Camisado

I really wasn’t enjoying this. But if I were to be truthful with myself, I would know that I actually am. But usually, lying to myself is easier than thinking truthful thoughts. I hate Brendon, I hate Ryan, I hate Vegas.

Lies. Lies. Lies.

I can spit out lies like snakes inject venom; I can make myself believe them too. Usually, I can tell myself that I’m ugly, and unlovable without even doubting it for a second, but when I think ‘I hate Brendon and Ryan’ I find it almost impossible for me to believe it, because I know I don’t hate them. How could I? They were so sweet and kind to me, even when I was a sarcastic bitch. How could I hate them? They were funny and genuine, and went out of their way to talk to me, even though I really don’t understand why.

They were splashing in the pool, as I sat on the side of them, watching them with my sharp blue eyes from where I laid on a lounging chair. I placed one hand over my bare stomach because it had failed at being covered by the light blue plaid bikini. My other hand ran through my wavy brown hair as it sat lightly on my shoulders in a ponytail. I felt slightly uncomfortable just sitting there watching them, but I was too much of a loser to go into the water. I sat on the lounge chair looking aimlessly around at the scenery, until I heard my name being called out. I shot my head over to look at Brendon, who had called me.

“Yeah?” I asked the soaking wet Brendon the stood in front of me.

“Will you play with us?” He asked, giving me that same puppy dog face, the pouting lip, the praying hands, and the sad eyes. I saw Ryan leaning against the side of the pool with the same look on his face.

I sighed as I chewed on my lips. Now most girls would love to go swimming with two mildly cute boys on a hot summer day, but I don’t think I’ll ever be categorized with “most” girls. I hate swimming. I used to love it, but now I hate it. Although, in recent months I seem to have a hateful feeling towards most things, but that is irrelevant.

I grumbled a little bit under my breath before I answered.

“Alright,” I said reluctantly. Their faces immediately switched gears as broad smiles appeared on the faces of both boys. I stood from the lounge chair and walked over to the side of the pool, I dipped my toe in. It was cool, but not freezing, so it would be very refreshing. I sat down on the edge of the pool, letting my feet hang into the water. “What game are we playing?” I asked as Brendon jumped back into the pool, wiping off the small water droplets that fell onto my face. Ryan shrugged.

“I don’t know,” he replied. He waited for a moment until Brendon popped his head above the water. “Hey Bren, What are we playing?” he asked his friend. Brendon shrugged.

“I don’t know….um…We could play Marco Polo?..” I scrunched up my nose in response. “So that’s a no then…” he sighed. “Um, how about shark?”

“What the hell is shark?” I kind of asked, but not really. It was more of a frank statement. Brendon sighed again.

“How about volleyball?” Ryan spoke up, pointing to a white ball by the side of the pool. I shrugged.

“I’m cool with that.”

“YAY!” Brendon squealed as he hopped out of the pool and ran off somewhere for God knows why. I don’t think I’ll ever understand that boy, but he is very amusing, and aggravating.

I won’t deny it. I envy him very much. In the time I’ve been at his house, I’ve learned that he has four siblings, his parents are filthy rich, his father is still living (granted he lives across the country but still), and he can play every fucking instrument you can think of. The only thing I don’t envy that he has? Possibly his middle name, but at least he has a nice first name, unlike me. I’ve got a stupid middle name and a stupid first name, not to mention a really common last name. God, I suck.

Anyway, yeah, I envy Brendon a lot. I don’t know a whole lot about Ryan, but I’m sure his life is just the same. He seems like the type of kid who would be like that. I know he’s really into music, just like Brendon is, and usually music is an expensive hobby, but who am I to judge? Exactly I’m not; in fact I have no right to be alive, because I am a hypocrite. You know, in the biblical times, they killed hypocrites. Yep, it’s true. They did it because hypocrites were bad influences on the church so they had to get rid of them. Thank God I don’t live in biblical times because I would be screwed over, but perhaps that’s not such a bad thing.

But before I could continue thinking those thoughts, Brendon was running back over to the pool with a large net entangled around him. He grinning widely as he ran over to the two of us by the pool and set the net down. “So…You guys wanna help me put it up?” he asked, grin never falling.

Ten minutes later they net was set up and we were ready to play. It was going to be me against Brendon. Ryan would play winner. Ryan wanted to be on my team, but I had insisted that I was fully capable of kicking Brendon’s ass without his help. Hey, what can I say? Sports bring me out of my shell. I’m sure it is the challenge. I can’t back down from a challenge. It’s like a need for me. If you tell me I can’t do something, I will do it right then and there just to prove you wrong. No one tells me that I am not capable of accomplishing anything.

So it was decided that for now, Ryan would be referee. He got all official about it and everything. He brought out a whistle, and a scoreboard. I guess that’s another thing I know about Ryan now. When he does something, he does it full out. No, he doesn’t just want to do it halfway, he wants to do it the best and most amazing way it can be. And if he had known me two years ago, we would have had that in common.

I was once ambitious, I once had a purpose, but after you loose someone who is important to you, everything else that was once important to you, isn’t so important anymore. But we’re not going to talk about my past; we’re going to talk about the volleyball game.

I beat Brendon badly, just like I said I would, but that’s just because back then, when I was ambitious, I played a whole lot of sports, and volleyball was one of the ones I was best at. Ryan looked pretty confidant as he walked into the pool though. I wasn’t afraid of him. I could beat his ass, just like I could Brendon’s, but apparently Ryan’s ambitious attitude overruled his small tiny body.

After Brendon sorrowfully blew the whistle, the ball came whizzing over the net in a perfect serve. I returned the ball with ease, but Ryan wasn’t done yet. After a rally back and forth over the net, Ryan made a move to spike, and set the ball straight into the water on my side just before my hand could send it back over. Brendon blew his whistle with an eye roll as Ryan grinned madly. I suppressed a growl as I threw the ball back over to him. Brendon changed the scoreboard, it was 1 – 0 Ryan, but he wouldn’t be ahead for long.

It was an interesting game to say the least. We probably played for a good forty-five minutes. I would score, than Ryan would score, and it just kept going that way. Finally when Ryan was up by one point at twenty-five, we decided that whoever scored the next point would win. It was my serve, and I hit it well and hard. It went sailing over the net right to the corner of the court, but he got his fist on it. Again it went flying over the net, and I returned it with the same force. Gradually, our hits were becoming lighter, and we were moving closer to the net because of it. I decided that I would make my move while he was far up against the net. I would hit it as hard as I could and as high as I could, and he would jump and miss it, without a way for recovery. Yes, it was a brilliant plan, and my time was coming when he hit it over the net once more. I bent my arm back with my fist enclosed, aiming for the ball I wacked it as hard as I possibly could. My plan was working. The ball flew right through his hands, didn’t even touch them and I smiled as I saw victory in my hands, but then I heard the ball hit the cement. Looking past Ryan, I saw that indeed the ball had landed right on the side of the pool out of bounds. I had lost the game. My pride was broken. But I think I was more than anything confused, because as I frowned at the bouncing ball, Ryan was frowning the same way at me with a sad look in his eyes and I couldn’t tell if I liked it or hated it.