My Conscience Called in Sick Again
A Drink For The Horror That I’m In
- Three Years Later -
Hey, my name is Kevin Rush. I’m 25 years old, lives in New Orleans and I am practically a complete mess.
That’s probably how it would sound if I was at Anonymous Heartbreakers. By the way, those something like that actually exist? Because then I’m in a big need for a visit.
After what I had done towards Lee nothing had been the same again. Almost all of our friends ended the contact with me, even my brother ignored me for a long while.
But I couldn’t blame anyone else then myself. It was my fault, my wrong, my bad.
“What happened then?”
I look up at the man with brown hair and brown eyes that sits on a chair besides me in the local pub. His name is Gavin and I guess that he is in the same age that Lee was now. 21.
Back then he had been 19. Back then when I broke both of our hearts.
“Then…” I drank up the last of my whiskey and did a grimace by the taste. “… nothing happened.”
I ordered in two new whiskeys for us while he was looking over me. We both knew that the only reason to why he was listening to my whining was because he hoped to work as a ‘comfort’ for me and get laid.
“We never spoke again.” I continued when we had got the new whiskeys. “His brother came two days later to collect all of his things. I never had thought about how much that reminded me about him until they were gone.”
The apartment felt so empty now. The only things that I had left as memory from Lee was the dark blue couch he had picked out and the double bed we had chose together. Everything else was gone.
“That’s so sad. I’m sorry.” A modest hand was laid over my thigh. Camouflaged as the three C’s; caring, consisting and consulted.
The image of those comforting words disappeared as soon as his hand slide higher up on my thigh and we leaned closer.
Lips belonging to two different but equal as lonely men were crashing against each other in a slow and gentle kiss.
Half an hour later the kiss had changed into craving, demanding and impatient while we got into my apartment.
My mind was spinning in a mix between Lee’s face and what Gavin was doing with me while quickly ripping of each others clothes.
He eagerly un-bucked my pants while he was trying to go backwards to the bedroom.
But I stopped him.
“No, no. Not the bed.” I said when he kissed me over my neck and chest. “We’ll stay out here.”
The bed belonged to Lee. No-one then he would ever touch it again. No body would be laid down naked over it so long that naked body wasn’t Lee.
Not even I slept in it anymore. I didn’t deserve to.
Gavin didn’t seem to care too much, the floor worked fine for him.
---
When the morning came and I got waked up by the sun shining in my eyes Gavin was already gone.
And I didn’t care. We had both know that it was just a one time happening and that it didn’t mean something. He was just another blurry memory in my useless life.
The only one who still glow sharp as the sun was Lee.
The boy I had used to destroy my own life.
The boy that I still loved.
(This has nothing with the story to do at all, but can someone *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* help me to understand how to get the words into italic, big, undercrossed and overcrossed? I start to get REALLY frustrated here and the explenation I got was confusing >_< And I know that some of the words would get the "true power" when they are in italic :p )
Hey, my name is Kevin Rush. I’m 25 years old, lives in New Orleans and I am practically a complete mess.
That’s probably how it would sound if I was at Anonymous Heartbreakers. By the way, those something like that actually exist? Because then I’m in a big need for a visit.
After what I had done towards Lee nothing had been the same again. Almost all of our friends ended the contact with me, even my brother ignored me for a long while.
But I couldn’t blame anyone else then myself. It was my fault, my wrong, my bad.
“What happened then?”
I look up at the man with brown hair and brown eyes that sits on a chair besides me in the local pub. His name is Gavin and I guess that he is in the same age that Lee was now. 21.
Back then he had been 19. Back then when I broke both of our hearts.
“Then…” I drank up the last of my whiskey and did a grimace by the taste. “… nothing happened.”
I ordered in two new whiskeys for us while he was looking over me. We both knew that the only reason to why he was listening to my whining was because he hoped to work as a ‘comfort’ for me and get laid.
“We never spoke again.” I continued when we had got the new whiskeys. “His brother came two days later to collect all of his things. I never had thought about how much that reminded me about him until they were gone.”
The apartment felt so empty now. The only things that I had left as memory from Lee was the dark blue couch he had picked out and the double bed we had chose together. Everything else was gone.
“That’s so sad. I’m sorry.” A modest hand was laid over my thigh. Camouflaged as the three C’s; caring, consisting and consulted.
The image of those comforting words disappeared as soon as his hand slide higher up on my thigh and we leaned closer.
Lips belonging to two different but equal as lonely men were crashing against each other in a slow and gentle kiss.
Half an hour later the kiss had changed into craving, demanding and impatient while we got into my apartment.
My mind was spinning in a mix between Lee’s face and what Gavin was doing with me while quickly ripping of each others clothes.
He eagerly un-bucked my pants while he was trying to go backwards to the bedroom.
But I stopped him.
“No, no. Not the bed.” I said when he kissed me over my neck and chest. “We’ll stay out here.”
The bed belonged to Lee. No-one then he would ever touch it again. No body would be laid down naked over it so long that naked body wasn’t Lee.
Not even I slept in it anymore. I didn’t deserve to.
Gavin didn’t seem to care too much, the floor worked fine for him.
---
When the morning came and I got waked up by the sun shining in my eyes Gavin was already gone.
And I didn’t care. We had both know that it was just a one time happening and that it didn’t mean something. He was just another blurry memory in my useless life.
The only one who still glow sharp as the sun was Lee.
The boy I had used to destroy my own life.
The boy that I still loved.
(This has nothing with the story to do at all, but can someone *beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep* help me to understand how to get the words into italic, big, undercrossed and overcrossed? I start to get REALLY frustrated here and the explenation I got was confusing >_< And I know that some of the words would get the "true power" when they are in italic :p )