These Things Have Changed

I woke up to a slow steady beeping. I tried to sit up but something tugged at my arm and that’s when I saw the IV. I laid my head back down and let out a breath. “Ally your awake” Nicole said walking in to the tiny hospital room. “Yea” I said bringing my hand up to feel the oxygen tubes going into my nose. “You were dehydrated, and not responding well to the regular treatments. Something about not having enough iron or nutrients in your body.” She said sitting down in the chair next to my bed. It was then I realized she was only whispering, “Why are you whispering?” I asked her. She pointed to the opposite corner of the room and I tilted my head to see Nick asleep. “He never left.” She said crossing her legs. “Stubborn” I said. “You’re lucky he caught you before you fell back down the steps.” She said to me with seriousness. “He did?” I asked looking back at him. I noticed he had dark circles under his eyes, “He hasn’t slept much has he?” I asked looking back at her. “Not really, he stayed the night the past two days.” She said. “two days!?” I said shocked. “Yea, pretty serious stunt you pulled. Running for five hours with out taking one sip of water! And you were running on an empty stomach! How were you even fueling yourself!?” She said. “I was just trying to get away from everything I guess” I said. “Away from what?” She asked. “I don’t know. I was still upset.” I said sighing. The door opened behind her and Kevin poked his head in. “Oh good you’re up!” He said walking in with Joe behind him. I smiled at them.

They took off their glasses and hats and sat down beside Nick. “Where are your parents?” I asked them. “Trying to get something down about the paparazzi in the lobby.” Joe said scooting his chair closer. “Paparazzi?” I asked. “Yea, you’ve made headlines baby,” Joe said. I looked over at Kevin. “Sorry Al, we couldn’t really do anything to help it from spreading…” He said slowly looking at me, “What are they saying?” Joe stood up and clicked on the tiny television in the corner and tuned it to E! “Joe this is a True Hollywood Story on Jennifer Anniston” I said confused. “There’s a breaking news banner at the bottom,” He said pointing to the red strip running across the screen. “I can’t read it from here, what does it say?” I asked. “Breaking News: Ally Windle is hospitalized after fainting from lack of eating. No word on her condition. Though each member of the Jonas family and few friends have been spotted entering and exiting the hospital at all hours. Nick Jonas was seen entering when Ally was first admitted two days ago but has not been spotted since.” “Great” I said quietly. “It’s alright, dad will take care of all of it” Kevin said rubbing my arm reassuringly. “Where’s Lindsey?” I asked him, “She decided to head back early and to start looking at the near by churches.” He said sighing. I smiled. “It’s coming up Kev.” I said squeezing his hand, well trying to anyway. “I know, scary isn’t it?” He asked. “A little” I admitted. He smiled at me and then we heard some movement coming from Nick in the corner. “What are you all doing in here?” He asked groggily. “She’s awake” I heard Joe say and then I saw Nick stand up from the corner and stand behind Kevin. “How ya feeling?” He asked looking at the monitors pretending to read them, like he knew what any of them actually meant. “Fine, a little tired and confused.” I said. Everyone was quiet for a moment then I spoke up, “Oh Nick thanks for catching me” “No problem.” He said. “What time is it?” I asked and Nicole pulled out a phone, “almost three” “Nice phone” I said smiling at her, “Thanks, Joe bought it for me” She said smiling. “I told you I would.” I said to her, “But then you put yourself in the hospital.” Joe said laughing a bit. “Yea, yea. Look I’m really fine can we get out of here. Hospitals depress me.” I said trying to sit up again but failing. “We’ll go find a nurse. But don’t move anymore, you’ll rip out your IV.” Joe said standing up. Nicole and Kevin stood up to and soon left the room. I looked over at Nick once the door closed and he sat down rubbing his eyes.

“You didn’t have to stay.” I said to him. “Yea I did.” He said leaning over the bars on the bed I was in. “Really you didn’t” I said to him, “Al, who else would get you through the nightmares?” He asked holding up my wrist. I had no idea what he was doing until I realized he was reading the plastic hospital band around it. “Right, forgot bout those. Well thanks you know for everything.” I said again. “I was lucky you were there to save me,” I said and he laughed. “I didn’t really save you. Just caught you.” “Same difference” I said to him. “What made you run for that long?” He asked dropping my hand softly onto the bed. “I don’t know. I just kept going” I said shrugging. “How’s Miley?” I asked. “Shaken up…she posted on her Twitter for everyone to keep praying for you.” He said. “That’s nice” I said looking at my hand, something was written on it. “What is this?” I asked bringing my hand closer to see. “Mitchel was here earlier, I think he wrote it.” Nick said sitting back. Pull Through, Be Strong. I smiled at the writing. “He’s corny” Nick said flatly from beside me. I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think so” I said looking at my hand again. “You hate corny.” Nick said leaning back over. “Well maybe I don’t anymore.” I said putting my hand down, he was right…I hate corny but what Mitchel wrote wasn’t corny at all. “Whatever.” I heard him mumble from beside me but I ignored him. “So is it really bad?” I asked him after a few moments of silence. “Is what bad?” He asked confused. “The tabloids” I said. “Um do you want the raw truth or sugarcoated?” Nick asked looking from his phone that had vibrated then back to me then back to the phone. “Sugarcoated.” I said. “Okay well then, no. The paparazzi was nice enough to let this little mishap go un noticed.”. He said while typing on the phone. “Okay the truth for real.” I said. “Remember when Brittany Spears shaved her head?” He asked. “Oh my god, you’re joking right?” I asked. “I wish.” He said looking at me in the eyes then back to the phone. “I really did it this time didn’t I?” I asked quietly. “Mhm” He said not even looking up. “Are you mad?” I asked looking at him. He was still typing away. “Not really, I kind of expected this.” He said sighing and rubbing his eyes again. “What do you mean you expected this?” I asked. “I mean I didn’t expect you to start eating again, I know you to well” He said opening his eyes and looking at me. “I was really trying Nick” I said coldly. “Well you tried for a little bit, but gave up.” He said. “I did not give up” I said. “Ally look around yourself. You’re in a hospital with tubes hooked up to you feeding your body because you can’t anymore. You tried, but you quit on yourself.” He said standing up. “I did not quit on myself! I tried Nick, I really tried!!” I said getting upset and trying to sit up. “I know you tried Ally, you just didn’t try hard enough.” He said before walking out the door. “He is such an ass!” I shouted as a nurse walked in.

“Glad to see you are up and talking Miss Windle.” The woman said. I smiled at her embarrassed she had just heard me. “Thanks, I’m sorry about that. He’s just really stubborn and inconsiderate and he just knows how to push my buttons” I said reminding myself to calm down. “Well all of our boyfriends are like that aren’t they?” She said laughing a bit. “Oh he is not my boyfriend.” I said shaking my head. “Oh really?” “Yea really.” I said. “Then why did he write that on your hand?” She asked pointing to the writing. “Oh no he didn’t write that” I said shaking my head and pulling my hand up. “I walked in when he was writing it honey.” She said writing something on a chart at the end of the bed. “Are you sure it wasn’t another boy?” “Unless that other rockstar has a twin.” She said laughing and putting the board back at then end of my bed. “But he said?” I asked confused. “Honey, not everyone admits to what they do.” She said checking my pulse. Why did he say Mitchel wrote that? “Anyway honey, I suggest you stay the night again, then sneak out the back door early in the morning so those cameras can’t get you” “Thank you so much.” I said smiling at her and yawning. “Sorry” I apologized. “It’s fine, we upped the doses of iron you're taking and increased your nutrients a bit so hopefully you won’t be so tired.” “Thank you” I said again as she smiled. “Oh and honey, I didn’t tell you it was the rockstar who wrote on you okay?” She said smiling and I smiled back. “Okay I promise.” I said and she walked out of the room. I moved my head over and looked out the big window. I could only see the sky because of the angle I was in the bed but I didn’t mind. I smiled and brought my hand up again, Pull Through, Be Strong. I clenched my hand into a fist and started to fall asleep again.

I woke up to the nurse changing my IV. “Sorry sweetie.” “Oh it’s fine, do you know what time it is?” “Almost five Ally” I looked behind the nurse and saw Mr. Jonas. “Thanks, and sorry Mr. Jonas.” “Don’t be sorry, you just have to be smarter about running and staying hydrated.” “Yea, I guess I just forgot.” I said simply. “Well it happens way to often for my liking” Mrs. Jonas said from beside him. “Sorry” I said confused. I don’t know what they want me to say here…. “Well we have an easy solution.” Mr. Jonas said. I sat there starring at them both waiting for their answer. “We’ve seen the tabloids Ally, we’ve read the rumors, hell we’ve seen it in front of our eyes but just didn’t want to believe it….” Mr. Jonas said rubbing his hands over his face…this is not good. I played with my fingers for a moment and saw the writing was still on my hand I read it over again, Pull Through, Be Strong. “Ally honey, you have a problem don’t you?” Mrs. Jonas asked sweetly from beside me. I didn’t respond just kept reading the words written on my hand. It’s like he knew I would need them to get me through the days here. “Okay well we have come up with two things we can do.” Mr. Jonas said coughing a bit to get my attention back. I looked up sadly, I could feel the tears coming so I pinched my arm to hold them back. “You can either a, go back to your aunt’s in Michigan since you were doing well there with out all the stress and being in the public eye.” “Mr. Jonas I can’t!” I squeaked out. “Okay well then there is choice B.” Mrs. Jonas said looking to Mr. Jonas then back to me. “What’s choice B?” I asked quickly. “You stay here with us-“ “YES” I said jumping the gun. “there is more Ally.” “Sorry” I said meekly. “Okay, you stay with us, but no more performing, it only causes you stress, no more being out with just anybody…I’m afraid you’ll have to limit that to just the boys, ourselves, and Nicole. Oh and no being alone anymore.” Mr. Jonas said laying down the ultimatum. “I’ll take it.” I said taking a breath. “Oh no there is one more thing.” Mr. Jonas said. Then as if on que they both looked at me and said, “Therapy.” “THERAPY?!” I shouted. “Yes Ally. Therapy, you obviously have something going on up there that is not healthy… so therapy.” Mr. Jonas said putting his hands down on his knees, signaling the end of the conversation. “Okay.” I said looking back to my hand. I felt Mrs. Jonas grab my other hand and squeeze it. I looked up and smiled at her through the tears I was desperately holding back. “Doctor says you are free to go Miss. Windle.” The nurse said popping her head back in the room. I smiled at her and noticed all my tubes had been unhooked. “Here Ally, you change and we’ll meet you out in the hall.” Mrs. Jonas said. I nodded and watched as they left the room leaving me here.

I swung my legs over and got up took a minute to stable myself before I changed into the sweats Mr. and Mrs. Jonas had brought with them. I threw my hair up into a high pony tail and slid on the glasses over my face. I pulled up the hood and slid on the flip-flops and walked out of the room. “Ready?” Mr. Jonas asked. “Mhm” I said. I stood there as Mr. Jonas signed me out of the hospital. “It’ll be okay Ally. We’ll get through this.” Mrs. Jonas said to me. I nodded a yes and opened up the palm of my hand again and read the words that for some reason felt more reassuring to me. One of the interns led us to the back door and we walked out only to be greetedby the many flashes we had been hopping to avoid. I put my head down as we walked. I was so upset that all I wanted to do was go back to my bed and sleep forever. We shoved our way through the paparazzi with the help of Big Rob and soon we were back to the condo. Mr. Jonas walked me into the house, it was dark meaning everyone was asleep. “Get some sleep honey.” Mr. Jonas said. “Thank you Mr. Jonas” I said as he hugged me. “Don’t thank me” He said. Then he watched as I waked into my room and closed the door behind me. I almost didn’t make it to the bed before I started to hypervenalate over the fact that I was basically done performing and under house arrest for who knows how long.