorry,” Draco whispered.

They were right, he would try talking to me. I didn’t expect it to ever be this hard to talk to him. I couldn’t say anything, I didn’t want to.

“I didn’t cheat on you Renae…I never would betray you like that.” He sighed.

I had to speak, “That’s not what it looked like from my position.”

“You jumped to conclusions. I went down to common room to find you and she was there. I went to leave and she asked me what I was looking for and I said you then she just came onto me. I was about to push her off, then you came in before I got the chance. Please believe me; I don’t like Pansy in anyway. I love you.” He had so much sorrow in his voice.

“I want to believe you I really do. But I can’t get that image out of my head, no matter how hard I try. I may have over reacted but you would have too.”

“Then believe me, I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and you walked in on it.”

“She would have tried to get all up on you no matter what; you’d rather me not see it? Is that what you’re saying…hide it from me?”

“I would have told you. It clearly hurt you more to see something that wasn’t true. Please can we just forget about this? I’ve been so miserable this week. I can’t stand you being upset at me or the thought of losing you. I’ve never had these feelings for anyone before.”

He brought me to tears; they were dripping down my face. I had to forgive him, for myself, for him. I wanted him back with everything inside of me, “I’m sorry I over reacted. You mean so much to me and I couldn’t stand losing you to someone else. I can’t stand thinking of you with anyone but me. It’s selfish.”

“Then I’m selfish too.” He smiled.