These Things Have Changed

“Everyone over here please, yes look at me the man starting too bald talking at the head of the table! Ah thank you.” Mr. Jonas said causing me to giggle. We were all at breakfast at some truck stop somewhere in Ohio. “Okay now Disney has contacted us and wants us to head out to the studios on our next few days off to tape some commercials and things for the network.” “Cool!” Nicole said excitedly. I smiled and then ate the last piece of my tiny waffle. “Yea, very cool and guess who they want to do the commercial” Mr. Jonas said, I took a sip of my water and yawned. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Stupid nightmares. “Yep, Ally they want you to shoot some with the boys!” I widened my eyes and looked over towards Mr. Jonas. “wait what?” I asked. “Disney asked if you’d be willing to tape some commercials with the boys” “But I don’t work for Disney” I said confused, can’t you only do that stuff if you work for the station? “We know but they asked so I don’t see why not” Mr. Jonas said shrugging. I smiled, “Sounds great” He smiled back and sat back down. “Wait dad when are we flying out?” “Um well you have a show tomorrow and then the next day, so let’s see that means we’d fly out on…” He looked over at Mrs. Jonas while thinking over our schedule in his head, poor man. I swear his whole brain is just one big calendar filled with our stuff. “Thursday” Mrs. Jonas answered. “Sweet!” Joe said popping a grape in his mouth. I sat back a little and yawned again. “You okay Ally?” Mrs. Jonas asked. “Hm? Oh yea I’m fine, just a little tired.” “Why so tired?” She asked while cutting her pancakes. “Um just couldn’t sleep” I said with yet another yawn, Frankie laughed along with Joe. “Sorry” I said turning a little red. “Oh don’t worry, touring takes a toll on us all. Why don’t you just take a nap when we get finished here?” “Exactly what I was thinking Mrs. Jonas” I said with a smile. She returned it and I looked around the rest stop…it was deserted.

“JOE I AM ALERGIC TO FRUIT! GET THAT OUT OF MY FACE!!” Kevin shouted causing me to snap my neck over in their direction. I cracked a smile at the sight of Joe trying to force feed Kevin an orange slice. Nicole laughed before telling Joe to stop being mean to his brother, even if he was faking it. “I am not faking it!” Kevin protested. I rolled my eyes before standing. “Where are you going?” Joe asked quickly while Nick looked over at me then back to his plate. “Bathroom I’ll be right back.” I said. I reached the bathroom and walked inside and over towards the mirror. I starred at myself for a moment, I looked different. I don’t know how but I feel like it’s a bad different. I shook the thought out of my head. I pulled up my shirt and took in the view of my stomach, lovely. Not. I made my way to the stall to throw up the breakfast I had just eaten. I know I shouldn’t but it’s like I just can’t loose this stomach fat I’ve been starring at in the mirror now for weeks. Once that’s gone, I swear I’ll stop. I swear.

After I fixed myself up and rinsed out my mouth a few times and popped a piece of gum in my mouth I made my way back to the table. Everyone seemed to be finished and waiting for me. “Ready?” Mr. Jonas asked us all. I responded with a yawn and by walking towards the exit. I need some sleep now. “Ready Ally I’ll race you!!” Frankie shouted I laughed and started chasing after the hyper active eight year old. I made it about ten feet and then all of a sudden I started to see spots. Many different black spots. This is not normal. Then I felt like I was on a tilt-a-whirl and I just desperately wanted to get off. I closed my eyes tried to balance myself..it didn’t work out so well. I stumbled over my feet and fell to the ground. “Ally!!!” Was yelled from behind me. I tried to shake the dizziness away. I saw some feet coming into my view of the ground and I slowly looked up, “I’m fine” I tried to choke out but when I looked up I just became even dizzier. Joe lifted me up off the ground and quickly got me into the bus with everyone behind us. I was laid out on the couch.

“Ally what’s wrong? Does anything hurt?” Mr. Jonas asked looking me over while feeling my far head. Soon his hand was replaced with a wet towel. It felt real good on my head. “I’m fine, just really tired.” I said smiling a bit. “Are you sure honey?” Mrs. Jonas asked with a concerned face. “Yea, I promise” I said while yawning. She smiled at me. “Okay here Kevin carry her back and tuck her in” Mrs. Jonas said. “Oh I can walk Kev” I tried to protest but Kevin scooped me up and carried me to my bunk. “Ally you sure your okay?” “Promise Kev” I said with a smile while he pulled the blanket over me. “Need anything else?” He asked. “Can you hand me my iPod?” I asked and a few seconds later I was listening to Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis, one of my favorites for a bad day. I rolled over and someone closed my curtain, most likely Kevin or Joe. I couldn’t hear anyone just the lyrics.

Well all of the stars were faded away,
just try not to worry you’ll see them someday.
Just take what you need and be on your way
and stop crying your heart out.

I don’t know what it is about the song but when I really listen to it, it makes me cry. Every time. I fell asleep crying to the words and dreading the nightmare that would soon wake me up like so many times before.