Darling, What Is Going On?

Today was the day of my mother's funeral. My father was the one who murdered her a week ago, and if he'd have seen me, he probably would have killed me too; they way he looked at me when the police were taking him to the police car scared the shit out of me.

I looked at myself in the mirror; Black cap-sleeve dress with a black hoodie, black ballet flats.....black black black. Black was depressing, but so was today.

I, on the other hand, was as pale as a ghost. I've always been pale, but I looked like a ghost now; I looked dead. I looked empty, lifeless.

"Baby, it's time to go." I heard Ronnie call from the bedroom doorway. I sighed and grabbed my black shiny clutch purse off of the bathroom counter and walked out to see Ronnie, dressed in a black button-down shirt with the sleeves rolled up a little and black tight skinny jeans. As always.

Ronnie walked out of his house with me, his hand on the small of my back. I walked out to his Dad's car, who was waiting in the drivers seat for us and we both got in the backseat. Nothing was said, we just drove to the funeral home.

"Momma........" I whispered once we went into the room with my mother's casket, closed. Ronnie and his dad walked on either side of me, Ronnie's arm around my waist tightly. We took our seats and I saw a buncha of people. People I didn't know. They must've been relatives or something...

The priest said prayers, people went up to the stand and gave their eulogies, and soon I was next to give mine. I inhaled shakily as I stood up, smoothing my dress out and walking up to the stand, looking at all of the people in front of me. I looked at my mother's casket and choked back tears.

"My mom was the best mom I could have ever asked for......she was like my best friend, but she always played the role of a mother well. I'll never forget all of the times we've been through, good and bad.....we helped each other out through it all, especially through the divorce. My mom taught me so many things, but she most importantly taught me how to be strong and to not have to depend on anyone. She taught me how to never take shit from anyone, and I love her for that."

I started crying, and I knew I wasn't going to be able to say much more. "I love you mom, and I wish you were still here right now. But because you aren't, I'm gonna take the things you got to teach me and put them to use, and be strong. For you."

I walked off of the stand crying my eyes out, sitting back in my seat between Ronnie and his dad.

"Your mom's probably so proud of your right now, baby doll....." Ronnie whispered in my ear, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and squeezing me lightly. I buried my face in his shoulder and wailed, not caring if I was being loud.

Soon, after many tears, sobs, wails, and cries, we were at the cemetery getting ready to bury my mom. We all threw our white and red roses on the casket, and they lowered the casket, starting to put the dirt on top of it.

"Momma!" I cried, sobbing and wailing in Ronnie's chest. He held me close, sniffling and crying a little himself.

"Everything's gonna get better, Annabelle.......I promise." He whispered, rubbing my back soothingly. I rested my head on his shoulder, sadly watching the men bury my mother, the woman who gave me life.

"Bye Mom." I whispered barely audible. Ronnie kissed the top of my head and rested his chin atop of it, swaying slightly.

***

Even 2 hours after they had buried my mom and everyone had left, Ronnie and I were still sitting by my mom's grave, telling each other about our childhoods and our mother's and such. Which I kinda felt bad about talking about my mom to Ronnie, since he never had a mother.

I saw Mr. Radke's car pulling up in front of the cemetery's gates, and got up, along with Ronnie. We dusted ourselves off, and I gazed at my mom's grave one more time.

"Bye Mom. I'll come back tomorrow and visit again. I love you..." I whispered, tears coming back to my eyes. Ronnie lead me to the car, and his dad drove us back to his house.

We walked in, and I went straight for Ronnie and I's bedroom. Yes, I'm now living with Ronnie and his dad now, since he's technically an adult, being 18 and all. I went to the dresser and pulled out some pajama pants and a t-shirt, slipping out of my hoodie and dress, kicking the shoes off too. I put the pajamas on and went straight to the bed, pulling up the covers and crawling under, enjoying the warmth it was giving me.

Ronnie came in a few minutes after, closing the door behind him. He took off everything but his boxers and climbed in next to me, wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me close to himself.

"Your mom's probably watching over you right now, and freaking out that we're both in the same bed so close together." He whispered in my ear jokingly. I giggled just a tiny bit and looked up at him, seeing a small smile on his face. I smiled a bit too and leaned up, kissing him on the lips gently.

"She knows you'll take care of me." I whispered once we pulled away. I buried my face in his chest, taking in his scent of Axe and cigarettes, something I was used to now.

"And I'm not gonna let her down." He whispered. I closed my eyes, a small smile creeping up on my face as I slipped into a deep slumber.